Be Careful What You Wish For
by TheDoctorAndSarah
Summary: Sarah and her mysterious stranger each try to build a new life for themselves, but big changes are coming. Sequel to "The Long Road Home". SJ, Brig, 4  flashback  - later: 10, Jack ****NOW COMPLETE****
1. Chapter 1

**URGENT NOTE:** As you may know, the BBC starts shooting the 50th anniversary special this week. If you'd like to see a proper tribute to Sarah Jane in the special, please consider signing the petition at www dot ipetitions dot com / petition/sarah-jane-smith-dr-who-tribute (automatic link removed because we don't want to break any rules) and passing it on to any groups you belong to. If we all pass it on, we can make a difference! Time (ironically) is of the essence! Thanks!

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> This story is a sequel to "The Long Road Home." Here's what we told you at the top of that story, in case you missed it:

["The Long Road Home" is] actually the first in a series of interconnected stories. We promise that each will have a well-defined beginning and end, but they'll all fit into an arc that starts when a man shows up on Sarah Jane Smith's doorstep with no memory and ends when … well, you'll just have to find out.

As far as canon, all of these stories mesh with what we've actually seen onscreen in Doctor Who itself, but **not necessarily Sarah Jane Adventures.**

(OK, everything onscreen in Doctor Who except the Brigadier's history in "Mawdryn Undead", and that's because THOSE writers were fudging dates and hoping nobody would notice.)

Also, if you've come here because we've listed "Tenth Doctor" in the second character pulldown, we should tell you now that he doesn't appear until much later in the series … or does he?

If you haven't read "The Long Road Home," one day Sarah, newly returned from traveling with the Doctor, finds a man, unconscious and bleeding, on her doorstep. She thinks he may be the Doctor, but he's only got one heart. Eventually she takes this "John Doe" into her home, and … well, we won't spoil it for you, but at the top of this next story, they've both decided to try and put the past behind them and move on with their lives. (You **can **read this story without reading "The Long Road Home", but you'll probably enjoy it more if you do. :))

We were so grateful for all of your comments and reviews the first time around; it was a lot of work to make sure that everything fits together and stays within on-screen continuity, so we really appreciate your support!

Thanks...

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><p><strong>South Croydon: June, 1977<strong>

Sarah sat by her kitchen window, drinking a cup of tea and watching several neighborhood children using the swing set. She smiled as she heard the children laughing. It was that swing set that had caused the local mums to bring their children with them when they needed to have their small appliances repaired.

She was so proud of John. As shaken as he'd been at being kidnapped as part of an alien invasion, he had been brave, and he had still managed to help save the day. Afterwards, when things had settled down, John had painted the old shed in the back of the house and she had planted some flowers around the front of it.

From that day on, he was in the fix-it business.

Now the shop was a success, and she had to admit, the sound of children playing wasn't the tremendous distraction from her writing she'd thought it would be.

More than that, her life didn't feel quite so empty any more.

She looked over at the swing set she'd played on as a child. This house meant a lot to her, but she'd lost track of that long before the Doctor dumped her back on Earth. She had been caught in a downward spiral and her life was beginning to seem hopeless until John stumbled across her doorstep that rainy night almost two months ago. Funny, she mused, who would have thought that someone who had no memory could bring out so many memories in anyone else?

She startled as she was brought out of her musing by the sound of children squealing loudly. She looked to see what was going on and there was John, one child on his shoulders and another one hanging on his leg as he walked towards the house. He stopped for a moment and pulled something out of his pocket as he set the smallest child back down.

She shook her head at them. It was butterscotch candy, his favorite. He always carried a handful of it in his pocket. The children were coming to expect it now whenever they saw him. He handed a piece to each of them and then popped one into his mouth. Then he sent them back home next door and after he watched them go, he started once more for the back door.

"Ready for lunch, John," she called out to him as he walked in.

"Always," he called back to her. He stopped at the kitchen sink to wash his hands. "Has the post come?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry, but nothing yet, John. Maybe tomorrow we'll hear something." She watched his head drop down in disappointment and her heart went out to him. "I made one of your favorites today John, a roast beef sandwich with gravy and a salad on the side. I even have bread pudding for afters," she cajoled, smiling.

He looked up at her, head still down, and smiled. "You always know how to make things better," he said. They'd promised each other that they'd leave the past in the past, and though he tried, there was still part of him that felt a need to know who he really was. "Thank you," he said, trying not to look as disappointed as he felt.

He started setting the table. "Interpol did say we'd hear from them this week, didn't they? I suppose I shouldn't expect much though. After all, I'm just a simple missing person to them, right?"

Sarah shot him a satisfied grin. "Well maybe you would have been if I hadn't of pressed the Brigadier into leaning on them just a bit. It is only Wednesday afternoon though, John, they still have two and a half days to get back to us on it."

He smiled at her. "You did that for me?"

She put her hand on his shoulder. "That's what friends do, John. They see a friend in need and they try to help in any way that they can."

"I suppose," he said, thinking about what she'd said. He set the silverware out on the napkins, debating. "I finished fixing Mrs. Sanderson's vacuum cleaner," he finally said. "Apparently this time she'd hoovered up about half a skein of yarn, two gloves and a cat toy. Not sure what that was all about, but it's fixed now."

"Hmmph," said Sarah Jane suddenly with disgust, practically slamming the food on the table. "If you ask me Mrs. Sanderson did it on purpose, because she thinks you, as she told me last week, 'are as dishy as they come.' I think she should be ashamed of herself. I saw the way she was flirting with you when she dropped it off. I can't believe you just stood there and let her do it."

John felt almost physically knocked backwards by the sudden change of mood, but he recovered quickly; this was becoming routine. "I don't think she was actually flirting," he said. "At least, I didn't notice anything."

Sarah went into an imitation of her neighbor. "Oh Mister Doe! My heavens aren't you the clever one? How talented you are! So young and attractive and so gifted too," she said in a simpering voice. "Miss Smith certainly is lucky to have such a handsome house guest. I certainly do hope you'll be staying for a long time. By the way, I'd love to have you over for dinner one day this week if you can find the time. My husband is out of town a lot on business, so I'd really welcome the company. I simply hate cooking for just myself."

Sarah Jane scowled. "And she has the nerve to spread gossip about you and Harry staying here. In fact, she's gotten worse since Harry moved out. Jealous old harridan."

John might have smiled at the ridiculousness of her impression if she hadn't been so upset. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"Oh no, it's not your fault John, it's just..." She waved her arms around at the kitchen. "It's just everything lately. People judging me, giving me their opinion of what I should or shouldn't do, well meaning advice that just makes things worse, it's all too much," she said as she plopped down on a chair and started to cry.

John pulled his chair next to hers and put an arm around her shoulder, gently pulling her to him. "It's going to be all right," he said. He realized he couldn't put this off any longer. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sarah looked over at him and said nothing for a moment. Then she reached for a napkin and started to dry her eyes. "I'm sorry I burst out like that. I'm still adjusting to a lot of things since I got back here."

She shook her head as if to clear it. "I simply have to grow up and accept the fact that not all stories can have happy endings." Sarah shrugged and rubbed her shoulders, as if she suddenly felt a draft. "There comes a time when you have to stop waiting for life to correct itself and start taking charge of it. I just don't know what to do or where to start."

"Maybe I can help," John said.

"John, if even I don't know what to do, how can you help me?"

"Maybe I have a suggestion," he said. "About how to fix things."

She stared at him intently for a moment. "Like what? I'm not a toaster you know."

He took a deep breath. "Well, like maybe if there's something bothering you that I don't know about, you could tell me," he said, trying to draw her out. "I mean, I know there's the gossip and such, but I get the feeling it's more than that."

"You're right John, the gossip is the least of my problems. I've had that and much worse said about me before," she shrugged again. "I guess I didn't tell you that the neighbors think I take after my Aunt Lavinia and that they think she's a complete loony. To my face they just refer to her as eccentric, but I can tell what they're really thinking. Heaven spare me from mundane people," she laughed.

John didn't laugh with her. Instead, he waited.

Sarah looked at him and bit her lip. "You're not going to let go of this are you?"

He shook his head. "Sarah, you took me in when I was completely helpless, and you gave me a life. I owe you everything. Even if we hadn't been kidnapped by aliens and almost killed and had to save the world, I'd still feel like I do right now. I'd want to try to do anything I can to help you." He took another deep breath. "You and anybody else you were worried about."

Sarah stiffened. "Just what do you mean by that?"

He tried to be as gentle as possible, "Sarah, when you live with someone, you notice things about them. Things that other people might not notice."

Sarah just kept looking at him and said nothing.

He continued. "Like when you say you love a particular food and then you make it and you go running out of the room. Or the fact that you're in the loo every forty-two seconds." He squeezed her shoulder. "Or the fact that you sometimes get weepy for no apparent reason."

"You have a memory for the oddest things John. Have I mentioned that lately?"

"Maybe once or twice." He smiled softly at her. "So it's true, then. You're having a baby."


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh, now that's ridiculous," began Sarah Jane. "Me, a woman who plans to be a confirmed old maid, having a baby? That's just the silliest thing..." she trailed off and turned her head away, trying to holding her tears in check as best she could and failing miserably.

John just held her for a few minutes, waiting. When she'd gotten some of it out and started to quiet down a bit, he said, "It's all right," he said. "Really."

"No it's not," she sobbed. "I've been dumped and I feel used and discarded."

John hadn't been expecting that. "Used and … certainly it can't be as bad as all that."

"How else can I feel?" He left me on the curb like last week's rubbish. I thought he'd be back for me in five minutes or less. Then after a month I realized, he never said he was coming back. He never said wait for me. He never really gave me a proper goodbye. He more or less just mumbled it to me." Sarah shook her head, still in disbelief over their parting. "I must have done something wrong. He was probably glad to be rid of me and I'll never see him again."

"Wait, wait," John said, trying to put things together. He'd assumed that the father was Harry, or the Brigadier, or even someone he'd never even heard of who'd been in her life just before he had met her, but now... "Are we talking about the Doctor here? Because from everything you've told me about him, none of this makes any sense. Starting with the baby himself. Or herself."

She laughed sarcastically. "Since when did anything the Doctor does make sense? He's definitely the baby's father, and I'm a total idiot. Not only that but right now I have a huge problem that really can't be solved." She pushed her lunch away.

"What's that?"

"Look, I don't care what anybody says about me. I'm a big girl and I can handle myself. My real problem isn't that I'm having a baby, it's that I'm having an **alien** baby. Don't you see," she said, grateful for the opportunity to say what she'd been holding in for so long. "I can't just walk into an obstetrician's office, hop up on an examining table and get a normal antenatal check up, now can I? I don't want to end up being sent some place where both me and my child are going to end up dissected. I can't even swallow my pride and turn to the Brig for help. I need the Doctor, John and I need him now!"

John took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Sarah, from what I've seen working at UNIT the Brig is pretty understanding, and he really cares about you. If he knew you had a problem, I'm sure that he'd do anything he could to help you, right?"

"Of course he would, he always does. I sometimes hate having to turn to him for help because I don't want to take advantage of his friendship. That's why I'm careful about when to go to him for a favor." She paused a moment. "Well, I also know that he loves helping me out, so sometimes I ask him for little things just to make him feel good." She stopped once more considering what would happen if she confided in the Brigadier. 'No, it wouldn't work, no matter how I told him,' she thought. "This is different though, John. If I go to him now, aside from the lecture and the fact that it could turn him completely against the Doctor, I really think this is one problem he can't handle. UNIT doesn't even have an ObGyn on staff, let alone one that can deal with delivering a baby Time Lord."

"Well, I don't know about that," he said, taking her hand. "First off, I'm sure that if he knew you needed an obstetrician, he'd make sure that UNIT hired one, or at the very least he could find someone you can trust. Secondly, I've got a solution to the lecture, and your pride, and even nosy, gossipy neighbors."

John took a deep breath. "Marry me."

He put up a hand when she started to protest. "I know you don't love me, I know you're in love with the Doctor, but I …" He stopped to make sure he didn't say more than he meant to. "I mean that we can get married and say that this baby is mine and that your DNA got mutated while you were out in space or something, and that's why the baby's not completely human. And it's been this long and you're not even showing, so we probably have plenty of time even if people count the months. Then the Brig won't lecture you, and you can still go to him for help."

Sarah Jane stared at him in surprise for several moments before she could speak. "Oh John, I can't let you sacrifice yourself that way. What if I was foolish enough to say yes and then after the wedding, the woman whose ring you have on your dresser out in the shop shows up?" She shook her head. "No, that would be too much to ask of you, John, but I think you're really wonderful to be willing to do that for me."

John didn't budge. "It's not a sacrifice," he said. It occurred to him that he'd been thinking about this for some time, even as he was still trying to find out who he was. "I live here, and I have a job - two jobs - so it's only fair that I should contribute the same as you. And you've helped me, how could you think I could possibly just sit back and watch you try and do this on your own?" He could see that she still wasn't convinced. "I'll make you a deal. No strings. If we find out who I am and the mystery woman still wants me, we'll … we'll get a divorce. And if the Doctor turns up, same thing."

Sarah saw the determined look in John's eyes. This was no snap decision. "How long have you known about this, John?"

"I suspected pretty early on. Truth is," he said, looking at her tummy, "I've kind of gotten attached to the little peanut." He resisted the urge to pat her belly. "And I want to make it clear," he said quickly, "I'm just saying that we should get married for the baby. I'm not … you know … making advances or anything. I'd still sleep out in the shop, of course."

Sarah was in awe of John at that moment. Here he was, someone who had only known her for a few months, offering to give her his complete support. All this time, he had been living with her, almost sure about the fact that she was having a baby, but never saying a word about it to anyone. And now, he was even willing to marry her to save her from all the hardships of giving birth and raising her child alone.

She thought about that, and then she thought about the way he looked playing with the neighbor children. If the Doctor knew about this baby, what would he do? Would he want it? Would he reject it - and her?

She'd played these scenes out in her head dozens of times before, but she still had no idea what the results would really be. She thought she knew the Doctor better than anyone, but really how well did she know him, this man who was the father of her child? She was overwhelmed and in no condition to think. Finally she spoke. "You do understand what you're saying don't you? What you're offering me would be a marriage in name only."

"Exactly," he said. "I just … I just want to help."

Sarah Jane was so moved, and so unsure of what to do or say, that she simply put her head in her hands and cried.

John just held her. "It's all going to be all right," he said. "We can talk about it later."


	3. Chapter 3

Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart stared at the reports on his desk, not really reading them. There was something wrong at UNIT, but he couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't anything definite. Almost more of a soldier's hunch.

But he'd been around long enough to know that he shouldn't ignore it.

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><p>The next day found Sarah sitting at her kitchen window once again. Today, though, it was raining and the weather matched Sarah's mood as she sat totally absorbed in her memories …<p>

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><p>Sarah ran after the Doctor as he headed back into the TARDIS. Shivering and frozen to the bone, she caught up with him. She had his coat on and she was still cold. "I'll never be warm again. Never, ever, never."<p>

"No, we're well out of that," answered the Doctor, somehow managing not to trip over his impossibly long scarf. "Goodbye Kastria," he said as he set the TARDIS controls.

"Do you think that Eldrad... well do you think that he really is dead," asked Sarah Jane, trying to warm up her hands.

"Oh, I doubt it," said the Doctor. "Very difficult to kill."

"Well I quite liked her, but I couldn't stand him," she joked.

Just then the TARDIS jerked violently, pitching Sarah and the Doctor almost to the floor as it tilted.

"Easy old girl, easy," said the Doctor as the TARDIS righted herself. "These temperatures must have affected the thermal couplings." He started to tinker with the control panels.

"Yes, I know how she feels," agreed Sarah Jane, still shivering. "I think Kastria must be the coldest planet in the Galaxy."

"Oh rubbish," scolded the Doctor. "I've been to much colder places," he said, getting even more involved with the control panel's innards. He was so absorbed, in fact, that he barely noticed poor Sarah Jane shivering.

"Oh, big deal," snapped Sarah Jane. She couldn't tell him that all this time she was worried sick about the baby. From the moment when they landed on Earth a few days ago, she had been almost buried alive in rocks, exposed to radioactive materials and knocked about. Heaven knows what could have gone wrong, then or since four months ago when ...

And now she was freezing to death to boot. "It's alright for you, I'm human. We're not so thick skinned."

But by this time, the Doctor was completely absorbed in fixing the TARDIS. He crawled underneath it to get a better angle. Sarah had been awfully cranky lately, and he'd learned not to take offense at it. "Where's that astro rectifier?" Still, no point in ignoring her completely. "What did you say?" he asked absent-mindedly.

"Thick skinned," snapped Sarah, getting angrier by the moment.

"Oh good, good," the Doctor mumbled from underneath the panel. She wasn't actually angry at him, he thought, she was just complaining in general.

Sarah Jane walked over to him and reached into a tool box next to him. "Here," she said and handed it to him. They needed to talk. She knew she couldn't put things off any longer.

"Multifortiscope," the Doctor said, holding his hand out for it. It seemed to him that she slapped it into his hand a bit more forcefully than normal. But then, she did everything more forcefully than normal these days. Perhaps she was coming down with another case of flu. She'd certainly been plagued with it a lot lately.

She had handed it to him, but now she was getting really angry. Here she was, finally ready to get everything out in the open and she couldn't even get his attention. "You know, I might as well be talking to the moon. You don't even listen to me."

The Doctor had spotted a loose connection that could just be the problem. "Mergan Nut," he said.

"What?" Sarah was starting to boil. How dare he?

"No, no, forget the mergan nut. I'll have the ganymeade driver." He held his hand out and waited for it.

"There," she whispered as she realized he was just asking for one of his tools.

"Thank you," he said, and went right back to work. Perhaps if he could fix the thermal couplings, he could warm things up inside the TARDIS and make Sarah happy. Or at least a bit less miserable.

She was furious. How dare he ignore her at such an important moment? "Ooh, I must be mad," she said out loud to herself as she sat down next to him.

She wouldn't admit it but she was exhausted. She was also angry with the Doctor beyond words. Why couldn't he see what was wrong? How could he live with her these last few weeks and not know that she was having his child?

She had had it and she was going to really give it to him. "I'm sick of being cold, and wet, and hypnotized left, right and center. I'm sick of being shot at, savaged by bug eyed monsters. Never knowing if I'm coming or going, or being..." She was flailing her arms about in anger now.

There she goes, he thought. How many times had he heard this diatribe? He knew from experience that no amount of rationality was going to help, and that if he tried to talk to her about it, she'd just get angrier. So instead of walking into the lion's den, he kept working. "Zeus plugs," he said.

That was when she decided that he didn't even know she was angry. She was on a roll now, "Oh... I want a bath," she said wistfully. "I want my hair washed," she said, pulling at strands of her hair. "I just want to feel human again."

The Doctor in turn, decided to just let her rattle on. And anyway, he thought he'd found the problem with the TARDIS. She'd be warm soon enough. He poked his head out of the control panel and looked at her. "Forget the Zeus plug. I'll have the sonic screw driver." He reached out to her for it.

"OOHHH! And **boy**, am I sick of that sonic screw driver!" she exploded at him.

The Doctor grunted as he disappeared back under the console.

Sarah decided to shake him up. Then maybe he'd see how upset she really was. "I'm going to pack my goodies and I'm going home," she announced, waiting for him to react.

There it was, he thought, the ever present threat of going home. They both knew she didn't mean it, and in a few minutes, when everything was fixed, all would be forgotten. He grunted as he pushed on the connection at the underside of the panel, concentrating on figuring out exactly how the parts should be meshed together.

Now she was totally outraged. "I said," she yelled loudly. "I am going to pack my goodies, and I am going home," she screamed at him. He ignored her. He wasn't listening at all. She doubted that he even heard her yelling at him.

This was too much. "Right," she shouted, standing up and flouncing as hard as she could. "Excuse me," she yelled again, stepping over him. She stomped out of the room, slamming the door as loudly as she could. Maybe when he saw that she was packed and leaving him he'd start to notice her.

As he heard the door slam he looked up to where Sarah should be. "What was that you...," he looked around for her. Where did she go? "I don't know why she goes on like this. There's really nothing the matter at all." But still, he thought, it was worth the occasional tirade to have her company.

He stood up as he finished the repairs. Suddenly, he felt it with every fiber of his being, calling him home. "The call, the call from Gallifrey," he said in surprise. "Gallifrey, after all this time." His hearts started to pound. Was this it? Was this be beginning of the Time War he'd been dreading since that terrifying day he'd looked into the untempered schism at the age of eight?

What other reason could they have for calling home home? "Gallifrey... can't take Sarah to Gallifrey," he realized. Humans were strictly forbidden on Gallifrey. And anyway, if this were the beginnings of the Time War, he wanted her as far from Gallifrey as possible. "Must get her back home. Must reset the coordinates," he said, planning out loud. And yet ... he wasn't ready for his time with her to end.

His hand shook as he set the switch. "South Croyden," he said sadly, his head hanging.

Just then Sarah Jane walked back into the room. She still had his coat on. She loved the way it made her feel. It was as if his arms were around her, keeping her safe and warm.

She had her sweater and her jacket draped over her arm, a suitcase and her tennis racket in one hand and her stuffed owl and the pink geranium she had been growing in her room in the other. She'd show him. She'd give him such a scare. Not only would he give her the attention she needed, he'd be begging her to stay in no time. "Hmphh Umphh," she said loudly to get him to notice her.

He couldn't look at her. He wanted so badly to say something, anything, to let her know what she meant to him, but he knew that if he told her how he felt now... it would just be too cruel. To both of them. Better she thought him a cad. "You're a good girl Sarah," he said softly. How could he tell her he had to leave her? The words wouldn't even form in his mouth.

"Oh look, it's too late apologizing now," she started her tirade. "Everything's packed and I've got to go."

He turned to her in surprise. "How did you know," he asked her.

She blinked at him in equal surprise. This was not the way it was supposed to be. "What," she said in growing alarmed.

"I've had the call from Gallifrey," was all he said.

Sarah Jane stiffened. 'No, oh no,' she thought. He was going to leave her. "So," she asked, pretending that it didn't mean anything to them.

"So," he said sadly. He knew he'd have to say it. Out loud. Now, before he threw everything to the wind and begged her to stay, to run away with him, to hide from the coming onslaught. To be with him until ... no. It always came back to that. Until he inevitably lost her. "I can't take you with me. You've got to go."

He said it and her heart broke and fragmented with each word. She'd always dreaded this moment, always praying that it would never happen. But here it was. He was leaving her. She had to stop him somehow. She couldn't go now, not like this. Her eyes begged him not to do this to her. "Aw, come on," she said. It sounded lame even to her. "I can't miss Gallifrey."

She tried to sound hopeful. "Look, I was only joking. I didn't mean it." She looked at him to see if he was as serious as he sounded. She had to talk him into letting her stay. Then she thought about what getting called back to his home planet could mean. "Hey, you're not going to regenerate again are you?" she was worried, but tried to sound light hearted. She knew how he would hate it if she got too emotional right now.

Regeneration. If only it were that easy. "Not this time. I don't know what's going to happen," he confessed to her as she drew nearer to him. It was more of the truth than he'd meant to tell her.

She looked up at him, her eyes still begging him not to do this. "You're playing one of your jokes on me," said, trying to coax him to stop, "just trying to make me stay."

"No," he answered. Why did this have to be so damnably difficult? Why couldn't he just shake it off, as he'd done so many times before? He knew the answer, but he pushed it back. He couldn't give in to his feelings, not now, not with so much at stake. "I've received the call, and as a Time Lord, I must obey."

Her smile disappeared. She looked like a wounded deer. "Alone," she asked softly.

The word had never sounded more deadly as it did coming from her. "Yes," he whispered.

So they spent a few minutes on pleasantries, whom to say hello to, what to do next, anything but the fact that neither of them wanted this to happen.

But every passing second was agony to the Doctor. He wanted her with him forever, but failing that, the act of losing her was excruciating. Paradoxically, he wanted it to last forever, and he wanted it over, all at the same time. He wanted her to get on with her life. To be happy without him. To have that happy life he had always wanted to give her ... even if it wasn't with him.

The TARDIS groaned as it landed on what seemed to be an empty street in the middle of the day. There was no activity from the houses, just an old yellow Labrador sitting in the street sunning himself.

Sarah ignored the landing sound. "And I'll give your love to Harry, and the Brigadier," she stalled, not wanting to go. "Oh, and I can tell Professor Watson that you're alright," she said. 'There must be something I can say to get him to let me stay,' she thought to herself. 'Oh, Why can't I think of it?'

"We've landed, Sarah," the Doctor said solemnly.

"What," she said.

"We've landed," he said, his voice clipped.

"Where," was all Sarah could think to say. 'Maybe he'll make a mistake,' she thought, 'and he won't be able to take me home.'

"South Croyden," he said. "Hillview Road to be exact."

Her hopes were dashed. He did remember at least where she lived. "That's my home," she said, stunned. This was it then, it was all over and no matter how she felt, she had to leave. "Well, I'll be off then," She slowly took off his coat and handed it back to him. It was as if she were surrendering his caress. "Here," was all she could manage.

"Thanks," he answered her. The statement felt hollow, empty, inadequate. Like him.

She put her sweater on and picked up her things. She wished she had actually packed now. She was leaving so much behind that she knew she would really miss. Too late now. Too late for her things and too late for them. "Don't forget me," her eyes pleaded with his. How she longed to throw her arms around him and beg him to let her stay.

How could he ever forget her, even for a moment? If he lived to be ten thousand years old, their time together would always be the pinnacle of his life. If he survived the Time War, he realized. He could be gone before she even got old. "Oh Sarah, don't you forget me," he smiled, trying to be light in spite of what he felt.

His voice sounded like the man she had grown to love. That man who could say her name and make it feel like a caress. How could he say it that way now, when he was saying goodbye to her?

She shook her head and smiled with a bitter sweet smile. "Bye, Doctor." She turned and walked away. She couldn't bear to leave but she had no choice. And all the while, as she walked away she prayed and waited for him to call her back.

The Doctor didn't, couldn't, move. He just flipped a switch on the control panel to open the doors.

Sarah walked over to the door and stood there staring at him. Who was this heartless man? He seemed like a stranger to her at this moment. He wouldn't even look her straight in the eyes. He wasn't even going to give her a hug goodbye. After all these years and all they'd been through, he was just dismissing her. So much for being his best friend.

Every part of him longed to rush to her, to grab her up and hold her and never let her leave. And then? Nothing he could think of seemed appropriate. Probably because there was nothing appropriate, he thought. "Bye," was all he said, trying to smile, trying to convince her, or himself, or whatever cruel fate had thought this was a good idea that he was fine, when he was anything but.

"You know, " she turned to him. "Travel does broaden the mind." She let him go, giving him the out he seemed to want so desperately. For his sake, she tried to act as if nothing were wrong.

"Yes," he said, still smiling at her. Perhaps when the war was over, he could come back and ... but he knew he wouldn't. If he had to lose her, this was the best way. And yet something in him couldn't give up that hope. "Till we meet again, Sarah."

"Mmmhmm," she nodded at him. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe this is what he really wanted. No responsibility, nothing to tie him down. Best he didn't know about the baby after all. She turned and walked out the door, her heart shattered by now into a million pieces.

* * *

><p>.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Since Harry had moved out, John had been sleeping on a cot at the back of the workshop for propriety's sake, and now he stood at the back door shaking the rain off his jacket, watching Sarah. "Good morning," he finally said, toweling off his head with the bath sheet she had left by the door for him. "Feeling any better?"

Sarah Jane snapped out of her reverie and shook her head sadly. "No, must be the weather. How does that song go again? Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."

He pulled up a chair and sat next to her. "Have you given it any more thought?"

Sarah let out a quirky little laugh. "That's the problem, I can't stop thinking about it."

He was quiet for a few moments. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me John. I upset myself. All you've done is try to offer me a way to resolve my problems." She reached out and took his hand. "I'm just not certain that you've thought this through. You do realize that my baby isn't going to be completely human, don't you?"

John thought about that for a moment and tried not to shudder. "Right, so you're having an alien baby. I can deal with that. But it does beg the question ... I mean I almost hesitate to ask, but how is it... I mean, you're … that is … um … Never mind," he finally said. "That's way too personal." But still, he looked troubled.

"John if we're going to even consider getting married, you have a right to ask me anything you want."

He took a deep breath, considering whether to press forward. Finally he decided to just ask. "How did it actually … happen? Did he do some … alien thing to implant the baby or something?" He cringed a little, but Sarah wasn't sure whether it was from asking the question or dreading the answer.

"No John, it wasn't anything like that." She thought back to that strange night when everything had gotten turned upside down. "The Doctor and I, we were always … we were sort of like an old married couple," she laughed. "Not that anything ever happened, of course," she said quickly. "I'm not that kind of girl, and I don't think that he ever had that kind of thing on his mind."

"And he's an alien," John interjected.

"Yes, he's an alien," Sarah repeated. "I never thought that he even had feelings like that. Honestly, I'm still not sure."

"Well, he must have," John said. "I mean..." he trailed off, motioning towards her belly.

"That's just it," she explained. "I'd never seen him like that, not before, and not since."

"Like … what?" John asked awkwardly.

"Well," Sarah said, "it's like this. Everything was just as it always was, adventures, bug-eyed monsters, and the two of us, running around the cosmos like grown-up children.

"Then one night, I couldn't sleep, so I got up to get something to eat. I was halfway to the galley when I saw the Doctor huddled up against the wall as if he had just looked into the soul of something that was pure evil. He was terrified, but more than that, he was devastated. I've never seen anyone look the way he did, and certainly not the Doctor.

"He didn't even see me at first. Not until I bent down and asked him what was wrong. He looked so... tormented, so tortured, I just can't describe it, but I'd never seen him like that. But when he saw me, it was as if somehow my being there changed everything. He reached out and held on to me as closely as he could. It was as if … it was as if I was some sort of lifeline. And then... well..." She looked at John apologetically.

"Right," John said. "Peanut. And you never found out what it was that he'd seen?"

She shook her head. "Afterwards, we... we never even talked about it. It was as if … " She shrugged in confusion. "I don't know. If I wasn't having the baby, honestly, I would have thought it was all a dream."

"Maybe whatever that trauma was, it was so awful that he didn't want to think about it," John offered.

"I suppose. But I'm telling you this John, because I need you to understand how things were between us. I don't want you to think badly of the Doctor, or of me." She looked over at him to see his reaction to what she had said.

"Why would I think badly of either of you?"

"I'm having a baby out of wedlock, John. This may be the seventies, and people may be more open minded these days in some places, but in South Croyden, let's just say that they're much more traditional in their way of thinking."

John thought about that. "But you loved him, and you considered yourself married."

"I did, and I do, and I always will, John. Nothing is ever going to change that."

John thought about all of this. "There are two things that I'm still wondering about," he said. "The first is that you two are different species, so how is that that you were even able to conceive?"

She shrugged. "Dunno," she said. "In fact, he once told me that Gallifreyans don't even reproduce that way. He said they're sterile."

"Obviously he was wrong," John said. "But after everything, I just … well, to leave you when you're having a baby... it just doesn't make sense."

"I never told the Doctor about it once I found out that I was, as they say, 'with child'."

He crinkled his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"I did try to, but I guess he was never meant to find out." Sarah looked out the window and watched the rain pouring down in sheets. Then she told him everything about the day she decided to have it all out with the Doctor.

"So you see John, by the time I found out he had to go back to Galifrey and leave me here on Earth, it was too late." She sighed. "Too late to tell him I was carrying his child."

She crossed to the window, staring at the rain bouncing off the swing set. "Maybe that was for the best. I'm not sure how he would have reacted to the thought of me having his child." She shrugged, then laughed humorlessly as she turned back to him. "Can you imagine it, a baby in the TARDIS?"

"I don't see why it should be any different than a baby anywhere else," John said. "A baby is a baby. No matter where it is, it's a miracle."

"Of course it is John, but what are you supposed to do when you have a two month old child in your arms and some huge ugly bug-eyed monster starts chasing you so it can kill you once it has you in it's claws, or when some evil maniac bent on destroying the universe decides you're in his way?"

"I suppose that's not your normal occupational hazard," he said. "But navigating life is part of having a family, isn't it?"

Sarah laughed softly but genuinely now. "You know, you have a unique way of simplifying things in a very straightforward manner, even in the most difficult of situations. It's a rare talent John, and I hope you never lose it."

He heard her laugh and smiled, happy that he could make her feel better. "And speaking of navigating life, there's a certain question you still need to answer."


	5. Chapter 5

Sarah's eyes met his. "Before I give you my answer, is there anything else you'd like to know about me?"

He looked quizzically at her. "Such as …? I mean I already asked you yesterday to marry me."

"This is a very big step to consider taking and I really think that now is the time to get everything out in the open, as they say." She smiled at him mischievously. "After all, I know everything there is to know about you, don't I? It's only fair then that you know as much about me as possible."

"Well, you certainly know me as well as I know myself," he joked. "Um … well … I know you like sentimental music, especially if it's silly. I know you used to travel around time and space with an alien. I know you lost your parents when you were a little girl and you were raised by your Aunt who never stays in one place long enough to lick a stamp. I know you're brave and loyal and true and you'll fight for what's right no matter what the cost. You're a great cook, and a wonderful person. You have a great sense of humor, and you're … well, you're great," he finished shyly. "What else is there to know?"

Sarah listened, wondering if John's motives for wanting to marry her were just to protect her and the baby. She was concerned that John could be in love with her, and that meant he could get hurt. And yet, when she looked into his eyes, she found that she was moved by his candor and sincerity.

"Oh John," Sarah Jane said, wiping away tears. "You make me sound so amazing. Well, that or a lot like an Irish setter," she joked. "While most of those things are true, I'm afraid you have far too high an opinion of me. I couldn't possibly live up to the way you see me. I'm just a silly little human with far too much determination for her own good."

He took her hand. "What's wrong with that? I'm just a silly little human too, with maybe not quite as much determination as you've got. But that's all we can be, so really, what's wrong with it?"

She looked down at his hand holding hers, put her other hand over her stomach, and looked up at him. Maybe it was time she stopped reaching for what was beyond her and began taking stock of what was here before her. "Nothing John," she said, squeezing his hand. "There's nothing wrong with it at all. If you are really sure you want to do this, then yes, I **will** marry you. When would you like to make it official?"

John felt his heart catch just a little and tried not to grin like an idiot. "Er … well, I suppose we shouldn't wait too long, but we don't want to make it look like we were in too much of a hurry, either. I mean, if it's been six months and you're not even showing yet. The baby can't be growing that fast, so we've got some time. Have you … have you thought about who you'd like in the wedding, or where, or …"

"I think we should have a small wedding, John. It would be nice to have it in the little church not far from here where I was christened. After all," she laughed. "Neither of us has a very large guest list, now do we?"

"No," he laughed, then looked at her awkwardly. "Um … I should … er … should I ask anyone for … for your hand? Like … like the Brig, maybe, under the circumstances?"

"I don't need anyone's permission to get married John, after all this is the 70's and I'm a liberated woman."

"Well, of course you are," John said, a bit flustered. "But won't people wonder if you just run off and get married to this bloke you just met without … I dunno, without talking to anyone? I mean, I'm not talking about permission, just sort of … you know, their blessing."

"I hadn't thought of that actually, but I suppose Aunt Lavinia would be the right person to ask since she's the one that raised me. We'll have to give her a call, if I can manage to locate her. When she's traveling like this, I usually wait 'till she calls me."

"You don't think she'll … say 'no', do you?"

"Oh, she'll say yes, but not until she puts you through a thorough round of very serious questions. The most important thing is not to let her intimidate you or get the upper hand."

He nodded. "You're not making me feel better."

"Don't worry," she squeezed his hand again. "I'll coach you before you talk to her."

* * *

>It had taken three days, but Sarah Jane was finally able to track down her aunt. "Right then, remember, be firm, be polite, don't let her run roughshod on you, be clever, be confident and above all, don't take 'no' for an answer. Oh, and don't forget to be charming. Got it," Sarah Jane asked John as she stood next to him beside her telephone.<p>She might as well have told him to simply recite Webster's unabridged dictionary while riding an exercise bike upside down in a tornado, and everything would be fine. 'On reflection,' he thought, 'that might be easier.' He took a deep breath. "No, I haven't got it, but you might as well dial anyway."<p>

Sarah Jane dialed the number and as soon as she heard her Aunt answer, she started talking. "Hullo, it's me Sarah Jane. How are you then Auntie," she said using her most charming voice. "Still having a nice tour are you?"

"Other than having to deal with the complete nincompoops booking my travel, yes, thank you. I swear, I've been in the air longer than most clouds. And what about you? I seem to catch you at home more often than not these days."

"Well, if you have a moment Aunt, I have some important news for you."

"Are you going off again?" Lavinia asked warily.

"What? Oh no, nothing like that. Not at all. Uhm, you see, it's this way, you know I told you about this wonderful man I met a few months ago, the one that was injured and ended up on our doorstep?" She went on quickly, not giving her aunt time to answer. "Well, he wants to marry me. I said yes, but he feels that he should ask you first before we start making any plans. So, what do you think?" she asked as she paused to breathe.

Silence filled the line for several seconds. "I'm sorry, Sarah Jane, there seems to be some noise on the line. I thought you said you were getting married, and to someone so traditional he wanted my permission."

Sarah laughed. "No noise Auntie, that's exactly what I said."

"Are you all right, Sarah Jane?"

"Of course I am. Why would you ask me that?"

"This just doesn't sound like you." She suddenly grew worried. "Sarah Jane, are you being held against your will? Did John turn out to be a madman? Should I be calling the police?"

"No, no no," she laughed. I'm telling you that John proposed to me and I said yes. Would you like to talk to him?"

"I certainly would, but not right now. I'm catching the next plane out of here and I should be home tonight."

"But that's such a bother Aunt, you needn't cut your travels short just to meet John."

"This trip was almost over anyway, and besides, this is the perfect excuse to avoid one more grub-filled meal." Lavinia said, grimacing at the thought of being handed yet another wooden bowl full of cooked weeds and crawling insects. "Don't bother picking me up, I am perfectly capable of making my way home from the airport."

"Right, well, see you then," Sarah said, hanging up the phone. She turned to John. "She's on her way home and she'll be here tonight to talk to us," she said, stunned.

John looked at his watch and wondered how far away they could be by then.

* * *

>When Lavinia arrived home, she spotted her niece standing in the driveway next to a tall gangly man. He had a sort of lost, uncertain look about him. Sarah Jane waved enthusiastically as Lavinia climbed out of the cab, then started heading towards her, the young man following her with an almost puppy-like devotion.<p>Sarah Jane ran up to Lavinia and threw her arms around her. "I'm so glad to see you Auntie," she said, trying not to choke up.<p>

Lavinia hugged her back and said nothing for a long time. Then she looked up and said, "I assume, young man, that you are John?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, nodding respectfully.

Lavinia stuck her hand out to shake John's as Sarah broke away from her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, John."

"The pleasure is all mine," John said, shaking her hand. "Sarah's told me so much about you."

"Well I've heard about as much about you as Sarah knows," laughed Lavinia.

"Which is also about as much as I know," he said, laughing with her. "So I guess you could say I literally have nothing to hide."

"Well, as thin as you are, I don't see how you could hide much if you wanted too. I can't believe that Sarah Jane hasn't been feeding you all this time."

"Oh, goodness, she has. She's an incredible cook," he said.

"Heavens, Auntie, you won't be saying that once you see him sit down to dinner. I tell you the man is a bottomless pit, and I'm convinced those legs of his are hollow," she laughed.

"Then let's collect my luggage and go eat, shall we? I haven't even had a proper tea in months."

"I promise you a proper welcome home feast the minute we get inside," said Sarah, and true to her word, she soon loaded the table with Lavinia's favorite kinds of food. First there was salad, glazed carrots and potatoes, then Sarah brought out a huge platter of roasted beef with Yorkshire pudding. John pulled a chair out for Lavinia first and then one for Sarah Jane. Then he sat down and waited for Lavinia to take her food first.

"What's this I hear, young man?" Lavinia asked without preamble. "Did you ask my niece to marry you?"

John was a bit taken aback by the abruptness of her questioning, but tried to remember Sarah's advice. "Y-yes, ma'am. I love her very much," he said, turning his head away from Sarah with slight embarrassment, "and I would very much like her to be my wife."

Sarah heard what John said and was glad he turned his head away from her so he couldn't see the look of surprise on her face. She could feel herself blushing from head to toe. It occurred to her that as far as she knew, John was almost incapable of telling a lie. That meant that as she suspected, he did care very deeply about her.

Lavinia, however, kept a close eye on both of them. "I'm sure that you're being very sincere with me young man, and I appreciate that. I trust that you will understand if I am equally sincere with you. The truth is, I'm not one to be delicate about things, and I won't apologize for it. In fact, I'll come straight to the heart of the matter. You do realize, don't you, that she's just recently left someone she was totally in love with? Knowing that, do you really think you can make her happy?" Lavinia asked him.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm aware of what she's been through, and while I certainly can't predict the future, I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that I will do absolutely everything in my power to make her happy."

Lavinia Smith looked John square on. "And do you think she's over the Doctor yet?"


	6. Chapter 6

John looked over at Sarah for guidance for just a second, but then decided that it was "in for a penny, in for a pound," and plunged forward. "Er … no, ma'am, I don't think that she is over the Doctor. But … I understand that, and I think that she deserves to be happy even if …" He took a deep breath. "Ma'am, I am willing to love whatever part of her she's willing to give me. Regardless of whether he ever reappears or not, I think she deserves to be happy, and I'd like to try and make that happen."

Sarah Jane wished she could melt into the floor at this point. She had not expected her Aunt to take this route, but she realized that knowing her, she should have known this could happen. What was she thinking letting John talk to Aunt Lavinia? She debated whether or not to jump into the conversation, but she knew that if she did, it could make things even worse.

"I admire you for that, John," said Lavinia. "My instincts tell me that you're very good for Sarah Jane. Personally, I've never felt that the Doctor was the best choice for her, and she does deserve the best. But then you know that, don't you?"

John remembered Sarah mentioning that everyone she knew seemed to be angry with the Doctor these days, but while he was still ambiguous on that point, there was one thing he could agree with her about. "I feel the same way, ma'am. She does deserve the best."

"Good, now if you please, I'd like to have a word with my niece, John," she said kindly.

"Thank you, ma'am," John said, letting out the breath he'd been holding.

Sarah turned back to her aunt. "Alright then, if you want to talk to me Auntie, then let's have it," she said, preparing to have to hold her ground.

"I certainly do," said Lavinia. "What's at the bottom of all this? This man obviously loves you, but this is not like you at all, Sarah Jane. I know you're not in love with him, so why do you want to marry John?"

Sarah gulped, glad that she and John had come to an understanding about their relationship. Otherwise, her aunt's bluntness probably would have crushed him. She knew she couldn't lie to her Aunt. "John is a wonderful man and I really care very deeply about him," she said, almost defiantly. "Besides, I need to get on with my life. I can't wait around forever for someone who may or may not love me or ever come back into my life. You told me that yourself, didn't you? So you should be pleased that I've taken your advice."

Lavinia's voice grew soft and concerned. "Sarah dear, what's wrong, won't you please tell me?"

Sarah Jane looked at her aunt and felt her defenses start to crumble. She couldn't lie to her, and she knew Lavinia sensed that something was seriously wrong. Sarah sighed as she let her guard down, putting her head in her hands as if she were a schoolgirl again. "I'm having a baby Auntie," she sobbed. It wasn't shame she felt, but relief. She hated keeping anything from Lavinia, and up until this moment, she hadn't realized how much she wanted her there to hold and comfort her.

Lavinia got up quietly and put her arms around Sarah Jane. She didn't say a word. Now was not a time for talking; this was a time to soothe. She stroked Sarah Jane's hair and rocked her gently. "There there dear, just let it out. Don't you fret, I'm here now, and we'll find a way to fix it. This will all keep for now. We'll talk about it tomorrow after you've had a good night's sleep."

John watched Sarah and her Aunt, unsure what to do. He'd gotten used to being the one who held Sarah as she cried, but now Lavinia was here. On the other hand, he was grateful that she had someone to take care of her like that; all he really wanted was for her to feel better.

"Oh Auntie, I've made such a mess of my life," Sarah sobbed into her shoulder.

"My poor dear child," said Lavinia. "How long have you been keeping this to yourself? Didn't you know that I'd support you and that I'd want to help you all I can? I assume, John, that you knew about this, and that's why you asked her to marry you?"

"Yes Aunt, John knows and that is the reason he proposed to me," Sarah answered before he could say anything. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I've known for several months now but I foolishly thought I could handle it all by myself."

"Sarah Jane Smith," chided her Aunt gently. "You need your family with you at a time like this." Lavinia may have been a crusty old bird, but she loved Sarah Jane as the child she never had. "There, there now, let's say our good nights and I'll get you up to bed."

Sarah nodded and let Lavinia lead her up the steps. She was half way up when she turned to John. "Good night John," she said through her tears.

"Good night," John said, watching her go upstairs. He was glad she had Lavinia; he didn't want her to be alone right now. But as he put away the food and headed back out to the workshop, it occurred to him that they still didn't have Lavinia's blessing.

* * *

><p>The next morning, as he came back into the house, John was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He told himself that everything was fine, that of course Lavinia wouldn't have any objections to Sarah Jane marrying him. But there was a tiny part of him that was still worried because she hadn't said so last night. That said, he pushed it to the back of his head, knowing that the time simply hadn't been right.<p>

"Good morning," he said to Sarah, who was putting the finishing touches on breakfast. "Are you ... feeling better?"

"Somewhat, thank you," she said, but before she could elaborate, Lavinia came down the stairs.

John pulled her chair out for her.

"Well Sarah Jane," said Lavinia as they were all seated. "His manners are much better than those of your friend Doctor Sullivan. At the very least, he doesn't cover everything he eats with hot sauce."

John laughed in spite of himself. "Obviously," he said, "you've met him."

"On numerous occasions," said Lavinia. "He always seems to put a foot in it whenever he's around, too."

"Oh Aunt, come on, you know you make him nervous. He's been that way around you ever since you threatened to box his ears for calling you 'Old Girl' by accident," Sarah laughed.

John didn't know whether to laugh or get even more nervous. "He means well," he finally said. "It's just habit."

"Yes I know, he calls everyone old something," answered Lavinia. "I've taken to calling him 'Old Boot'. He falls all over himself whenever I call him that. It's good for him, makes him remember himself when he talks to me."

Now John did laugh, and heartily. "I love that. Do you mind if I use it?"

"Not at all, John, in fact, I think everyone should call him that. Perhaps it would break him of the habit entirely."

"Oh, I should think it would take an act of God to do that," John said. "And anyway, I suppose we shouldn't complain too much. He's a bit … er … well, he's a good man, anyway."

Just then there was a knock at Sarah's front door.

Sarah Jane turned to him. "Could you please get that, John?"

"Certainly," John said, and strode to the door. "Talking of the devil," he said, opening the door and seeing Harry on the doorstep. "We were just talking about you, Old Boot."

Harry's face went ashen as he grabbed John by the shoulder. "Good lord, don't tell me Sarah's Aunt Lavinia is here."

John almost choked, and motioned for him to come in.

Harry followed John as quietly as he could into the dining room. "Good morning Miss Smith," he said, nodding politely at Lavinia. "I trust you had a pleasant journey home?"

"Not really," said Lavinia, "but being home is pleasant enough to make up for the discomforts of traveling."

"Won't you join us for breakfast, Harry," asked Sarah, standing up. "There's plenty of food here, I'll just pop into the kitchen and get some for you."

"I'd … love to," he said, forcing a smile and pulling out a chair. "Thank you."

Lavina took a sip of her tea and smiled wickedly at Harry. She watched him squirm for a few moments, then turned and winked at John. "How are you, Old Boot?" she said, turning back to Harry. "Well I hope."

John tried not to smile too much; outside of Sarah, Harry was his best friend, after all.

"I'm fairly well, thank you," Harry said. "Work's been piling up a bit, but that's to be expected."

Sarah came back in with a cup and saucer for Harry in one hand and a plate of toast, bacon and eggs in the other. She set both in front of Harry. "There you are," she said, sitting back down. "To what do we owe the pleasure, Harry?"

"Business, though I'm afraid I jumped on the excuse to visit on my way into work," he said. "The Brigadier wanted me to let you know he has a project for you, John, if you have some time."

John looked over at Sarah Jane.

Sarah shrugged at him. "It's your call, John. If you feel you have the time and you really want to do it, then by all means say 'yes.' Just remember though, you're not obligated to accept anything."

"Right," John said. "I've got some time this morning, nothing urgent in the fix-it shop. I'll be happy to." He turned to Lavinia. "That is if you won't be needing me here. That is, if you think we'll be finished talking. I mean, if you, er..." He looked helplessly at Sarah for assistance.

Sarah shook her head dotingly at him and smiled. "It's all right John, no need to get flustered. I'm sure Auntie won't mind and I'd love to have some time alone with her anyway. She'll have plenty of time to get to know you while she's here."

"Of course John," Lavinia chimed in. "By all means go to work if you need to. I have no wish to interfere with your life or Sarah Jane's. Just proceed as if I'm not here. After all, this is my home and I can manage by myself in it quite well, thank you."

"I just meant that … um …" He glanced over at Harry, who had no idea what he needed so badly to discuss with Lavinia. "I suppose it can wait."

Sarah reached over to John and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and held on to it. "Yes dear, it can wait for now."

Harry didn't miss the gesture. He didn't much like it, either. 'Dear?' Over the last two months John had become one of his best friends, but this was a development that definitely bothered him.

Perhaps it was time they had words.


	7. Chapter 7

John tidied up the desk in his workshop and set the "Closed" sign in place, taping to it a note that read, "Sorry, I am out for the day. Please leave any items for repair at the house, or come see me tomorrow. Thank you, John".

As he fumbled in his pocket for the key to the padlock that was the shed's only security, he felt a tug on his pants leg. He looked down to see six-year-old Freddie, his grandmother standing at the gate, smiling at him. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Warner, but I've got to be away from the shop today. You're welcome to leave something here and I'll have a look in the morning, if you like."

Before she could answer, Freddie said, "Where are you going?"

John knelt down so he was eye-to-eye with the child. "I can't tell you," he said.

"Is it a secret mission?" Freddie said seriously.

"Yes," John said, just as seriously. "I'm off on a secret mission. So you mustn't tell anyone." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a butterscotch candy and handed it to him. "And what's the rule?"

"Ask gran first," Freddie repeated stoically.

"Good boy," John said, and sent him off to his grandmother. "He's welcome to play on the swings, if you like," he told her.

"Thanks ever so much Mr. Doe, that's very kind of you. I'll just come back tomorrow with my wireless. Say thank you to Mr. Doe first for the sweet, then you can go play for a few minutes," she told her grandson. "After that it's back home for us, Freddie." She turned to John. "And you have a good day. I hope your mission goes well for you," she smiled.

"Thanks," said Freddie quickly, then ran to the swing set to play.

"Thank you, Mrs. Warner," John said, and finally found the key amongst the candy in his pocket.

Just then Harry came out to talk to him. "We can take my car if you like, John. I'll be happy to give you a ride back as well."

"That's mighty decent of you, Harry, thanks," John said, and after saying his goodbyes to Sarah and Lavinia, headed out to Harry's car with him.

Harry waited until they had pulled put of the drive and headed down the street. He turned to John, still keeping an eye on the road. "You know, old boy, I've come to look on you as a rather good friend since you landed on Sarah Jane's doorstep."

John got an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Well, that's good, Harry, because I feel the same way about you. In fact, I was just thinking a little while ago that other than Sarah, you're the best friend I've got in the world."

"Well then, as one friend to another, I feel I have the right to ask you this. Just what exactly is going on between you and Sarah Jane?"

It was, of course, the one place he had been hoping Harry wouldn't go. "Why do you ask?"

"For starters, what about that little scene over breakfast?" Harry knew he sounded cold, but he couldn't help it.

"You mean with Lavinia?" John asked hopefully. No sense admitting something before he had to.

"Come on John, no dancing about here. You know precisely what I'm talking about, don't you '**dear**'?"

John swallowed and took a deep breath. "You're not happy about that," he said.

"Why should I be?" Harry blasted, working himself toward a full head of steam. "Sarah was kind enough to take you into her home when it would have been easier and perhaps better for her to just walk away and leave you. But she's a very kind and compassionate woman, as you well know. She's also very vulnerable right now and I think it's best if you don't take advantage of her, John. After all, she hardly knows you. Point of fact, **you** don't even know who you are."

John would have been offended at the idea that this man who was supposed to be his best friend thought he was capable of taking advantage of anyone, let alone Sarah, if he hadn't still been reeling from the sucker-punch at the beginning of his diatribe. "Stop the car," he said quietly.

Harry pulled the car to the curb and turned off the ignition. He turned around to face John, putting a hand on his arm to keep him from getting out of the car. When he saw the stricken look on John's face, the words he'd been about to say wouldn't come out of his mouth. Finally, after a few moments, he spoke. "Don't go yet, John. I think we need to finish this. I promise to try and stay calm."

John hoped that Sarah had been exaggerating when she'd said that every emotion he had showed on his face, because he didn't want Harry to see how devastated he was. He nodded slightly.

Harry tried to reign in his hurt and frustration. "John, I don't blame you for having feelings for Sarah. Practically every man at UNIT at one time or another has fallen for her. The plain truth is, I love her too, and I was hoping that now that she was back home to live, she might finally give me a chance to prove to her how very much I love her."

Harry sighed. "However, if you remember, I told you at the hospital that first night we met that it wasn't me she loves. She's always made it quite clear to everyone - at least until now - that the only man she will ever love is the Doctor. But he's an alien. He doesn't have the same emotions we humans have, even though he looks like one of us."

He slammed his hand in anger on the dashboard. "When he brought Sarah back to Earth, she was devastated. She's been pining away for him for months and I'm sure she's realized by now that he's not coming back for her, no matter what she tells herself. She's heartbroken and most likely feeling abandoned and unloved as well. So you see, as I said, she's quite vulnerable right now."

Harry shook his finger at John, as if he were schoolmaster scolding an errant child. "Then you come long and you're a nice enough chap. Friendly, helpful, mildly attractive, attentive, naturally she appreciates your kindness towards her, and perhaps she's found something about you that serves as a temporary way to heal the pain. But it won't work. These rebound things never do." Harry searched John's eyes to see if he understood, but John was strangely unreadable. "Are you getting any of this at all, John," he asked him.

John took it all in. It wasn't anything he didn't already know, but it seemed that Harry didn't even understand what he'd said. "You think it would have been better if Sarah had never taken me in," he repeated, barely audibly.

Harry put his head down and rubbed his eyes wearily. He'd been so wrapped up in his feelings for Sarah Jane and her rejection of him that he hadn't even realized what he'd said. "Of course I don't feel that way, John, and I am so sorry if I said that. I was sort of in a jealous rage and not thinking very clearly. Please forgive me. It won't happen again."

John listened to his apology, but it wasn't that simple. Without a past, he constructed reality very carefully from the limited information he had. "But you said it, you must have been thinking it on some level," John said. It was as though Harry had pulled out an important support holding up his understanding of the world, and now he didn't know what to think.

Harry sighed yet again. "No John, I wasn't thinking that at all. Most people say a lot of things they don't mean when they're angry or upset. I'm just frustrated because I'd give anything if Sarah had even an inkling of romantic feelings towards me. I've been trying to get her to care for me that way for years. With the Doctor out of the picture, I was beginning to think I stood a chance."

For a moment Harry looked as if he might cry. "I love her John, always have, but I know now that she'll never love me." He looked hard into John's eyes. "But I have to admit, if I have to lose her to someone, I'd rather it were you and not the Doctor." He held out his hand. "Forgive me, old man?"

John tentatively took his friend's hand and shook it. He and Sarah hadn't even announced their engagement, and already he felt like a fraud, with Harry thinking Sarah really loved him, and not the Doctor. "It's … it's all right, Harry. I understand. She's … she's wonderful, how could you not love her?"

Harry shook his hand and smiled. "I'm glad to see we both think alike, dear boy. I suppose it's for the best that she got her heart broken by the Doctor. He was never right for her anyway. Don't know why, but he never appreciated her the way he should have. He lost a real treasure when he let her go. If it's you she really cares about now, just make sure you take good care of her. You'll have half of UNIT after you if you don't," he said, forcing a smile.

John nodded. "Don't worry, I definitely plan on taking wonderful care of her. As you say, she's a treasure," he said. But as Harry pulled back into traffic, each carefully avoiding the other's gaze, John couldn't help thinking about what he'd said. He'd been hearing things about this Doctor fellow since the day he'd arrived, and something about them always seemed to ring false in his ears. He was sure there was somehow more to this story that anyone was willing to tell him.

Or perhaps more than anyone knew.


	8. Chapter 8

Quick note: Happy Birthday, Suz!

* * *

><p>Sarah Jane sat at the table across from her aunt wondering how many times had they been like this, talking over her problems. When she was a little girl her problems were skinned knees and teasing boys. As a teenager, her problems were mostly about her friends and their lives and which college to go to. She never imagined while she was growing up that that not only would she be sitting here telling her aunt how she had totally messed up her life, but that she would be having a baby who's father had left her.<p>

"So let's forget that this is you we're talking about, " said Lavinia. "What would you tell your best friend if she came to you with this problem?"

Sarah thought for several moments. "I'd tell her to put her child first and treat the man who's good enough to love her and her child with as much love and respect as she can possibly give him."

"But is it love that he's offering you, or does he just feel like he owes you something?"

"Auntie, I'm not trying to be conceited, but have you noticed how well he treats me? It's more than gratitude, I'm sure of it. Besides, John told you he loves me and if there's one thing I know about John, it's that he's incapable of lying. He's also told me that he really cares for the baby too. Trust me, he's going to make a wonderful father for him or her."

"How can you know that? You barely know him. **He** barely knows him," Lavinia added.

"You're right," Sarah agreed, "he doesn't know much about himself, but he's been living here for a couple of months now and in all that time he's had plenty of opportunities to take advantage. He could have robbed me, killed me, or worse. Instead he's been consistently kind and gentle. When aliens tried to invade the earth, he could have gotten killed for just being with me. He was terrified the whole time, but he stood by me, protected me and helped me. If someone risks his life to stay by your side, that justifies having faith in him, don't you think?"

Lavinia looked at her niece for long moments. "He knows, then, that this baby may be an alien," she said. "And he understands what that could mean for both of you?"

"The baby has two hearts," Sarah said flatly. "I confirmed that before I left the TARDIS. John knows that too. In fact, he's even come up with a reason I can give the Brig without telling him who the baby's real father is. He thinks I can just chalk it up to the fact that I did so much time traveling with the Doctor, and it might have affected my DNA. It's bending the truth a bit, but actually, it's not really a lie."

"That may be true, but still, it's a bit of a stretch," Lavinia said. "I know I wouldn't believe it."

Sarah Jane bit her lip. "Well it needs a bit of work, but it's all we have right now. We simply have to think of a way to make it sound more convincing, that's all."

"Well if you're right and John can't lie," Lavinia said, "you'd better pray that the Brigadier doesn't ask him about it."

* * *

><p>John sat staring at the small metal box the Brigadier had brought him in to investigate. As UNIT's Xenotechnology Specialist, his mandate was to analyze and determine the purpose and use of any alien technology that the organization didn't recognize.<p>

The box definitely looked alien; that much was obvious, and that's why he'd been called. But there was something about it that was inconsistent. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

He stared at it some more, then took out a metal stylus and began probing promising locations in the casing. After a few moments, he heard a soft "hiss" and the sides folded down, exposing the box's innards. He rubbed his hands together and began studying the components inside.

Just over three hours later, he scooped up the box and it's components and headed to the Brigadier's office. A few moments after that, he was ushered into the office. "I've got it figured out," he said.

"Already? My heavens, that's impressive," said the Brigadier. "What is it then?"

"It's a recorder. Well, actually it's the recording component of a larger system. What looked like a metal box isn't actually a box at all, it's the conductors that bring the signal into and out of these parts." He spread everything out on the Brigadier's desk and started pointing to oddly shaped brown and green components. "And it's definitely alien. That is, most of it."

The Brigadiers eyebrows went up as he realized what John was saying. "**Mostly** alien?"

"Yes," John said. "All but this piece here." With a small metal probe, he lifted a soft green gelsac so the Brigadier could see a microchip beneath it. "That is a variant of the Franan 581 chip. Definitely terrestrial, and with modifications that are almost definitely English." He waited for the Brigadier to take it in.

"And may I ask Do...," he stopped himself and eyed John suspiciously. "May I ask, Mr. Doe, how someone who doesn't remember farther back than a few weeks ago has that kind of knowledge about military electronic components?"

John didn't take the suspicion personally. "I never said military, Brigadier," he said. "But now that you mention it, do you remember when you had me come in a couple of weeks ago to look at that malfunctioning radio? The one you said came from a classified source? Well, that one also had these two pins here switched around. If I were a betting man, I'd say this came from the same source."

The Brigadier smiled crookedly. "Well done, Mr. Doe. Very clever of you to pick up on that little detail. Is there anything else you can tell me about it?"

"Yes," he said. "It was recording when you handed it to me."

In this case, the Brigadier wasn't all that surprised. For the past several weeks, he'd had a not altogether unhealthy suspicion that somewhere within UNIT there was a leak of some kind. It wasn't anything he could put his finger on, but lately it seemed as though UNIT could hardly make a move without someone - usually, but not always a harmless member of the press - knowing about it first. "Can you tell if it was merely recording or was it transmitting as well?"

"Oh, I shouldn't think it was transmitting," John said. "Independently of the overall system, it's barely got enough power to record, and in any case, I don't see any means for it. I did put a stop to the recording, though, I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not, I would have told you to stop it if you hadn't." So if the device wasn't transmitting, there was a human part of the puzzle getting the information out.

The Brigadier had no doubt that if they questioned the staff, nobody would remember anything; that had been the way of it. Every time there was a strange occurrence, nobody remembered a thing, and it had been beginning to eat at him. They were definitely going to have to delve deeper into this.

He let his mind wander for a moment. What if all of this mysterious "memory loss" was somehow related to the man sitting in front of him? Supposing that John Doe was the Doctor, and someone had managed to take his memory, how had they turned him into a human? And if they could do all that, why let him go and drop him on Sarah Jane Smith's doorstep? Or perhaps they didn't; he'd been wounded when they found him. What if he'd escaped from someone or something and somehow found his way there?

All of this would account for their inability to find an identity for him; if he was the Doctor, there simply wouldn't be one.

But was he safe there, or was someone still looking for him? As angry as the Brigadier - and everyone else who knew her - had been at the Doctor's treatment of Sarah Jane, he was still a friend, and the Brigadier didn't want anything to happen to him.

He studied the man he was now more sure than ever was the Doctor. "Are you certain you wouldn't like to work here full time? We could make it well worth your time and effort, Mr. Doe."

"Oh, no, no, I couldn't do that," John said, pushing himself away from the desk. "You're already quite generous, and I have Sarah Jane and the fix-it shop to think about. I need to be at home."

"I fail to see what your little fix-it shop can offer you that UNIT can't, and..." He stopped short. "What do you mean you have Miss Smith to think about," he demanded. "What's going on between you two?"

John looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Sir?" he croaked.

"You heard me, young man," the Brig said sounding more forceful than he meant to. "I demand that you tell me what sort of relationship you're having with Miss Smith."

John swallowed hard. "I've … er … I've asked her to marry me."

"What," was all the Brigadier could manage to sputter.

"I mean, she hasn't said yes, not officially," John said quickly, "because I thought we should ask her aunt for her blessing, but she's just come back from abroad and we were having breakfast when Harry came by to ask if I could come in and then we were joking about calling him Old Boot and -"

"Stop right there," shouted the Brigadier.

John shut up immediately, like a child being stared down by the principal.

"That's better. Now, what I want to know is exactly what has been going on between the two of you? I told Doctor Sullivan that he should have stayed on there longer than he did. He never should have left the two of you alone in that house."

John looked horrified. "Brigadier, I promise you that absolutely nothing untoward has been going on between Sarah Jane and I. I don't even even sleep in the house, I've got a cot in the fix-it shop out in the garden!"

"A cot? In the fix-it shop? Do you mean to say that she's allowing you to sleep in a cot outside in a shed and not in the house? That doesn't sound like Miss Smith at all."

"I'm afraid I insisted, Brigadier. There's already way too much gossip around the neighborhood, and I wouldn't want to do anything that would besmirch her reputation," John said. "It's the least I can do. She does make me come in if gets too cold," he added. "I don't trust the electrical enough to run a heater, and I haven't had a chance to rip it out and start over."

The Brigadier half laughed, half sighed. He supposed that it was inevitable for them to be drawn to each other. "Well then, how did you two manage to fall in love. You are in love, aren't you," he asked.

John felt some of the tension leave him and he smiled. "Oh yes sir," he said. "I am very definitely in love with Sarah Jane." Here he was on comfortable ground; it was, after all, the absolute truth.


	9. Chapter 9

"And Miss Smith," the Brigadier asked, "does she love you?"

And there he was, back on shakier ground. "Well, sir, I should hope so. She did say yes."

"I see, and you say her aunt is there with her now. What does she think of all this?" The Brigadier scrutinized him carefully.

"She hasn't said no," John said, "but she just got in last night, and we hadn't had a chance to talk to her yet when I came in here." He paused. "You … don't have any objections, do you, sir? I know Sarah Jane values your opinion very highly, and I do as well." He waited for an answer.

"I want her to be happy Mr. Doe, and if that means marrying you, then I heartily approve. I trust you know about the man she cared for before she met you? It hasn't been that long ago, you know, and he hurt her very badly."

There it was again, John thought. People talking about the Doctor and how he hurt Sarah. "Yes, sir, I know about that. We've … discussed it."

"You must admit that she seems to have become involved with you rather quickly. The news of your marriage will come as quite a shock to her friends."

"Well, sir, they say that people who go through stressful situations together often find that it creates a sort of bond. I'd say that being kidnapped and almost killed by aliens does rather fit that bill."

"Yes, well, I'm certain that it contributed a great deal towards bringing the two of you closer. But then encountering aliens is old hat to our Miss Smith, so I'm sure she was quite capable of handling herself. I trust you know that you may have to deal with that sort of thing quite frequently now."

"Actually, sir, that's part of the reason I don't want to work here full time. It may be old hat to Sarah Jane, but it's new to me, and once is definitely enough."

* * *

>The Brigadier watched "John Doe" leave his office, and thought about these new developments.<p>So the two of them were in love. All evidence to the contrary, he still couldn't shake the feeling that John Doe was the Doctor, and that would explain why the two of them had been drawn to each other so quickly. After all, Sarah Jane, at least, was still the same woman who'd traveled with the Doctor for all that time. It made sense that at a subconscious level at least he'd have feelings for her.<p>

Of course, he could be completely wrong. He'd purposely put down the Doctor to Mister Doe, just to get a reaction out of him, and what he'd seen hadn't been what he'd expected at all. Not agreement, as one might expect from a rival suitor, nor defensiveness as one might expect from the man himself. Instead, it was more... confusion than anything else.

And there was one more thing to consider. He himself had once proposed to Sarah Jane, and Sullivan, having lived with the couple, was no doubt aware of the growing situation there. But there was one more member of his staff who was going to be extremely disappointed, and he wanted to make sure that the news was broken gently. "Benton," he said into the intercom, "would you come in here for a moment?"

Benton entered, saluted and stood at attention. "You wanted me, Sir?"

"At ease, Mister Benton. Have a seat." This wasn't going to be easy.

Benton sat and waited. It was unusual for the Brig to call him in like this and he was sure that whatever he was about to be told, it was going to be something curious.

"I'm sure you're aware that I've just had Mister Doe in here."

"Yes sir, I just saw him leave," Benton replied.

"Yes, well, there are two items about which I'd like to bring you up to speed. First, you are, of course, aware that lately our activities seem to be more … public than usual."

"Yes, and I assure you that we are looking into that as thoroughly as possible."

"Of course, Mister Benton, I wasn't doubting your efforts. But Mister Doe has brought it to my attention that the small metal box we've been puzzling over is a listening device. He says that it hasn't been transmitting, just recording, but that means that someone on the inside must be involved in getting the information out."

"If there hadn't been so many people on base who seem to be having memory problems lately, I'd say that's impossible, but given the current situation, sir, I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that the two are connected."

"Neither would I. And speaking of memory problems, there is Mister Doe himself."

Benton considered that for a moment. "That does put things in a different light, doesn't it? It could well be that his amnesia has something to do with what's been going on with the other UNIT personnel. Would you like me to check into that, sir?"

"It's certainly worth checking into, but I'm afraid it's not why I brought him up," the Brigadier said. He took a deep breath. "You like him, don't you," he said. "He's a good man."

"Oh yes, sir," Benton smiled. "I like him quite a bit. I'd say he's a very good person and an all round pleasant chap. He seems to be able to get along with everyone. Haven't heard anybody say anything negative about him yet."

"Well, I'm very glad to hear that. Because it seems our Miss Smith is taken with him as well." He waited for a reaction.

"I'm sure that she likes him well enough, sir, but you know how she feels about the Doctor." Benton sighed. "No one else stands a chance with her."

"I'm afraid that that no longer appears to be true."

Benton looked at his commanding officer with disbelief. "Do you mean to say that Miss Smith and Mr. Doe...? Surely you must be mistaken, sir."

"I'm afraid not, Mister Benton. According to Mister Doe, he has proposed, and pending her Aunt's approval, she has accepted." He waited for a reaction.

Benton was speechless for a few moments. It was one thing to lose her to the Doctor, but for Sarah Jane to fall in love with someone like John Doe, that, he just couldn't believe. For her to marry a skinny, timid man with a nice enough personality, but so unlike the Doctor, how could that be? He shook his head, something was not right. "I'm afraid I don't understand that at all, sir."

It wasn't the reaction the Brigadier had been expecting. "Why not?"

"Well, look at him, sir, I mean he is a nice enough fellow, but the Doctor is a tall heroic chap, he takes delight in dealing with one adventure after the other. That's one of the very things that Miss Smith adores about him. I rather think she misses traveling with him almost as much as she misses the man himself. To chuck that all in and settle down to an ordinary life, it's out of the question for her." Suddenly he had a thought. "You don't suppose someone has tampered with her mind too, do you?" he asked, almost hopefully.

The Brigadier tried not to chuckle. "I suppose anything is possible, Mister Benton, but I'm afraid that's probably the least likely explanation." He didn't tell Benton about his suspicions. It was something he kept strictly to himself. But Benton did seem to be handling events reasonably well under the circumstances, so it was time to get back to work. "In the meantime, it seems that the device we found yesterday comes from the same source as that radio did, so there's definitely something afoot. Now kindly get down to the medical wing and let Sullivan know to be on the lookout for any correlations between staff memory issues and what we know about Mister Doe."

Benton walked down the corridor to the medical wing, turning things over in his mind. Something very odd was going on with UNIT's staff, and if it continued, at some point, everyone was going to be suspicious of everyone else. Moreover, one could start being unsure of oneself. As far as he could tell after interviewing the affected personnel, there was no way of telling if you were affected by whatever was going on or not. He had a bad feeling that things could get ugly very quickly if this wasn't resolved soon, and he didn't like it one bit.

* * *

>When he got home, John peeked in the back door, hoping to get a private moment with Sarah. He spied her sitting in her favorite chair working intently and snuck over to her as quietly as he could. "Are we alone?" he whispered.<p>Sarah Jane nearly jumped out of her skin. "Oh John, don't ever do that again," she half laughed, half scolded at him. "Yes we're alone, Auntie went shopping a short while ago. She'll be gone for hours."<p>

John sat down across from her. "I think maybe we're moving forward just in time," he said without preamble.

"Why? What's happened," she said, concerned.

"Both Harry and the Brig asked me what's going on between us. I had to tell the Brig I proposed," he said sheepishly.

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. "Well that's alright. After all, you were being honest weren't you? What did he say when you told him?"

"He said he thought it would be a shock to your friends, since we haven't known each other very long. Then he mentioned the Doctor."

Sarah stiffened. "What did he say about him?"

"Just that he hurt you, and that nobody wanted to see that happen again. I agreed. He and Harry both seem to feel that if marrying me makes you happy, they're for it." He neglected to discuss the rest of his conversation with Harry, or the tension in the car during the ride home with him.

Sarah smiled. "Well, it's not like we needed their approval, but still, it is nice, to have isn't it?"

"It would certainly make everything else easier," he said.

Sarah rubbed her stomach and gave John a crooked smile. "Speaking of everything else, we'll have to set a date soon. You know you've committed yourself now, don't you John? If you want to back out, you'll have to be quick about it. It's still not too late though, you know."

"Not a chance," he said, smiling back at her.

"John," she said, edging closer to him shyly. "I hope I don't have to tell you that I'm very fond of you and I would even say I'm somewhat attached to you, but Auntie and I were talking today and she seems to feel that it's not fair to either of us to get married because I'm not over the Doctor yet." She reached out to him and he took her hand, holding it gently. "You do understand that I might never get over him, don't you, John?"

He squeezed her hand, trying to decide how to answer her. "Sarah," he finally said, just letting the words come, "I know that you love him, and that you'll always love him. I would never try to get between the two of you. But if there's …. if there's even just a little piece of you left over for me, well, that's more of you than I ever hoped to have." He looked at her, waiting for a reaction.

A tear fell slowly down Sarah Jane's cheek. It was followed by another, then another. She cried softly and held her arms open to him. "That's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me, John. I promise you that I'll give you as much of myself as I can."

Once again he took her in his arms and held her. The Doctor didn't know what he was missing, he thought to himself.


	10. Chapter 10

Two hours later, when Lavinia returned home, Sarah Jane had gone upstairs to take a nap, and John was reading the newspaper. "Is anyone here?" Lavinia called out as she entered the back door. "I could use a hand with my purchases."

John jumped up and ran to the back door. "I'll take that," he whispered as he gently took the bags from her arms. "Sarah's asleep."

"Thank you," she whispered back at him. "You take these, I'll go and get the rest of my things from the boot."

John took the bags and quietly brought them up to Lavinia's room, then headed back to the stairs, only to encounter her halfway down.

After months in the bush, her arms were loaded down with boxes and bags from various stores. She looked up at him as he met her. "Well? Move or help me, young man. These things are heavy."

He took as many of the heavier looking boxes as he could, then went back up the steps and got out of her way.

"That's much better," smiled Lavinia. "Thank you again," she said softly. Once everything was in her room she motioned for John to follow her, then didn't turn around until she sat down on the glider on the back porch. "I'm afraid I'm used to giving orders, John," she said as she patted the seat next to her. "Please sit down, I'd like to talk to you before my niece wakes up."

John steeled himself and sat down. One last hurdle. He could do it, he reminded himself. He could do it for Sarah's sake.

"Do I frighten you, John," she said, giving him a look that was clearly a challenge.

John swallowed. "A little bit, ma'am, yes you do."

"Good, I like a man who's not afraid to admit he's intimidated by a woman. Don't worry, I promise not to give you a hard time. All I want from you is a few answers, nothing more."

John nodded.

"I hope you don't mind if I'm very blunt, John, but how much thought have you given to what you're letting yourself in for by marrying Sarah Jane?"

John considered his answer. "I've given it a lot of thought, Miss Smith," John said respectfully. "I know that it's a lot of responsibility, but I think that she and the baby are worth it."

"Are you marrying her out of gratitude or something else?"

John blushed. "I'm afraid that I'm in love with her," he said. "Though I am of course grateful for everything she's done for me."

Lavinia's face softened a little. "You realize of course that she's a handful, and, well, let's just say that any child that has Sarah Jane and the Doctor for parents is definitely going to be a tail twister."

He grimaced a little. "Honestly, I hadn't thought about that. I suppose you're right, but there's nothing to be done about it now, the little one's already in there."

"Well that's quite true, but there's no need for you to sacrifice yourself, you know. After all, this is Sarah Jane's mess, why should you have to pay the price for her mistakes?"

He looked confused. "Pay the price? But … Dr. Smith, I don't think you understand. I love Sarah Jane, and I want her to be happy. I'm not marrying her because she's got a problem, I'm marrying her because I love her. Now maybe that problem is the only reason she's said 'yes', but frankly, all that does is change things so that it's **our **problem rather than just hers."

"Don't you think that Sarah Jane was a fool to let the Doctor take advantage of her the way he did? Look at what it got her. She's going to have to spend the rest of he life paying for her little fling and the man that's responsible for it is letting someone else pay the price for his fun while he's free to gad about the universe without a care in the world."

There it was again. "Now listen here," John said firmly, standing to face Lavinia full on. "Ever since I got here, I've been listening to people talk about the Doctor and how he's hurt Sarah Jane. Now I don't know what happened between them, and I'm probably never going to know. But Sarah's a pretty good judge of character, and I can't believe that she'd love someone who's as awful as every one's trying to make him sound.

"I know, deep down in my heart of hearts, that he's a good man, and that's why she loves him. And Sarah's a good woman, and the two of them must have really loved each other for this to have happened, because I can't see either one of them just having a fling.

"Now I don't know why he didn't come back," he continued, "but I'm sure there must be a very good reason. So now it's up to the people who love Sarah to take care of her and her child, and that's what I intend to do," he said, taking a deep breath and waiting for her response.

Lavinia smiled widely at him. "Bravo! Well spoken, John. I'm very happy to see that Sarah Jane has chosen the right man. Now I know that I don't need to worry about her when I leave after the wedding because I'll be leaving her in good hands. Welcome to the family, John." She held her arms out to him, and when he tentatively approached, gave him a huge hug.

It took a moment for John to absorb what she'd said and return the hug. Could it really have been that easy? He decided he didn't care, he was just going to enjoy it, and started making wedding plans in his head.

* * *

><p>Sarah Jane had barely woken up from her nap when she'd started out to the workshop to find John. She'd heard him and Lavinia talking and had been about to join them when she overheard Lavinia telling John that he should let her pay for her mistakes. She stopped, mortified. How could her Aunt say that about her, and especially to John?<p>

Shocked, she put her hand on the doorknob, ready to throw it open and defend herself, but stopped when she heard John's reply, listening as he defended not just her, but the Doctor as well. Angry and hurt as she was, she had to smile at that, and she was just trying to figure out exactly how she felt when she heard Lavinia welcoming John into the family.

Sarah felt her entire body relax as she realized that her aunt had been testing John, and that he had passed with flying colors. Suddenly she felt silly for listening in on them, and quickly went back into the front room to work on her book, humming happily to herself as she went over her notes. That was the way Lavinia and John found her when they came back into the house.

"Ah, you're awake," John said. "Have a nice nap?"

She looked up at John and gave him a very content smile. "Yes, thank you, John.

He smiled back at her. "Glad to hear it. Your aunt and I have been talking," he said.

"Oh," she said nonchalantly. "About anything interesting? She has some great stories she can tell you about her adventures, you know."

"As a matter of fact," he said, looking to Lavinia for confirmation, "it was about the greatest adventure of all."

Sarah's eyes were twinkling with delight. "Was that the one where she got trapped in an abandoned mine shaft and the whole village turned out to rescue her?"

"No, but I think that would be fascinating," John said, momentarily thrown off his stride. "But not as fascinating," he said, recovering his composure, "as us getting married."

Sarah jumped out of her chair and hugged her aunt. "Oh, I'm so glad we have your approval, Auntie." She kissed her on the cheek and then walked over to John and threw her arms around him. "We're getting married," she said happily, and then kissed him on the cheek too.

John hadn't been expecting the kiss, but it was certainly welcome. He blushed and shifted from one foot to the other.

Lavinia said nothing as she smiled at the two of them. She knew that the best way to make this work was to just sit back and let it happen. 'Those two don't know it yet, but they have quite a future ahead of them if I know my niece,' she thought.

* * *

><p>The next day Sarah Jane went to UNIT and asked to see the Brigadier. She was told to go right in, and smiling warmly, she did. "Good morning Brigadier. I trust you're well this lovely day."<p>

The Brigadier stood and offered her his hand. "Ah, good morning, Miss Smith. I understand that there's good news to report."

"Yes, John told me the two of you talked. I'm sure you won't be surprised, then, when I ask you if you would be willing to give the bride away."

He smiled, a big, wide, relaxed smile that he didn't often get to use in his position. "My dear Sarah Jane, I can say with absolute certainty that even though I'm not the lucky man, I would be truly honored to give you away to Mister Doe. That is, if it's what you really want."

"Of course it's what I really want. I can assure you that I'm happier right now than I've been in a long time," she beamed at him.

"I'm very glad to hear that. As it happens, I've been thinking about your nuptials and I'd like to offer the pair of you a pair of wedding presents."

"What, one for each of us," she laughed.

"Not exactly," he said. "First, I should like to offer you UNIT's facilities for the actual ceremony. I trust that the festivities will not be overly large?"

"That would be brilliant and in fact, we already decided that we want a small intimate wedding instead of a huge affair. Oh Allistair, you're wonderful," she exclaimed. "Can I hug you, you dear man?"

"Of course you may," he said, "but I think you should hear what the second gift is first. It has occurred to me that it would seem that from a legal and administrative standpoint, your fiance doesn't actually exist. I should like to rectify that for you."

"Could you really? Oh my, you're so amazing that I'll just have to hug you now." She gave him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

The Brig accepted the hug and the kiss. He started to reach for her face then stopped himself, instead handing her a stack of papers. "Yes," he coughed self-consciously. "Well, he'll have to decide on a name, date of birth, and so on. It's just as well, I can't keep paying him out of petty cash forever, you know."

"Moreover," Sarah said, "I won't have to change my name to Sarah Jane Doe. I can't wait to see what name John will chose for himself. Thank you so much, you really are such a good friend, Alistair. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. If there's anything, anything at all John or I can do for you, please let us know, though how we could ever hope to pay you back for all you've done is beyond me."

The Brig took both her hands in his. "Just be happy. Both of you."


	11. Chapter 11

John sought out and found Harry. After the previous day's "discussion", he was a bit nervous, but he steeled himself and knocked on Harry's office door.

"It's open, whoever you are, just come in," Harry called out.

John carefully opened the door and quietly sat on an empty stool behind Harry. "Hello, Harry."

Harry turned to face him. "Hullo John old man," he said, in a slightly guarded tone. "What brings you to my neck of the woods, eh? "

John took a deep breath, and reminded himself that Harry was still his best friend. "I, er, I wanted to ask you a favor."

"And what might that be," Harry asked, now becoming a trifle suspicious.

"Well," John started, "you remember that conversation we had yesterday? About me and Sarah?"

"Uhm, yes, what about it then?" Harry looked hard at him.

"Well, I … er … I couldn't tell you yesterday because it wasn't definite, but …" He took another deep breath. "Sarah and I are getting married," he said quickly.

Harry's face fell. "Married, did I hear you right? Did you say that you're going to marry Sarah Jane? I can't believe it." He got up from his desk and paced for a moment. He told himself that he should have been prepared for this, but even after their discussion, Harry had still held out the tiniest hope that one day she would be with him. But this was it, and he had to face it. He walked over to the stool where John sat. "Well, I suppose the only correct thing to do is shake your hand and offer my sincerest congratulations." He held his hand out to John.

John shook his hand. "Harry, I know that you proposed to her, are you really all right with this? Because I still haven't asked you the favor."

"I told you the last time we talked, if it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's you. I just wasn't expecting things to move along so quickly with you two. That said, if it's a favor you want, ask away my good fellow."

"Well," John said, "would you stand up for me? Would you be my Best Man?"

Harry laughed a bit nervously. "Your best man? Are you sure? I mean, I'd be happy to oblige that is, but me? That is a surprise."

"Of course you. Why is that a surprise?"

"Well, besides our little tiff yesterday, I was going to say that we haven't known each other very long, but then I realized, I've known you as long as Sarah Jane has. Though I wouldn't want to marry you, I'm afraid, " he added quickly, laughing.

John laughed with him. "Well, I wouldn't want to marry you either," he said. "But you are my best friend in the world, outside of Sarah Jane."

Harry blushed a bit. "Thank you John, I'd be honored to stand next to you as your best man," he said.

* * *

>When John got back to the car, Sarah was waiting for him. "Guess what," she asked him, her eyes twinkling with excitement.<p>John loved that twinkle. "What?" he asked.<p>

"Not only did the Brig say yes when I asked him to give the bride away, he offered us two incredibly amazing wedding gifts!"

He opened the door for her. "And Harry said 'yes' too. What did the Brig give us?" John asked, closing the door behind her and jogging around to the passenger side for the answer.

Sarah waited until John was sitting down. Then she smiled over at him. "The first one is the use of the UNIT building that's used for formal receptions for heads of state and such to have our wedding in. What do you think of that John," she exclaimed proudly.

John's eyes opened wide. "Heads of state? Really?"

"Yes, really," she said, taking hold of his arm. "But, if you can believe it, the second gift is an even better one!"

"I don't know if anything can be better than that," John said.

"Well, I didn't think so at first either," she said. "But oh, you're really going to love what he is giving us," she couldn't even sit still while she talked, bouncing in her seat.

Her enthusiasm was contagious. "Well? What is it?" John asked, bouncing with her.

"The Brig says you can chose any name at all you want for yourself, and he'll arrange for you to have all the legal papers you'll ever need drawn up for you in that name! Do you know what that means, John? You'll be legal, you can get a driver's license, a passport, a birth certificate, and..." She took both her hands and placed them on his shoulders. "Best of all, you can get married!"

John took a moment to let that sink in. A name. An actual name. He'd been "John Doe" for so long that he thought he'd gotten used to it, but now that the possibility of a real identity was right in front of him, that buried feeling of being a half-person, neither here nor there, came back to him. And yet, at the same time, there was a finality to it, as though he were giving up the search for who he used to be. "Wow," he finally said.

"You'll have to chose carefully, John," Sarah Jane cautioned him. "Just remember, whatever last name you pick will be my new last name when we get married. So, don't pick something difficult to spell like Schnicklefritzstubenhouser or I'll have to keep my maiden name," she laughed.

He laughed too, still taking it in. "I don't think I could even pronounce that," he said. "I'll have to think about it, I suppose. I hadn't even considered it."

Sarah Jane rubbed his head playfully. "Let's go home and we can discuss it over dinner. I'm starving."

* * *

>Sarah Jane, John and Lavinia spent the next few days making wedding plans, with John deciding to let the matter of a name sit until he'd had a chance to think about it. They all agreed that it was a good idea to use the fact that Lavinia couldn't stay very long as an excuse to have the wedding as soon as possible. After all, they really wanted her at the wedding, seeing that she was Sarah Jane's closest relative.<p>The Brigadier's gift of UNIT's facilities took care of the hall, and as Sarah's only family, Lavinia had insisted that she be allowed to pay for all the other expenses. She also backed them up completely when she reassured the Brigadier that she thoroughly approved of John as a husband for her niece.<p>

So a few days later, when John opened the door to find a huge crate on the doorstep, he thought it might be an early wedding present. After all, the wedding was just three weeks away. "Sarah, look," he called. "Some one's sent us something!"

Sarah looked up from her chair and saw John with the crate. She set her notes down and walked over to him. "Here, let me help you get it inside so we can open it," she said leaning down to pick up the side opposite John's.

"Are you mad?" he asked, standing her up. "Don't lift that, you'll hurt yourself. I'll get the dolly from the shop."

"Sorry," she said as she stood up. "You go get it, I'll wait here." She eyed the box for a moment, looking to see if it had a return address or some indication of who it was from, but she couldn't find one. The only thing on the gray colored crate was some stamped lettering that said 'FOR THE ATTENTION OF SARAH JANE SMITH'.

"That's odd," she said to herself out loud . "No return address, or any indication of how it got here. Whatever it is is looks very heavy." She ran her fingers along her name then shrugged. "Suppose I'll just have to wait."

A moment later John came around the front of the house with a hand truck and a crowbar slung over his shoulder. He pushed up the side of the box so he could get the lip of the dolly under it, then pulled back with a mighty heave. "It's certainly a heavy enough crate," he said, panting slightly as he pulled the cart over the threshold. He set it down as gently as he could, then held out the crowbar. "Shall I?"

Sarah Jane waved an arm towards the crate. "Please John, be my guest."

John pried up the gray top of the box and lifted it off to show a white interior. Something was inside, draped in a silver sort of blanket. "That's odd," he said. "Heavy as it is, I'd have thought this thing was full." He lifted one side of the box and the heavy panel came out easily. "That's handy. And it explains why it weighs so much. You'd think it's lined with lead or something."

As John examined the box, Sarah Jane bent down carefully and lifted the silver cover up to see what was under it. She laughed softly at what she saw. "It looks just like some sort of metal dog, doesn't it," she asked John.

"It does," he said distractedly. He crouched down and lifted it out of the box, setting it gently on the front room carpet. "Any idea who might have sent it to you?"

"None at all," she said, shaking her head. "I wonder if it's some kind of odd artwork, or if it actually does something," she said, playing with what looked like ears on the top of the thing's head. "What do you make of it John?"

John looked carefully at the ears. "They look like sensors," he said, then knelt down to look underneath, his hand on its back. "And it's on wheels. It might do -"

"Mistress," the dog said, its head beginning to move.

Sarah Jane jumped. She looked closer at the tin dog. "Did you say something just now?"

"I spoke, Mistress," the metal dog said. "I am K-9, Mark III."


	12. Chapter 12

"K-9 Mark III," Sarah said slowly, trying to decide what that meant.

John groaned. "K-9," he said. "Get it? Canine? K … 9?" He laughed. "Someone has a sense of humor."

"Yes, someone does," she said still staring at K-9. "Where are you from, K-9," she said, trying to communicate with it.

"From the Doctor," K-9 said.

Suddenly she backed away from the box as if it were a bomb. "From the Doctor?" She shook her head in disbelief. He was here, she realized. He was here and he didn't say anything to her. 'Why, why, why,' a voice in her head screamed. 'Oh no, not now! Why now, when I've just announced my engagement?' What if he'd been watching her and this was a wedding gift? Did it mean he didn't care what she did?

John was just as stunned as she was. He could feel his heart pounding. "K-9," he asked, "is the Doctor nearby? Is he all right?"

"No available data," the dog said, his radar dish ears rotating slightly.

"Did he give you any sort of message?" He looked around in the box for a note.

"He said, 'Give Sarah Jane my fondest love, and tell her I will remember her always.'"

"He'll always remember me?" She parsed the message carefully. Did it mean goodbye forever, that he was never coming back and this was his parting gift to her? It wasn't fair, she was just beginning to adjust and now this. She crumpled to the floor and burst into tears.

John caught her just as she was about to hit the floor and held her, still staring at K-9. He rocked her back and forth soothingly, jumping slightly when K-9 suddenly rolled forward towards them.

"Mistress," K-9 said, "are you all right?"

Sarah Jane looked up at K-9, still crying. "He remembered, he remembered," she sobbed.

Meanwhile Lavinia, who had heard part of the commotion, came rushing into the front room. As soon as she saw John kneeling down and holding Sarah Jane, she rushed to her side. "What is it my dear? Are you all right?"

"Oh Auntie," she said, sobbing even louder. "He remembered." She pointed to K-9.

"Good heavens," she said as she suddenly noticed K-9. "What is that thing and what did who remember? What on earth has made you cry like this?"

"It's a tin dog and it's from the Doctor," she said, shaking and sniffing. "Do you remember when I was seven and I wanted a puppy?"

"Of course I do. But what's that got to do with all this?"

"You said it wouldn't be fair to the dog if we got one because we couldn't travel with it and we'd have to board it all the time. You said that meant that the puppy would have to spend most of it's time in a cage crying for me. You made me see how unfair it would be to the dog. Well, I told the Doctor about it one day. I also said I still really wanted a dog, but I couldn't get one for the same reasons. Don't you see? He remembered and sent me this little tin dog that will never have to go to a kennel if I go somewhere." She started sobbing and shaking again.

John was at a loss. "Well, then … why are you crying?" he asked.

Sarah Jane couldn't stop crying long enough to tell him. She looked at Lavinia helplessly.

"She's crying over the Doctor, John," Lavinia said. "This business with him has thrown her completely off."

"But … wouldn't she be happy that he remembered her?"

Lavinia shook her head as she remembered why she never married. "I suspect it's because she was doing so well trying to forget about him."

John stroked her hair. "And now what are you thinking?" he asked Sarah Jane.

"He was here and he didn't even want to see me or talk to me. This is his way of saying goodbye. He doesn't want me with him anymore and I'll never see him again, John."

"But …" he sputtered, "you don't know that."

She nodded. "Oh yes I do. It's his way of doing things," she said through her tears. "You don't know him like I do. He hates goodbyes."

John chewed on that for a moment. "Well … say that you're right, and this is his way of saying goodbye. Weren't you saying that the worst part was being up in the air?"

Sarah pulled herself up as best as she could. "I'm sorry John, I can't think straight. I don't know what I feel right now. I just can't do anything, I can't..." she ran up the stairs to her room and slammed the door behind her as she flung herself across the bed and cried her eyes out.

Lavinia stared at Sarah as she ran up the steps. Then she turned to John. "I'm afraid she may never really get over him John, but you mustn't blame yourself."

John wasn't sure what he might blame himself for, as he hadn't actually done anything, but he just nodded agreeably and set about examining K-9.

* * *

><p>Sarah didn't come down for dinner and Lavinia advised John to let her have a good cry. She told him that Sarah would come and talk to him when she felt that she was up to it.<p>

Later that evening, Sarah Jane came quietly down the stairs and slipped out the back door. She sat down on the glider and gazed up at the stars. "Why does it always end up this way," she said out loud. She was feeling abandoned and completely gutted, left with just questions and no answers. Was she going to have to spend the rest of her life this way?

John had seen her go by and quietly slipped out after her, just as he had done weeks ago when Harry had crushed her. "Hello," he said quietly. "I can go back inside if you don't want to talk yet, but if you do, I've got a shoulder here for you."

Sarah looked over at him. Her eyes were red and puffy and still moist with tears. She nodded, then moved over slightly to make room for him. As he sat down he held his arms open to her. She threw herself into them and buried her head in the crook of his arm.

He stroked her hair. For the thousandth time he wished he could make all of her pain go away so that she could be happy. "We're going to make it better," he said, realizing as the words came out of his mouth that he had no idea how.

"Oh John, I'm so so sorry," Sarah said. "You deserve so much more than this. I'm being so difficult and you're being so kind and gentle. Why aren't you furious with me?"

"Furious with you? For what? You haven't done anything wrong."

"A short while ago we were making wedding plans, and now look at me, I'm a total mess. You should be telling me where to get off right now. I deserve it."

He was quiet for a moment. He thought he might be getting the picture. "You're afraid you can't go through with it because of how you feel."

She nodded her head, afraid to look at him. "I can't stop feeling the way I do about him no matter how hard I try. Just when I think I'm over him, something happens and I'm right back where I started. Heartbroken and longing for someone I'll never see again. Here you are, willing to marry me and you're so good for me, but I'm afraid I'll just break your heart the way he broke mine. Oh John, I'm sorry, but I refuse to make any one feel that way, especially you."


	13. Chapter 13

John gently took Sarah's chin in his hands and turned her face towards him. "I'm willing to take that risk. If you want to wait, and give him a bit longer to come back, that's all right."

She looked into his eyes and saw the understanding and patience in them. She understood, too, that he must love her a great deal to be that self sacrificing. "Oh John, you're wonderful, but are you sure? I mean, we just told everyone, and there's the baby to consider and Aunt Lavinia really does want to get back to her work. I'm not really not quite sure if it's the right thing to do."

"Sarah," he said, "I know that this marriage is supposed to be... well, I mean I know that we're not really... I mean, I just don't want you to do something you're not comfortable with. You need to have some kind of closure here, and if that means waiting, I think we need to do that." He took a deep breath. "Look, it's no secret anymore that I love you, but I'd rather have you happy without me than miserable with me. I don't want you to spend your life with me wondering what could have been. I … I want whatever you want."

Sarah looked intently at John, then ran her hand along his cheek. He was so openly and genuinely devoted to her. He was also the first person she had ever known who was not only willing to let her do things her way, but who would do anything to make sure that she could. For the first time in her life, she understood what it was to feel loved unconditionally. Her happiness was actually more important to him than his own.

Of course she knew her aunt loved her, but Lavinia had always had such high expectations for her to live up to. The Doctor, whatever his feelings for her were, always felt that he knew what was best and insisted on doing everything his way. She realized that John had never questioned her motives or expected anything from her. His only thoughts had been for her happiness.

In that moment, she couldn't speak. She didn't know what to say to him. Finally, she just whispered "Thank you John," knowing it would never be enough.

"You're more than welcome," John said. "So if you want to postpone it, we should just tell people. Lavinia can go back to her work, and if people are counting the months … well, that's their problem."

Sarah Jane thought it through, then shook her head adamantly. "If you want to wait, that's fine, I understand. If you want to call the whole thing off, I can accept that too. What I absolutely won't have is someone labeling my child or blaming the Doctor for everything. I think maybe I better go away for a while if we decide to postpone things."

He held her hand tighter, as though if he didn't she would fly away forever. "Sarah Jane, the last thing I want to do is call it off. I know it's not real, but I really want to marry you. I just … you seemed so upset at the idea of going through with it, I thought …" He sighed. "I want you to be happy."

"John,I really want you to be happy too, but I have to do what's best for the baby. The truth is that I need to get married so I can tell the Brig what's going on as soon as I possibly can. If I start showing too soon now, we won't be fooling anyone. Besides, I really need to have a doctor examine me and make sure the baby is healthy. I need antenatal vitamins and the proper care. Don't you see? My feelings and yours, if you still want to get married, take second place to the baby's needs. He or she has to come first. I won't, I can't have it any other way."

He put an arm around her shoulder. "Well then, we'd better get back to planning," he said.

Sarah Jane nodded, smiling softly at him as she laid her cheek against his shoulder. "Thank you, John."

* * *

><p>The next morning, John sat at his workbench, trying not to think about the wedding, or the baby, or any of a thousand things that were on his mind.<p>

Sarah had asked him to take K-9 out of the house, at least temporarily, and now he was in the shop as kind of guard dog. "What do you think about all this, K-9?"

"Please be more specific, master," K-9 answered.

John raised an eyebrow. "Master?"

"You are a friend of the mistress and you live with her, do you not?," K-9 asked as he rolled closer to John.

"I am and I do," John said.

"Then you are to be addressed as 'master', master."

John gave that a little bit of thought. "Well, seems a little … cavalier, but all right." He set down the pile of wooden letters he'd bought to make a sign for the shop. "More specific," he mused. "K-9," he finally said, "do you know why the Doctor dropped you off at this point in time?"

"As a gift for the mistress."

"I know you're a gift, but why now, do you know?"

"Negative, insufficient data."

"Well so far, K-9," John said, "you have not been a lot of help."

"Insufficient flux," K-9 said.

John's ears perked up. "Insufficient flux? You mean, like, temporal flux? Is the Doctor around?" He darted to the workshop door and began to look around.

"Insufficient flux used to solder broken connection in non-functional entertainment device."

John came back into the workshop and looked at Mrs. McNulty's television, the project he'd started working on yesterday but hadn't quite finished. "Yes, K-9," he said, disappointed. "That's it." Suddenly he turned on the robot dog like a cerebral gunfighter. "Quick, what's the smallest base ten zeroless pandigital palindromic happy number?"

"Thirteen quadrillion, four hundred fifty six trillion, seven hundred eighty nine billion, two hundred ninety eight million, seven hundred sixty five thousand, four hundred thirty one," K-9 said without missing a beat.

"Impressive," John said. "I'll bet that positronic brain you were spouting off about this morning is going to come in pretty handy around here." John patted him on the head and smiled slightly. "Good dog."

"Affirmative, master."

His mood not quite lifted, John went back to the pile of wooden letters, arranging them on the sign. No matter how much he spaced out the words, "JOHN'S TINKER SHOP" still looked like "JOHN' STINKER SHOP."

He sighed, thinking about how it fit his mood.

He'd been so happy just a day ago. He'd been getting married, the Brigadier had promised him a new identity, he and Sarah were both getting on with their lives, and Sarah was happy. Now, only a day later, only that last fact had changed, but it made all the difference.

He grabbed the wooden "S" from "STINKER" and turned it over and over in his hands, then hooked it on his finger and idly swung it around, staring at the sign and letting his mind wander.

Suddenly he grabbed the letter off his finger and smacked it down on the sign.

Everything, absolutely everything was clear now. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, John bounded into the house, sign in hand, heedless to the down mood that permeated the house. He sat down across from Sarah, who was just staring at her morning tea morosely. "Guess what," he said enthusiastically, as if daring her to stay sad.<p>

Sarah looked up at his face and she had to admit, that enthusiasm of his was getting to her. "What," she said, showing just the slightest hint of interest.

"I decided on a name," he said, and showed her the sign. In big black wooden letters, it said, "JOHN TINKER'S SHOP". He waited for a reaction.

Sarah read then reread the sign and smiled. "John Tinker, I like it, it really suits you."

"What suits him," asked Lavinia as she wandered into the room and the conversation. She noted that Sarah Jane looked as if she hadn't slept all night, but that she did have a bit of a smile playing on her lips.

John turned the sign so Lavinia could read it. "I figure they used to name people after what they did for a living, why not now?"

Lavinia read the sign and smiled dotingly at him. "Why not indeed, John. Sarah Jane is right, it does suit you perfectly."

"Thank you," he said. "So John Sidney Tinker it is. And John Sidney Tinker, my friends, has an idea." He smiled broadly at Sarah.

"Sidney is it? I like that." Sarah couldn't help herself, John had pulled her out of her gloom and into his good mood. She laughed at him. "And just what might that be Mister John Sidney Tinker?"

"Well, Miss Sarah Jane Smith," he said, "it's this." He pulled a rolled up sheet of paper out of his back pocket and smoothed it out on the kitchen table. On it were dozens of calculations, diagrams, and scribbles that might as well have been ancient hieroglyphics. "Behold," he said.

Sarah Jane leaned over and looked at the paper studiously. There was a twinkle in her eye now as she stifled a giggle. She looked up at him and nodded sagely. "Oh of course, you're brilliant. I don't know why I didn't think of it myself. Why, it's so obvious a child could understand it." She looked over at her aunt and gestured towards the paper. "Look at this, Auntie, why the solution is as plain as the nose on John's face."

Lavinia drew closer and looked at the paper. "Oh, heavens," she exclaimed enthusiastically. "You're right Sarah Jane, it's pure genius. John, I do believe you've invented an entirely new language. The one small flaw in your plan, though, is that you've forgotten to translate it for everyone else."

Sarah burst out giggling. "I'm sorry John, I couldn't resist teasing you, but I can't make sense out of one word of anything on that paper. You're going to have to explain it to the two of us, as it's clearly beyond our understanding."

He smiled, taking their ribbing in good humor. "It's a beacon," he said, as though it were obvious. "You need to hear from the Doctor to get some kind of closure, but he doesn't know that you need to talk to him. So we send him a message," he said enthusiastically. He pointed to one particular set of scribbles. "We send it wherever and whenever he can be, and then he'll get it and he can come back and you two can figure out where you stand once and for all."


	14. Chapter 14

For just a minute Sarah's heart raced faster at the thought of seeing the Doctor again. Then she realized that John didn't have the least chance of contacting him. Fixing appliances was one thing, jury rigging a device to communicate across space and time was a whole different matter. Yes, he was talented, but this was far beyond what a twentieth-century human could do. Still, she didn't want to hurt his feelings when he so obviously wanted to help. "Well you're free to try it, John," she shrugged. "Just don't get your hopes up too much," she warned him.

"Great," he said, getting even more excited. "I'll get right on it." He practically skipped out of the kitchen and back out to the shop.

"Well," said Lavinia as she turned to Sarah. "One thing's for certain, that boy would do anything to make you happy, even at the cost of his own feelings."

Sarah had been watching John heading out happily to his work shop. "He would, and that's why I have to be careful. I'm afraid I could break his heart, and believe me, that's the last thing I want to do." She sighed. "The Doctor won't come back though, even if by some miracle he did get John's message. He's gotten on with his life and I'm not a part of it anymore. The Doctor doesn't want to remember what happened between us," she said wistfully.

Lavinia squeezed her shoulder. "Then it's his loss," she said, then looked back out to the shop. "And perhaps your gain."

"What?" Sarah looked towards the direction her aunt was looking. "John? Oh, he's very nice and very sweet, but I don't have any romantic feelings about him at all. He's more like a brother or something to me, that's all. I'm just helping him because I'm really fond of him and I feel sort of responsible for him. Believe me, there's nothing more to it than that."

Lavinia looked at her, waiting for her to think about what she was saying.

Sarah almost backed away from her, but instead stood her ground. "Don't look at me like that Aunt. Honestly, he's just a dear friend. I'll never love anyone but the Doctor, even if I never see him again. I couldn't, he's my whole life."

"If you say so," Lavinia said, and went to make herself some tea.

Sarah looked outside at John's work shop once more then shook her head. "I simply couldn't," she mumbled to herself and went back to work.

* * *

>The next morning, John waited patiently for a break in the Brigadier's schedule so he could ask him a question. Finally, he was ushered in. "Good morning, sir."<p>The brig looked up from his paperwork. "Good morning Mr. Doe. Is there something I can do for you?"<p>

"Yes, sir, there is," he said, sitting down across from the desk. "I understand that the Doctor left you a device to contact him with."

"Oh that? Yes, well, he never answers it anymore. Useless really, unless you're in need of an anchor or a really heavy doorstop." He looked around his office for it then remembered that he had it removed and put in storage. He turned back to John. "What about it then?"

"Well, sir, if it's useless, I wondered if I might have it. I've got an idea about how to contact him and there are a couple of variables I'm hoping the device can help me eliminate."

"Contact him!" The Brig stood up. "Why the devil would you want to contact him, man? You've just announced your engagement to Miss Smith. Why get him involved? Don't you know that's like inviting disaster into your life?"

John shrank back in his chair, swallowing hard. "Because … well, sir, you see, I want to marry her no matter what, and we're not going to let it stop us, but he sent her a gift. This robot dog. He's amazing, really, but it got to her and I think that until she talks to him and … settles things, she's always going to have this hanging over her head. I want to marry her more than anything, but I'd rather have her happy with him than married to me and wondering what might have been."

"I see," the Brigadier said, recovering his composure. "And is Miss Smith aware of what you're attempting to do?"

"Yes, sir. She told me not to get my hopes up, but we have to try. I just think it's the right thing to do."

The Brigadier raised one eyebrow and scrutinized John for a moment. Whoever he really was, he believed he was John Doe, and it was astounding to think that he'd take this step. "You're a good man, Mister Doe, and I'm glad Miss Smith has accepted you. I'll make arrangements to have the machine sent over to your home. I just hope you know what you're doing," he sighed.

"So do I, sir," John said, relieved. "Oh! And it's Mister Tinker. John Sidney Tinker. Thank you so much for helping with that."

"Ah I see you've chosen a name then. Congratulations, Mr. Tinker. If you're quite ready to fill out the necessary forms, I'll see to it that you receive the proper ID in short order," he smiled at him and extended his hand.

John shook his hand and went back to work.

* * *

>Sarah Jane sat and looked over the list of things she had to do before the wedding. At the moment she was working on the invitation list. As she sat thinking about who she wanted to invite, she paused. She had never really pictured herself getting married. For years she had never seen herself doing anything but traveling with the Doctor. She couldn't help but wonder now if she would ever see him again, and if she did, what would she say to him?<p>She wondered about John too. What kind of life would they have? She could see John walking next to her with the baby in his or her pram. They would stop and talk to the neighbors, and everyone would tell them how beautiful the baby was. How normal it all seemed. People would probably assume that they were the perfect couple.<p>

She wondered if she'd spend the rest of her life with a secret longing in her heart for a life that she could never have again. Would time be her friend or her enemy? She had no choice but to wait and see.

She knew John loved her, but what would he be like in a year or two if that love wasn't returned? Would they grow bitter towards each other, just two people going through the pretense of being man and wife, or could they learn to live together as a team, perhaps even a couple? She was so confused and so uncertain. What if her aunt was right about John? Could she ever learn to care enough about him to make it a real marriage? She looked out the window towards the fix-it shop. Did she want to?

She shook her head. How could she even think that anyone but the Doctor could make her life worthwhile again? Whatever was in store for them, they would handle as it came. They would be busy enough raising the baby and of course, they would have being parents in common. She rubbed her hand over her stomach. "I'm so sorry that we won't have your real father little one, but at least you'll be very loved, and we won't be alone."

* * *

>John stood in his workshop, staring at the large yellow packet that had just arrived via messenger. Inside, he knew, was all of the paperwork the Brigadier had promised him. Identification, birth certificate, everything he needed to … to what?<p>To be a real person?<p>

He looked at the small velvet box that was all that remained of his old life. Slowly, he picked it up and looked at the engagement ring inside. It still sparkled just as much as it had on the day he'd arrived, and still gave no clues as to the identity of the woman who should be wearing it.

Two lives. To embrace one, he felt he had to give up the other.

He set the envelope on the table, fastidiously lining it up next to the ring and staring at both of them. He and Sarah had both been working so hard to find out who he'd been, to find anyone who might have known him. Now, to start his new life, he had to admit to himself that his old one was gone.

He pulled up his work stool and sat, staring at both items.

Finally, he made his decision, picked up the envelope, and headed back into the house to show Sarah Jane.

* * *

>Sarah was in the front room humming to herself while she worked. Things were starting to heat up for Nicola Jones and the Doctor in her latest story. At the moment Nicola was teaching the queen how to be liberated and take charge of her kingdom, and she really loved this part. She heard the back door open and sat up. "Hello John." She looked at her watch, still too early for lunch. "Business a bit slow today?"<p>"No," he said, placing the still sealed envelope on the table. "But UNIT sent this over."<p>

She stared at the packet for a moment. "It's addressed to you. What's in it?"

"My new life, I suppose," he said. He sat down and put his chin on the table, staring at it.

"Well you don't seem very happy about it." She squeezed his hand. "You know you don't have to do this, John, don't you?"

He sat up straight. "Of course, I know I don't have to do this, and I am definitely happy about it. It's just … well, I realized that this is the end of looking for the old me. I don't regret it, it's just a solemn moment, that's all."

"Nonsense, what do you mean the end of looking for the old you? We made a deal, remember? If something or someone from our past life comes back to either of us, we sit down and talk about it and come to terms with it. Besides, I'm not ready to give up on finding out who you really are, even if you are."

He smiled. "You never give up, do you," he said. "I like that about you." He picked up the envelope and tentatively worked his finger under the corner of the flap. "Thank you."

"Just remember John, you're never alone. I'll always be here for you."

Before he could respond, the phone rang.

"Hullo," Sarah answered.

"Good afternoon, Miss Smith, this is PC Davis."

Sarah looked over at John. "PC Davis, what can I do for you?"

"Is Mister Doe still with you?"

"Why yes, he's right here as a matter of fact."

"That's great," the Officer said. "We may have a lead on his identity."


	15. Chapter 15

She looked over at John. "You have a clue on John's identity? That's amazing," she told the officer. "We were just talking about that very thing. What kind of clue is it?"

John was on his feet, staring expectantly at Sarah. "What is it?" he asked as she held up a finger telling him to wait a moment.

"There's a woman here who thinks she might know him," Davis was saying. "Do you think you could bring him down?"

"Why, yes of course, right away." She was stunned as she hung up the phone and just stared at John. "John, there's someone at the police station who thinks she might know who you are."

Just for a second, John took it in. He'd thought that the packet's arrival had turned his life upside down; that was nothing compared to what he felt now. It was as if the universe had shifted about an inch to the left; everything looked the same, but it was somehow different. "Well … we should … we should go, shouldn't we?"

"Yes, we really should." Sarah saw the look on John's face. He seemed mystified. 'Maybe' she thought. 'John, will find out who he really is at last.' She hoped this would work out for him, but what if it turned out to be a mistake? What would that do to him if he got his hopes dashed? She couldn't let that happen. "John, you do know this could be nothing, don't you? I mean, I hope it's not, but you have to be prepared just in case."

He took a deep breath. They'd been looking for so long, and a little part of him had to admit that he'd almost given up. He nodded. "Right, I'll … um … yes, well, of course we'll just keep an open mind, then won't we." He looked at the manila envelope he'd dropped back on the table when he'd realized the police were calling. He didn't know quite what he thought.

Sarah quickly left a note for her aunt, who was out visiting friends for the day, then grabbed her purse and keys and headed for the car. "Let's go," she said as she walked out the door.

John followed her, feeling as if he should say something, but not sure what it should be. "You're right, of course, this may …. this may not be the real thing."

"Oh John," Sarah sighed. "I really do want this to be real, I just don't want to see you hurt if it's not." Then she saw the look in his eyes. "Let's just try to think positive." She started the car up and headed for the constabulary.

* * *

><p>John felt his anticipation rising as they got closer to the station. They'd been stopping in for months, just to make sure that nobody forgot about him, but there had never been any movement in his case. Now, all of a sudden, everything could change in a heartbeat.<p>

And he suddenly realized the implications of that. "You know, Sarah, that no matter what happens today, I still want to help you. I'm not going to leave you high and dry."

Sarah had been thinking of what this could mean for both of them as well. Of course if this woman was the one the ring belonged to, that meant she wasn't going to be John's wife. Then she began thinking about how she would deal with having the baby without being married to John. She had come to consider John as the one who would stand by her when she gave birth, the one who would help her raise the baby. She was determined, however, not to let John try to be noble and stand by her if he did find his real identity at last. "Well, John," she joked. "If you do have a wife and six children, I'm sorry, but the wedding is definitely off."

He laughed. "I suppose so. But unless I'm Ring Salesman to the Queen, it's more likely I'm just engaged, and I'm sure that my fiancée would understand that I've got unfinished business here with you."

"John, I have no intention of coming between you and your fiancée if that's who this woman is. Of course, I do want to stay friends with you, but you don't owe me a thing and I won't have you feeling obligated to me."

"It's not obligation, Sarah, I care about you and I want to help. And any woman I would fall in love with would understand that."

"John, you are a very dear man and I really appreciate that, but you need to stop and think this through. If this is real, the woman that you love and that loves you has been worried sick about you and searching frantically for you all this time. She needs you and deserves your complete attention. I'm fine, I have friends and family to help me. As your friend, I'm telling you to see to your needs and the needs of your loved ones. Don't forget you have a life that you've been absent from, and that will need attending to as well."

"I know, but …" He sighed and bit his lip, nervousness starting to tingle in his chest. "Best to just play it by ear, I suppose. Do you think … do you think that if it's real, everything will just come flooding back to me?"

"I'm not sure, but we'll find out soon enough won't we?" She didn't know why, but she began to get a horrible sinking feeling. She was picturing John looking at this woman and then his memory returning as they rushed into each other's arms.

She couldn't understand it, but she suddenly felt as if a tremendous stone had been dropped on her chest. After all, it wasn't as if she were in love with John or anything like that. She told herself that she should be happy for John if he found out who he really was. Hadn't she been helping him all this time to do just that? Somehow though, she only felt a deep sense of loss.

John, meanwhile, nodded and was silent until they arrived. Then he quickly got out of the car and ran around to open Sarah's door and help her out. He swallowed hard and looked at her expectantly.

She gave his hand a quick reassuring squeeze. "Are you ready?"

He took a deep breath. "Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose." He took her hand and walked with her to the door, then pushed it open expectantly, as if that simple action would change everything.

As they headed over to PC Davis' desk, Sarah Jane saw a beautiful woman with long ash blonde hair and a very anxious expression on her face. Then she turned her head and saw John. "That's him," she exclaimed. "It's Stephen! I can't believe it. Oh Stephen, you're here and you're all right!" She looked up at John with tears rolling down her face.


	16. Chapter 16

John stood there like a deer caught in the headlights, everything moving in slow motion. He saw the woman calling out to him, heard the words, saw the tears, but everything was surreal, as if it were coming from someone else's life.

Nothing had come back to him in that moment. Not one thing. Here, it seemed, was what he'd been looking for for months, and it was just as alien to him as everything else.

He just wanted to disappear.

Sarah winced as John held onto her hand so tightly it turned white. It was clear to her that John's memory hadn't come back and that he was terrified.

The woman saw it too. She stopped cold. "Stephen, you don't remember me, do you? This officer said you lost your memory, but I couldn't believe that you wouldn't know me."

John shook his head slowly, eyes still wide.

She turned to Sarah Jane. "You must be Miss Smith. I've been told how kind you've been to Stephen. I don't know how to thank you enough." She held her hand out to Sarah. "I'm Gloria Ridgeway, Stephen's fiancee."

Sarah extended her free hand to her. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Ridgeway."

"Why don't the two of you come sit down and join us," said PC Davis. "We have a lot to discuss. I'll get some tea over here and we can begin to sort things out."

Sarah nodded. "John, let's sit down then."

John nodded and followed her, as if in a dream. This Gloria woman knew him. This was his life. So why did it feel so … unreal?

"John, or perhaps I should say Stephen," began PC Davis. "This young lady says she can positively identify you as Stephen Parker. She says that up until your disappearance, you lived with her at the home you both share in Barnwood, Gloucestershire. She also says that you are a physics professor at St. Lawrence College. She teaches there as well, as the fine arts professor. Does any of this sound familiar to you?"

John listened to the description of his life and tried to make it sound familiar. His name was Stephen, he lived in Barnwood, he taught physics. It seemed reasonable, just … someone else. He slowly shook his head.

While everyone else was focusing on John, Sarah Jane was studying Gloria Ridgeway and her reactions. She seemed nice enough, about Sarah's age and dressed well. The woman looked just quirky enough to be a fine arts teacher. What she noticed more than that, though, was the way Gloria was looking at John. Her expression was partly relief, partly joy, but mostly, she looked like a woman who was deeply in love. She imagined that if the Doctor ever came back to her, she'd react a lot like that.

"Miss Ridgeway, would you please show Miss Smith and Mr. Doe the information I asked you to bring with you when we spoke over the phone," asked PC Davis.

"Gladly," she answered as she reached over and took a photo album and some papers off the constable's desk. "Here," she said as she gave them to John to look at.

Since Sarah Jane was sitting next to him, she just leaned over a bit and looked at them too.

It was Stephen Parker's college diploma, a certified copy of his driver's license and his passport, and a photo album filled with photos.

John picked up each item in turn, looking them over. He turned each page of the album slowly, staring at each photo of a man who looked exactly like him, sometimes with Gloria, sometimes with someone else, sometimes alone. He looked at a picture of Stephen leaning against an aged blue Jaguar and tried to put himself into that position. He just couldn't make it feel right. Finally, he looked up at Gloria. "It's been months. Where have you been?"

"In hospital. I was in a coma for almost nine weeks and then I had to undergo some very extensive surgery. I was injured pretty badly in the accident," she said as she pulled her leg out from under PC Davis' desk. She lifted her skirt a bit to reveal an artificial leg. "They were able to save the other one, but this one was too crushed. I had to have a lot of therapy before I could walk again."

John tried not to stare. He thought he should feel awful for her, and he did. "I'm sorry," he said. "So … so it was a car accident." He fingered the scar on his scalp. He looked at Davis. "But you said … you said you looked and there weren't any in the vicinity that night."

"There weren't, but we had no idea where you started out or how long you were walking. The accident was almost twenty miles away. It's likely someone picked you up on the road with the pretense of helping you, then drove for a while before you were robbed and left for dead. That injury on you head might not even be from the accident."

Sarah Jane's heart went out to Gloria. The thought of her lying in a hospital bed and wondering what had happened to John, not knowing if he was even alive, hit too close to home. She had gone through so many similar situations with the Doctor. She understood all too well how Gloria must have felt.

John, meanwhile, nodded again, still trying to absorb all this. A car accident. The woman he loved nearly killed. He himself robbed and left for dead by someone who was supposed to help him. If Sarah hadn't been there... He looked at her staring at Gloria and wondered what she was thinking. Then he reminded himself that he should be thinking about Gloria. He looked over at her. "I'm … I'm sorry. Was I driving?"

"You were, Stephen dear," she said, smiling warmly at him. "But it wasn't your fault, the weather was bad that night and the car that hit us was in the wrong lane. You musn't blame yourself for what happened. You've always been an excellent driver and if you hadn't of reacted so quickly, we could both have died that night."

He felt a pang of regret, but inside he tried to think of himself behind the wheel. He hadn't driven since the accident, because he had no license. Suddenly one question came into his head, and before he could stop it it came out of his mouth. "Now what?" he asked, putting his hand over his mouth as though he could take it back.


	17. Chapter 17

Sarah Jane looked over at PC Davis and Gloria Ridgeway.

"You start to live your life again, Stephen," said Gloria, still smiling at John.

"My life," he repeated. "What is that?"

"You can live your life any way you please, Mister Parker," said PC Davis. "I would suggest that whatever you decide to do that you don't rush into things. Maybe you should start some sort of therapy, if you haven't already."

"Therapy? I'm not... I'm not crazy, Officer Davis, I just … I just don't remember."

"Sorry, I never meant to imply you were insane, Mr. Parker, I just meant that this is a difficult situation to find yourself in, and you might feel the need to seek some counseling to help you get through all this," PC Davis responded.

Sarah Jane put her hand on John's shoulder. "You know, that may not be a bad idea if you're comfortable with it. You're definitely going to have a lot of adjusting to deal with."

"I don't want to force you to do anything that you're not comfortable with, Stephen," Gloria interjected. "Why don't you just come back with me to our house? Maybe that will help you to remember something." Gloria gave him a hopeful look. "Your mum and dad and your brother Mitchell are there, waiting to find out if I really found you at last." She put her head down sadly. "We've had so many false leads in the past, but we never gave up hope." She picked her head up and pleaded with him with her eyes. "They're really so anxious to see you again. They've missed you as much as I have, you know."

John unconsciously put his hand over Sarah's as he listened to Gloria talk. In one sentence he'd gone from being alone in the world to having a mother, a father, a brother and … a house? "I don't know if I'm ready to move right back in to another house. I mean, this is all very sudden, and …" He trailed off, not sure what else to say.

"John," Sarah said, "why don't you go there just for a few hours to visit with your family? If it's alright with your fiancee, I'll go with you for moral support." She looked over at Gloria. "I promise not to get in anyone's way. It's just that John doesn't remember anything yet and this is so overwhelming for him."

Gloria reached a hand out to Sarah Jane. "You've been very good to Stephen, and I know he trusts you. You are very welcome in our home anytime, Miss Smith. If Stephen does come, though, I hope you won't mind letting me ride with you. I got a ride from a friend who works in the area, and she won't be going back home for hours."

Sarah Jane turned to John. "Well, what do you think about all this, John, or would you rather I call you Stephen now?"

"I think … I think that I don't know what I think," he said. "I suppose I can honestly say that I don't even know my own name right now," he said, forcing an uneasy laugh.

Gloria turned to him. "Stephen, I love you and I can't begin to tell you how much I've missed you. I'm still young and I can wait forever if I have to for you to remember the wonderful life we had together. But all this has been so hard on your poor parents. They've been heartbroken since the night you went missing. For their sakes, couldn't you just let them see you for a short while? I'll explain to them that you don't have your memory back yet."

John looked to Sarah for an answer.

"I'm afraid this has to be your decision, John," she shrugged at him.

He nodded slowly. "I suppose it would be all right to just … to go there for a little while." He looked at Gloria. "And maybe you're right. Maybe I will remember something."

Gloria was crying softly. "Thank you Stephen, thank you so much."

Gloria's tears tugged at Sarah's heartstrings. 'She must love John very much,' she thought. "Right, shall we be on our way then?" She stood up and waited.

John looked from Sarah to Gloria. He felt like he should do something, but he wasn't sure what. Finally he reached out a hand to help her up.

Gloria took his hand, still crying. She held on to him firmly as she stood up. As she did, her face was almost next to his. She looked deeply into his eyes. "Thank you, Stephen dearest."

He nodded wordlessly and swallowed hard, then looked back to Sarah for reassurance.

Sarah smiled sheepishly at him. "Looks like you're about to meet your family John."

"Looks like it," he said, and they headed out to the car.

With Gloria in the front at Sarah Jane's request so that she could give her directions, John was left alone in the back seat with his thoughts.

He'd been thinking about finding his life, his family, for months; so why did it seem as though everything were spinning out of his control? The whole time that he'd been reconciling himself to the idea that starting a new life meant giving up the old one, it had never once occurred to him that finding his old life would mean giving up the new one.

It was a long drive, but after almost two hours of uneasy small talk, they had arrived in front of his home in Barnwood, and he climbed out of the back seat, reminding himself to give Gloria a hand out of the car, rather than racing around to the driver's side to help Sarah as he usually did. Still, he found himself looking over to her for approval before turning to stare at the house that was supposed to be his home.

There was an older couple on the porch looking expectantly at him, along with a middle-aged man who did bear some resemblance to him. "Stephen," he heard the woman say, looking like she could barely hold herself back from running to him.

Then there was an explosion of activity, with first one neighbor, then another shouting, "Stephen!" and coming over to shake his hand. In a moment he was surrounded and didn't know where to turn first, or who to speak to, or how to stop getting crushed up against the car. Finally, a large golden retriever jumped up, put its front paws on his shoulders, and started licking his face.

Sarah Jane came up to him laughing as she took his arm and led him away from everyone and up to the front of the house where his parents were waiting excitedly for him.

"Stephen, my son, my baby," his mother said, holding her arms out to him.

Gloria, by this time, was standing next to her. "He still doesn't remember anything, mom." She put a hand on her shoulder. "So I'm afraid you can't expect him to act like Stephen just yet."

"Oh," his mother said as she let her arms drop. "I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, it's just that it's been so long and we've missed you so."

John - Stephen nodded. "It's all right," he said, tentatively holding his arms out for a hug.

His mother threw her arms around him and started crying. "Oh son, we were all so worried about you. What happened to you?"

"Let's go inside Joan," said his dad. "Let's all go sit down and give Stephen a chance to relax and then we'll talk." He put an arm around his wife. "Is that alright with you son?"

He nodded and followed them inside, making sure that Sarah was part of the throng. "I'm sorry," he said, as his father pointed out a couch for him, "I suppose everyone, including me, was thinking that I'd remember everything when I saw you."

"We're sorry too, Stephen. We didn't mean to crowd you like that. For us this is just such wonderful and exciting news because we were beginning to think the worst had happened and we'd never see you again," Gloria said. "It's been such agony not knowing where you were or what happened to you these past few months. We didn't understand how you were seeing all this because, well, we're so very happy to have you back with us."

"That's right son, we didn't mean to overwhelm you," his mother smiled warmly. "You just sit and talk, I'll go in the kitchen and make some tea for everyone."

"You sit down too, mum," said Gloria. "I'll go make the tea, you stay here and talk to Stephen."

The golden retriever walked up to John, set his head on his lap and thumped his tail loudly.

"I'm afraid the dog doesn't understand that you don't remember him," Gloria laughed. "Would you like me to take him out back and lock him out of the house for now, Stephen?"

The dog looked completely content, and he rubbed its head. "No, no, he's no trouble at all. What's his name?"

"Faraday," Gloria said, "after the scientist."

"Well, you're a sweetheart, Faraday," he said, mushing the dog.

Faraday responded by putting his paws on John's shoulders and enthusiastically licking his face.

Sarah watched and laughed, but something was tugging at the back of her mind. She hadn't thought very much about what it would mean to her if John found his family again. She'd come to enjoy having him around all the time.

Suddenly she realized how empty her life was going to be without John in it.


	18. Chapter 18

"I take it," John said when he could maneuver his face to where it was possible to talk without being licked, "that this is my dog."

"Sure he's your dog," laughed the older man who looked a lot like him. "He looks just like you, little brother."

John looked up at him. "Not as much as you do, er..." He couldn't bring himself to ask, 'what's your name again?'

"Mitchell, Mitchell the Magnificent to be precise, but I guess you can call me Mitch or Your Highness. It's all the same to me. " He looked over at Sarah Jane and smiled. "Aren't you going to introduce your friend?"

John sprang to life. "Yes, yes of course! Everyone, this is Sarah Jane Smith. She literally saved my life, and she's been taking care of me ever since. Sarah Jane... everyone," he said, motioning to the crowd.

Sarah looked over at them and smiled. "It was nothing really. Anyone would have done the same."

"Well if my son says you saved his life, Miss Smith, then my whole family owes you a debt of gratitude," said Stephen's father. "I'm Robert, by the way, this is my wife Joan," he said giving her shoulder a squeeze. "That handsome fellow over there is Stephen's older brother Mitchell," he said as he pointed him out. "Stephen probably doesn't remember it, but he's always called him 'Itchy Mitchy,' " he laughed.

Joan laughed too. "Those two are always teasing each other."

"I'm an only child you know," said Mitchell. "Stevie over there isn't human. Monkeys left him here for mum and dad to raise."

"They must have seen you first and figured a family of friendly gorillas lived there," John said, trying to get into the spirit of the thing.

"That sounds exactly like my Stephen," Gloria said as she walked into the room. "Now if you boys can stop pounding your chests for a while, tea is being served in the dining room."

They all retreated to the dining room, where every member of the family seemed to be competing with each other to tell stories about Stephen's past, as though they were hoping that perhaps just the right story would bring everything flooding back. Some were funny, some were heartfelt, but none of them were familiar, and after a couple of hours and what seemed like a gallon of tea, John was more than ready to head back to South Croydon. He let out a huge exaggerated yawn. "I'm so sorry, everyone, but I'm afraid that I'm exhausted. Big hit on the noggin, you see," he said, pointing to the old wound.

"Stephen, could I see you alone for a few moments on the patio," Gloria asked him almost shyly.

"Um … sure," John said, and followed her outside.

Sarah watched the two of them walk together to the back of the house. As she sipped her tea, it suddenly dawned on her that she wasn't going to marry John. He was going to marry Gloria when his memory came back. She thought about the box of wedding invitations they picked out, which had been delivered just two days ago. She decided that she definitely didn't like the way she was feeling at this moment.

Gloria reached down and took John's hand as they walked out of the room. She was happy to notice that though he did seem a bit tentative about it, he didn't pull away. Maybe he was starting to remember her, even if it was subconsciously. When they reached the patio she motioned towards a couch with overstuffed cushions on it. She sat down and waited for John to sit next to her. Then she slipped her hand in his. "I'm sorry that this is so difficult for you, Stephen. I'm sure you understand that it's difficult for us too."

"Yes, I do," he said. "Believe me, I do." What he didn't say is, 'It's difficult for everyone, including Sarah.'

"How do you feel about us, Stephen?"

He was genuinely taken aback by the question. "Er … I don't … I don't know you. I mean, I guess I do, but I don't know that I do. I know everyone's trying so hard to be understanding, and I wish that I could just … remember, but I can't."

Gloria nodded. "No one wants to pressure you, Stephen. In fact, I'm not sure you're going to believe this, but we're all really holding back most of our feelings for your sake. Honestly, darling, if I were to do what I really wanted to right now, you might run away from me and that's the last thing I want."

"I appreciate that. It's all a bit … overwhelming."

"I was thinking, if you're comfortable with it Stephen, you're welcome to stay the night with us. Perhaps you'll remember something if you sleep in your own bed in your own room. I'll even sleep in the guest room so you won't feel any undue stress about it."

John felt his heart begin to race - and not in a good way. He was pretty sure that panic was an over-reaction, but it didn't matter, because it was happening anyway. He felt himself standing and backing away, shaking his head. "No, I … I don't think that's a good idea. Not yet. I just … I need some time to adjust to all this. I just … I need … I don't know what I need, but I'm pretty sure that's not a good idea," he said, feeling his back hit the patio door.

"It's alright Stephen dear, it was just an idea. If you're not ready yet, then you're not ready. Maybe another time, alright," she looked up at him and smiled as calmly as she could.

"Yes, right, of course, it's just an idea," he said, fumbling with the patio door latch. "Just an idea, and maybe one day it will be a good idea, but not tonight, definitely not tonight." He finally got the patio door open and burst back through it.

Gloria sighed and got up, quietly following him back into the house. "I believe that Stephen is ready to go home with you now, Miss Smith. Thank you so much for bringing me home and for taking such good care of Stephen for us." She turned to John and held her hand out. "Please come and visit us again soon." She looked as if she was going to burst into tears, but she held herself in check.

John looked at her, and at her hand, completely at a loss. He knew that he should be feeling something, and he was; he was feeling badly about how she felt, and guilty for making her feel that way. He took her hand, unsure of whether to shake it or pull her into a hug, and looked around the room at everyone staring at him, their faces full of shock, disbelief, and even, he was absolutely certain, anger. He dropped her hand.

Then he ran.


	19. Chapter 19

John ran out of the room, out of the house, into the street. He ran like he was on fire, and he kept running until he couldn't breathe, his lungs burning, the dusk-lit world beginning to swim around him.

He spun frantically around to see where he was, but nothing looked familiar. He hadn't studied maps of this area, and even the street names were strange.

He wanted to jump out of his skin, to scream, to throw himself on the ground … to be home, in South Croydon.

* * *

><p>Back with Gloria and the Parker family, Sarah Jane was shocked too. She turned to all of them in astonishment. "Sorry, I'll be back soon." She didn't wait for a reaction, she just ran out the door looking for John. When she finally found him, he was sitting on a curb with his head in his hands. She didn't say anything, instead she sat down next to him, waiting.<p>

"I'm completely destroying them," he finally said. "I'm destroying everybody."

Sarah put her arm around his shoulder and leaned against him. "Let's talk about it, shall we John?"

John nodded. "They all want … they all want Stephen, and I can't be what they want me to be."

"You're right. Until and unless you remember being Stephen Parker, you're John Sidney Tinker. But, that doesn't mean you get to run away from your family, John. They love you. It's not wrong for you to feel the way you do and it's not wrong for them to want Stephen back. I talked to them, and they all told me that they're willing to wait as long as it takes for you to remember them. No one wants to make you do anything you don't want to."

"They say that, but … but look at them! Every time they tell a story and I don't remember it, it just cuts a little bit of their heart out. You can see it in their faces. They smile, they act patient, but it's not a real smile. It's a smile that you put on when you don't want someone to know how angry and hurt you are. I'm hurting them, Sarah. I'm hurting them and there's nothing that I can do about it."

Sarah listened to him and his reasoning, but it didn't make any sense. She knew they weren't angry, but she wondered what it was in John's past that would make him think that they were. Perhaps it was just all of the stress of the day. "I can't lie to you, John," she said, trying to soothe him, "they are hurting, but they're not angry. Of course, they hurt a lot less now, knowing that you're alive and well."

She felt bad for Gloria and the Parkers, but right now John was her primary concern. "You're hurting too right now, aren't you John, and they can feel that. No one wants to be hurt or to hurt anyone else. They've all said that they understand that it's going to take time, and they're feeling just as awkward right now as you are. It's a difficult situation all round. You can't assume the whole burden for everything."

"Why not?" he said, turning to face her urgently. "I'm the one disappointing everyone. I'm not what they want me to be. I'm not what my parents want me to be, I'm not what my fiance wants me to be, I'm not …" He stopped for a moment, unsure. "I'm not what I promised **you **I'd be." He put his head in his hands. "I'm a perfect failure, all around."

Sarah just sat there for a moment, shocked at the intensity of his reaction. What had happened to him that even buried in his subconscious it managed to bubble to the surface like molten lava?

She couldn't speak for the Parkers, but as for her, if anyone was to blame right now in her mind, it was the Doctor. If he hadn't dumped her and gone running back to Gallifrey, she wouldn't be in the mess she was in. Here was poor John tearing himself up inside trying to be everything to everybody without a thought about what was best for him, while the Doctor spent all his time running from people and situations he didn't want to face or even acknowledge.

She thought about that. As long as she'd known the Doctor, he was always running away from life. When had she ever known him to run **to**someone for love, for comfort or to share his life with? Nothing could help her, but she knew she had to help John.

"John," she said determinedly. "You didn't ask for any of this to happen, it just did. Can you honestly tell me that you wanted to have an accident and lose your memories? Are you deliberately trying to hurt the people in your family that love you? Are you willfully causing all this conflict in your life?"

"No, of course not," he said. "I wouldn't do this to anyone if I could possibly avoid it, but that's what I mean. All of those things that have happened, they've just taken my life out of my hands, and now all I can do is hurt people."

"You're not hurting people, John, the results of your accident are what's causing this pain, and it's still taking it's toll. You have to understand, you're a victim in all this just as everyone else who loves you is."

John didn't say anything for a few moments. Instead he just leaned his head on her shoulder.

Sarah stayed there with him like that for a long time. Finally, she turned to him. "John, we need to go back and talk to your family now. Then we can go home, all right?"

John swallowed hard. "All right, I suppose you're right."

"Look, just be patient and give them a chance. They really want you to be happy too, you know." She stood up, brushed off her pants and held her hand out to him.

John let her help him haul himself to his feet, then brushed himself off and quietly took her hand again as they walked back to the house. He was surprised at how far he had run, and by the time they got back, the adrenaline was long gone and he was exhausted. Still, he silently mounted the steps, trying not to look like a condemned man.

Sarah Jane smiled at him encouragingly. "It'll be over in a few moments and then we'll go home. Just apologize politely and say goodbye, John."

He nodded, then knocked gently on the door.

Gloria answered it, her eyes red and swollen. "Thank you for coming back, Stephen. We're sorry that we upset you," she said softly.

He came back into the house. "I'm … I'm the one who's sorry. I … know that everyone means well, and I … didn't mean to hurt you." He turned to everyone. "Any of you."

"This is a problem for all of our family son, especially you," said his father.

"We don't know what to do or how to act around you, Stephen," his mother said.

"I shouldn't have teased you yet. I'm really sorry about that," Mitchell said, bowing his head.

"Actually, Itchy Mitchy, that was probably the least of my problems," John said. "I just feel like you all have expectations, and I'm not able to live up to them."

"Try not to worry about it dar- I mean Stephen," Gloria smiled. "We all just need a little time to get used to each other again."

Faraday walked up to John, sighed, laid his head on his shoe and looked up at him sadly.

Sarah couldn't help it. She had to laugh at John's dog. He really did remind her of him in a lot of ways.

John leaned down and rubbed the dog's head. "I appreciate everyone's understanding. I think that I ought to … go back to Sarah's and get some rest. If that's all right with everyone."

"Of course it's all right, Stephen, we're not trying to hold you prisoner here, you know." Gloria walked over and stood next to him. "You will come back to visit us again though, won't you?"

"Of course," he said, and managed a weak smile. He tried to figure out what to do next. Should he give her a kiss on the cheek? A hug? Squeeze her hand? Finally, he waved awkwardly and stumbled back out the door.

Sarah shook her head at him dotingly. She turned to everyone in the room. "Uhm, you really are quite a lovely family and it was a pleasure to meet all of you. Hopefully things will be a bit calmer next time. Toodles." She waved goodbye and joined John outside.

As they walked to the car, she kept thinking about the look on their faces. Why did she feel as if she were stealing John from his family?

"I'm sorry about all this," John said as they got in the car to go home.

"No need to apologize, John. You were just reacting to your feelings." She pulled away from the drive and onto the road. She had to admit she was glad to be going back home and that John was with her. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Honestly," John said, "I'm completely knackered. Would you mind if we just went home and I went to bed? I'm too tired and too full of tea to even eat dinner."

"I think that's probably a good idea. I'll just warm up some leftovers and work for a while and then quit for the day too."

They were silent the rest of the way home, each of them lost in their own thoughts. When they arrived at the house it was so late that even Lavinia had already gone to bed. Sarah said goodnight to John and headed towards the kitchen to have dinner.

After some cold chicken, a plate of mushy peas, bread with treacle and some chocolate pudding that was almost ready to be thrown away, Sarah Jane sat down to work. A couple of hours later, after her fourth yawn, she decided it was time for bed.

She was almost asleep when she heard an urgent knock on her bedroom door.


	20. Chapter 20

"Sarah!" John called. "Sarah, are you awake?"

"Just barely," she answered back. "Hang about John, I'll be right there." She turned on her nightstand lamp and donned the bathrobe at the end of her bed. She stumbled to the door. "What's wrong?"

John looked like he was about to say something, then stared at her. "Are you … um … all right?"

"Yes, why?" She gave him a puzzled look.

"Your … your hair. You look like you got electrocuted."

Sarah reached up and ran a hand through her hair, and realized that she'd been tossing and turning for some time trying to get to sleep. "Oh my heavens," she laughed, smoothing down her hair. "I must look a fright!"

"No," John said, "you look … really nice, it just surprised me." He shook his head to clear it. "But never mind that, this is really important."

Sarah looked at him. There was definitely something bothering him. "Come on John, let's go downstairs where we can talk. I'll make us some hot cocoa."

John nodded, bouncing impatiently as she threw on her robe, followed him and started to make the cocoa. He was clearly trying to polite and wait, but he seemed about to burst.

Sarah Jane set two cups on the kitchen table and then sat down. "Alright John, I can tell you're about to explode, what is it?"

"It's not real. None of it is real," he said, pacing back and forth.

"What's not real?" Sarah asked, picking up her cup with both hands and blowing on it.

"Stephen Parker. Well, Stephen Parker, and the whole Parker clan. It's not real."

Sarah perked her head up. She was definitely awake now, and John had her complete and undivided attention. "What makes you think that, John?"

"Well, think about it," he said. "It's just too perfect. A physics teacher, with a fiancée, and two wonderful parents. Then there's a dopey older brother, and everybody's so happy and understanding. Even the neighbors seem wonderful."

Sarah was somewhat shocked. "Are you saying that you don't believe they're real because they're too nice? Would you be more likely to accept them if they were less respectable and looked a bit more scruffy?"

"No, of course not, scruffy has nothing to do with it. But think about this," he said, plopping down into a kitchen chair, "all of those people, desperate to find Stephen Parker, and in four months of supposedly looking for me, nobody calls any of the police stations we've sent information to? I know for a fact we plastered all of the stations in that area with fliers. All of those neighbors, and nobody's seen a poster we've put out? None of the undoubtedly hundreds of students Stephen Parker is supposed to have taught recognized me from it? For heaven's sake," he said, almost spilling his cocoa as he suddenly stood again, jarring the table, "your Aunt Lavinia saw a story you wrote about me in Australia, you mean to tell me not one person who knew Stephen Parker saw anything we put out?"

Sarah thought about it. "That's a valid point, John, but I suppose it's possible that no one in that area saw one of the posters. Quite a few places didn't want to put them up, and then there was that really bad rain storm that got a lot of them wet and damaged. Some of them got covered with graffiti and others were torn down or had another poster put over them. A lot can happen to a piece of paper in four months John." She saw he wasn't convinced. "Tell you what, why don't I call Gloria first thing tomorrow and talk to her about it?"

"And speaking of Gloria," John said, pacing. "I feel bad about her leg and all, but for someone who's just gotten out of hospital, she walks awfully well on it. Wouldn't she need to wait for it all to heal up before she could even get a prosthesis? And wouldn't she need physical therapy, or something? Wouldn't that take a long time? And she'd be conscious and able to ask people, 'Hey, what happened to my fiance, he was in the accident with me.' The so-called accident wasn't that far away. She might even have been in the same hospital you brought me to that day."

Sarah listened to him, wondering if John was trying to avoid dealing with a family that meant everything and yet nothing to him. How would she feel if she found herself in a room full of strangers who claimed to know her and intimate details about her life with them?

Maybe John didn't want to remember. Maybe he preferred his life with her and - No, this had to stop right now. How dare she entertain the thought for one minute that she had any claim on John or his life? Just because she needed someone to help her out of her mess, it was still no excuse to want John to be deprived of his real family. John would willingly do anything, sacrifice anything for the sake of her happiness. She owed it to him to do the same and to behave responsibly.

"John," she said, "are you just being suspicious, or are you looking for a reason not to accept these people as your family? Let's look at the positive evidence for a moment. They have several photo albums filled with pictures of you and them, and the Parkers very strongly resemble you. They have all sorts of information on you and your teaching career, and finally you must believe that Faraday is your dog, he wouldn't leave your side the whole time we were there."

John stared at her for a moment. "OK, well, I can't explain the dog. He was awfully sweet, wasn't he?" He smiled. "But never mind that, what about the fact that Stephen and Gloria were … well, you know. I mean, they're not married, but they've been … sharing a bed for two years? Does that **sound **like something I would do?"

Sarah tried not to let John's suspicions get the best of her. He was making it oh-so-easy right now for her to turn him away from the people who might really be his family. But no, she was determined to put him first. She shook her head. "Not the John Sydney Tinker that I know, but remember, neither of us know much about Stephen Parker. I actually do think that you have some valid questions and we should certainly be cautious, but we should also be open-minded and fair as well. There is a chance that they are your family and if that is the case, it would be very wrong to push them away and hurt them even more. Besides, what would they possibly have to gain by pretending to be your family if they're not?"

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe they're looking for publicity. After all, we put out an awful lot of those fliers. Maybe they know who I am and I'm important to them. Maybe they think I have something they want. Maybe this is some elaborate scheme to … I dunno, to fleece my real family out of a fortune." He waved his arms, exasperated. "Maybe they're aliens and I'm an escaped lab rat! Of course," he considered, "in that case it would mean that I'm an alien too, and I don't think I could stomach that, but it's beside the point. Who cares why they're doing it, I'm telling you that it's not real!" he shouted.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Look, I understand what you're saying, Sarah, but I'm absolutely convinced that they're not really my family." He drained his now-cooled cocoa in one draught. "Good night," he said, then headed back out to the workshop.

"Good night," Sarah called out to him, then headed back to bed. 'Poor John,' she thought, 'he's so absolutely certain that he's right about all this. First thing tomorrow, I'm going to start an investigation on the Parker family and Gloria Ridgeway. I won't say anything to him, though, until I can prove something one way or the other.'

She crawled into her bed and pulled the covers up, pondering the possibility that maybe John was right. As she thought about it, she began to relax, and in a few moments, she fell into a sound sleep.

* * *

>John, meanwhile, paced back and forth in the workshop for a few minutes before trying to calm down and get to sleep. He was so exhausted, first from his adrenaline-pumped run, and then from his adrenaline pumped tirade, that by now he could barely keep his eyes open. But as he fell asleep, the images of the day swirling in his head, he was positive that he was right, and that there was something fishy about this whole situation.<p>So perhaps nobody was more surprised than he was when he woke up in the morning and remembered everything. Gloria, his family, his dog, his life. He was Stephen Parker.<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

Sarah got up early and was in the kitchen making John his favorite breakfast - a proper six course fry - hoping it might calm him down and put him in a better frame of mind. She looked up when she heard the door of the fix-it shop slam. 'So much for him being calmed down,' she thought. There was John looking all excited as she saw him come out of his workshop and break into a run towards the house. She shut the stove off and headed towards the back door, opening it as he screeched to a halt in front of her. He was grinning widely. "What is it, John," she asked, returning his smile.

"I remember," he practically shouted. "I remember everything!" He picked her up and swung her around. "You're wonderful, and I remember everything!" He set her down. "I guess I just needed to sleep on it."

"You're memory is back? Oh John, that is wonderful news. I'm so happy for you. Come sit down and tell me all about it, breakfast can just wait a while."

"I really am Stephen Parker," he said. "All those stories that were just words yesterday, I realize that they're all true. I remember Gloria, and my brother, and my parents, and Faraday. I remember it all, even the accident."

Sarah was in a state of shock. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but John's revelation made her feel sick all over. Suddenly her head ached and her stomach felt queasy. She tried to look as happy for him as she could. "Oh my, John, or should I start calling you Stephen now? That's wonderful news, I suppose you'll want to call Gloria up and make arrangements to go see her at once." She sat down, feeling like she might faint.

John was at her side immediately, lowering her into the chair. "Never mind that, are you all right?"

Sarah smiled up at him. She didn't want him to see how crushed she was at the thought of losing him. "Of course I am. I just get a little shaky on my feet and a bit queasy sometimes, it's all part of the whole morning sickness thing. If I sit here for a few moments I'm sure it'll go away."

"OK, well, you sit," he said warily, sitting down next to her. "So the first thing is I want you to know is that I'm not abandoning you. Yes, I got my life back, and yes, I do want to call Gloria, but I'm not going to disappear out of your life. I'm going to finish the beacon for you and everything. You're not going to be alone."

Sarah Jane wanted to burst into tears at that moment. 'Why did John have to be so nice?' No, he wasn't John anymore, he was Stephen now, and even if they stayed friends, everything had changed for them and nothing would ever be the same again. Soon he'd be moving out and going back where he belonged.

She looked at him. He looked so happy, and at the same time, he was concerned for her. "Thank you, I promise I won't be taking up too much of your time. After all, you need to get your life back on track now."

"Sarah, you gave up your whole life to take care of me. You can't take too much of my time. I mean that."

"Nonsense, I didn't give up anything. Not only that, I gained a fantastic new friend. Now, what about calling that special someone of yours? I believe you have a small velvet box that you'll be wanting to give to her when you see her."

John looked confused for a moment, then almost stricken. "I almost forgot about that." Then he perked up. "I will, but … when the time is right. Though we should make that call then, shouldn't we?" he said, getting up and getting the phone. "She gave you her number, right?"

"Yes she did. I left it by my notepad so I wouldn't lose it."

John found the number and dialed it. Soon it was ringing.

"Hello," Gloria answered after a few rings.

"Gloria, it's Stephen."

"Stephen? Oh how wonderful to hear your voice again. I'm so glad you called," she exclaimed.

"Thanks, Gloria. Listen, I am so sorry about yesterday. I suppose I just needed time to sleep on it, but I woke up this morning and I remembered everything."

"You did? Oh darling," she started laughing and crying at the same time. "That's wonderful. I can't begin tell you how happy that makes me. Would you like me and Mitch to come and pick you up? I wouldn't want to take advantage of Miss Smith. I'm sure she's got better things to do than act as your chauffeur."

John/Stephen laughed. "Slow down, Gloria, I'm happy too, and I am going to come over, but I have a few things to do here first, all right? Can you give me a little while to finish up?"

"Of course I can. I'll be there in a few hours. I can't wait to see you." She hesitated for a moment. "I love you."

He hesitated for a just a moment, then said, "I love you too. See you later." He turned back to Sarah. "I … um … I'm not really sure what to do at this moment. I mean, I really like the fix-it shop, and I really like my job at UNIT, but I don't see how I can do both of those and keep my job at the school. I mean, I suppose I could go on sabbatical for a year, nobody would question that, and -"

Sarah put her fingers up to John's mouth. "It's alright, don't worry about a thing. UNIT and the fix-it shop aren't what's important here. What really matters is you getting your life back and doing what makes you happy. You and Gloria have so many things to talk about right now and so many plans to make. Give yourself time, everything else can wait."

He gave her a huge hug. "Have I mentioned that you're wonderful?"

Sarah tapped him on the shoulder. "Get along with you and go get ready. Your fiancee is waiting to see you."

He smiled at her again and bounded back out to the workshop.

Sarah Jane watched him for a moment. "I'm wonderful all right," she said out loud to herself. "So wonderful that every time I start to get close to someone, they leave me."

But there was more to it than just her wounded ego; John's doubts the night before had gotten under her skin, and there was a big part of her that was just plain worried that something wasn't right here. And if something was wrong, something had to be done about it, and quickly. Under normal circumstances, she'd immediately be on the trail of the story, but not this time. John trusted her, and if he thought she were trying to undermine him...

She walked over to the phone and dialed the Brigadier.

"Lethbridge-Stewart," came the curt reply.

"Alistair, it's Sarah Jane. I'm so sorry, but I need your help again."

"What's wrong," the Brigadier asked. She sounded so vulnerable that there was no exasperation in his voice now, only worry.

"It's John. Yesterday a woman came into the police station claiming to be his fiancee. We went to the station and she positively identified him. Then John and I went to visit his house and his family and it all seemed quite normal, but now my instincts are telling me that something's not right about all this. Last night, John said he didn't think it was right either. He was completely convinced that in spite of all the proof they produced, it simply wasn't real. Then this morning he woke up and told me that he's got his memory back and all at once, he's absolutely sure these people really are his family," Sarah let it all tumble out. "Can you investigate them for me? If they are his family, then fine, I'm happy for him, and I wish him well. But if they're not, then he could be walking into real danger."

The Brigadier listened while Sarah recounted all of the 'evidence' that John had been using in his arguments the previous night, already setting the machinery in motion to check things out. "And you say that he's asked her for a few hours before he goes back there?"

"Yes, is that enough time for you? I could try to stall them before they leave."

"Perhaps. I'm just wondering; if he's really in love with this Gloria person, why is he hesitating? It just doesn't seem like him. I think you're right, something is very, very wrong there, and I intend to get to the bottom of it. Hold on a moment." Sarah could hear muffled talking as he gave instructions to Benton. "Now, what about you, Sarah Jane? This has to hurt."

"To be honest with you, it does, but I'll be fine. It's John I'm really worried about. I want him to be happy, but if this isn't real, what are these people up to?"

"Let's not jump to conclusions," the Brig said. "I suppose it's possible that everything is legitimate. But Mister Tinker is in a rather sensitive position with UNIT, and I'm afraid I can't afford to be cavalier with either his safety or his security. I'll do some checking on this end and call you back shortly."

Sarah sighed with relief. "Thank you Alistair, I knew I could count on you."


	22. Chapter 22

The Brigadier was concerned. Extremely concerned. First John Doe - Tinker, he reminded himself - turns up with no memory. Had he been so preoccupied with his suspicions that he may be the Doctor that he'd missed something else important? Was John the "patient zero" of the strange amnesia epidemic that was plaguing his people?

And if he wasn't, perhaps it was inevitable that his new Xenotechnology Specialist would be targeted in whatever else was going on at UNIT. Sarah Jane's concerns - and those of John himself last night - were more than merited.

So there was no way that he was simply going to let John Tinker walk into whatever trouble was brewing, even if it were legitimate. Part of him was angry at Sarah Jane for not letting him know immediately, but of course she had other things on her mind, if she'd thought that all of this were true.

But now he did know, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. "Benton, let Mister Tinker know that I need him to come in and handle an emergency."

"An emergency, sir?" Benton asked.

"Yes. In fact, go pick him up at his home, and under no circumstances are you to allow him leave with anyone else. We'll decide what the emergency is by the time you get back."

* * *

><p>Sarah made herself a cup of tea after John left with Benton and sat down to wait for the Brig to call her back. She asked herself if she was only trying to protect John, or if there was there something more to it than that. Until she had seen John with Gloria, she hadn't given much thought to her feelings about it.<p>

It had been enough for her that she felt comfortable with him and that she trusted him. Sure, he was fun to be with, and she had no trouble at all admitting that she liked having him around all the time. But what if it was more than that? Why did she feel so lost when she thought about him moving out of not just the house, but her life?

Of course, they would stay friends if he really had found his family, but things would never be the same between them. 'John's just a friend,' she told herself. 'I'm in love with the Doctor. I always have been, since the moment I met him. I can't be in love with anyone else.'

As she took a sip of tea, her imagination started to get the best of her. She kept thinking about John and Gloria alone in their home together. She wondered what they would say to each other. Maybe they wouldn't even talk very much, maybe they would simply try to make up for all the lost time between them.

The thought of John hugging and kissing Gloria made her angry and miserable at the same time. Why couldn't she be happy for him, and what was taking the Brig so long anyway? She got up and practically threw her teacup in the sink. "Sarah Jane Smith you are absolute rubbish," she said aloud.

Lavinia Smith was brushing her teeth and not quite awake yet when she heard Sarah shouting to herself. "What on earth is the matter, Sarah Jane dear," she called out as she finished up and headed quickly downstairs. "That's no way for a bride-to-be to talk," she said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Bride-to-be, that's a laugh," Sarah said as she plopped into a chair.

"Are we getting cold feet?" Lavinia said. "Or is John? Though I must say, he doesn't seem the type."

"He's not, and I don't have cold feet either. Oh Auntie, even though I don't want to believe it, and at first, even John didn't, I can't help but be concerned about the fact that John may have gotten his memory back. And if it is true, then he has a fiancee and a family. I'm worried that when he goes home with them in a couple of hours, he could be walking into a dangerous trap."

Sarah looked over at the sink and her discarded cup and wondered if she'd been too hasty. "On the other hand, if they really are his family, then there's still going to be a wedding, but it won't be John's and mine. It'll be his and Gloria's. You see, supposedly, his real name is Steven Parker. And the worst thing about all this is, I'm not happy for him. Even worse still, if it is true, I think I'm jealous of her. That's why I'm total rubbish," she said as she buried her head in her hands.

Lavinia put an arm around her shoulder. "Of course you're not rubbish. It's only natural that you should be jealous of her if this is all real. Whether you want to admit it or not, you have feelings for John."

"That's just it, I only realized a few moments ago when I thought about losing him forever how I feel about John! What's wrong with me? How can I love him and the Doctor?"

"The same way you love him and you love me. You love them in different ways. The Doctor is your wild man, your adventure. John is your stability. They're different men, and you love them in different ways."

"Wild Man? Oh, I'll grant you he's as adventurous as they come, but a wild man?" She couldn't help herself, she laughed. "Why a wild man, Aunt?"

"We're talking about a man who thinks nothing of diving straight into danger, and taking you with him. He's the kind of man who runs **into** a burning building."

"Well, I have to admit, you have me there. He's exactly that kind of man. In his defense, though, he always takes care to keep me as safe as possible."

"Yes, but let's face it, the attraction isn't him keeping you safe, is it."

"No," Sarah Jane said, sitting down and motioning for her aunt to join her. "At first the attraction was the excitement of being with him. Then after a time, I realized that he had somehow become my whole life. I couldn't imagine living without being by his side. I still miss him more than I could ever say. I'd give anything right now just to see him and hear him call my name," she sighed. "I love him."

"All right, so you love him. And John?"

Sarah smiled at the thought of John. "He's sweet and kind and ever so gentle. He cares so much for me and the baby and he's completely unselfish about it. He's brilliant but modest, he's considerate, fun to be with and to talk to. In short, he's just the way I always pictured the Doctor would be if he were human. He reminds me so much of him, and yet, he's his own person, and I love that about him too."

"Sounds like you have perfectly valid reasons to love each of them. The Doctor's not here, so he can't be hurt that you love John, and John understands that you're always going to love the Doctor. So what, exactly, is the problem?"

"If it does turn out that this isn't John's family and he comes back here, what happens if I marry him and the Doctor comes back for me? The baby is his even though he or she will have John's last name. I love both of them but I can only live with one of them." She threw her hands up as another thought entered her mind. "And what happens if John marries Gloria and the Doctor never comes back? I'll raise this baby by myself if I have to, no matter what price I have to pay emotionally. I swear, I will never fall in love with another man as long as I live."

She leaned her head back in frustration. "Love is a mess no matter how you look at it. It breaks your heart and makes a train wreck out of your life. You're the smart one Auntie, you were too wise to get emotionally entangled with anyone."

Inside, Lavinia was smiling. Perhaps now they could finally get to the bottom of things. "So you're worried about having both of them or neither of them. But you don't seem too concerned about having just one."

Sarah Jane stopped cold. Her aunt was right, she hadn't actually thought about having just the Doctor or just John. "Oh Auntie, I am a terrible person and I don't know what to do about it. What if I have to chose between them? How can I do this to either of them? For that matter how can I do this to myself and my baby? What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, and you haven't done anything to anyone, including yourself or your baby. But you will if you don't pull yourself together. Where is John now?"

"He's at UNIT talking to the Brigadier. Then he's going over to his house to talk to Gloria, his fiancee," she paused. It sounded so strange to say that. She shook her head as if shaking it could make the thoughts go away. "I guess that means we're not engaged any more, doesn't it? I suppose I should go shopping for a wedding gift for them," she said bitterly.

Lavinia said nothing, simply drawing her into a hug.

* * *

><p>The Brigadier hung up the phone, then sighed deeply and pinched his eyes together. The call itself was completely unremarkable; it merely confirmed what he already suspected. But in the overall scheme of his day, it was a mere blip. First information leaks from within UNIT, then random incidents of amnesia, and now their first amnesiac, John DoeTinker, or whatever they were supposed to call him now, suddenly and mysteriously regaining his memory.

He didn't have to be a military genius to know that he needed to tread carefully.

As concerned as he was about the developing situation with Mister Tinker, he was just as worried about the leaks from within UNIT, and where they'd been coming from. He was fairly certain that Mister Tinker wasn't involved; most of the information that had been released had been both revealed and leaked during time periods in which he was never on base.

So it wasn't the slightest bit suspicious when he used his need to find the leak as the "emergency" for which he needed Mister Tinker on base. After all, he'd been the one to decipher the first listening device they'd found.

On the other hand, with all of the strange goings-on, there was always a chance that he was somehow enmeshed in the situation, so the Brigadier had decided to use that to his advantage.

If Tinker wasn't involved, he might be UNIT's best chance of finding the listening device, if there was one. If he was, then what he did - or avoided doing - might lead them to the answer. The Brigadier had assigned Benton to personally watch him - surreptitiously, of course - to see what they could find out.

It didn't make him feel any better.

Even though it was open, Harry Sullivan knocked at the Brigadier's door, medical files in hand.

"Come in, Sullivan," the Brig sighed, "don't stand on ceremony at this point. Did you find anything?"

"Well, yes and no, sir. That is to say, we found something that's common to all of the affected UNIT personnel, but I'm afraid it doesn't explain why 'Mister whatever he's calling himself now' had amnesia."

"Blast," the Brig said. "How do you know?"

"We went back and checked his original lab workup samples and there's nothing there to indicate that he had the same exposure then that we're seeing now. His amnesia was definitely caused by something else."

The Brig chewed on that for a moment. "All right, Sullivan, I've got another job for you."


	23. Chapter 23

John, or Stephen, as he now was calling himself, didn't exactly grumble as he stared at a snarl of equations trying to figure out how to solve them, but he definitely wasn't smiling. Normally, this kind of thing was what made him happy; he had a puzzle to solve, and puzzles were what he loved.

Going back to the original listening device that he'd found, he'd managed to get a glimmer of the complex modulation patterns it would have put out if it had been transmitting, but he hadn't yet figured out how to get it into some sort of form in which he could turn it over to the counter-surveillance people with their radio frequency spectrum analyzers and non-linear junction detectors.

But there was a little part of him that was beginning to wonder if there was even a bug at all. He was certain that calling him down to investigate it was a stall tactic on the part of the Brigadier, and although Benton had been nice - even apologetic - about it, the fact that he hadn't been on his own since he'd arrived just confirmed that for him.

He didn't even want to think about how the Brig had even known what was going on in the first place. He supposed that Sarah had called, worried after his tirade the night before, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry at her. Although as much as he tried to tell himself that his friends - or rather, John's friends - just cared about him, and that was why they were investigating his life, he was just getting more and more frustrated as time went on.

So when Harry came into his workroom, he wasn't the smiling happy man everyone had come to expect.

"I say old man, this is a bit of luck," Harry said, smiling at him and ignoring John's perturbed expression. "I had no idea you were here, but since you are, would you mind letting me take a sample of your blood? It will only take a minute."

John/Stephen looked at Harry incredulously. "It really is a conspiracy, isn't it," he said.

"Sorry? I'm afraid I'm clueless as to what you're getting at. So since I'm not sure what you mean by that, you'll have explain it for me."

"Harry, I've had wonderful news," he said, his tone not matching his words. "I've gotten my memory back. I have a complete life. A fiancee, a family, a job, everything. But it seems like the Brigadier is determined to keep me here doing ridiculous busy work while he checks everything out. For months we've been trying to find my past, now I have and nobody wants me to have it!" He slapped a screwdriver down on the counter. "What's the excuse for taking my blood then?"

"Oh my," Harry said in genuine shock. This was a side of him he'd never seen. Up until this moment, he couldn't picture John angry. Then another thought occurred to him. "How is Sarah dealing with all this, John," he asked, thinking of her in tears over losing another person she had trusted and learned to care for.

"Stephen," he said, calming down a bit. "My name is Stephen Parker. Sarah's handling it pretty well, actually. I promised her I was still going to build her that beacon and help her as much as I could. I'm not going to leave her in the lurch."

Harry felt his ire rising at the casual way he was treating Sarah's feelings. "Look _**Stephen**_, I know Sarah Jane and she's not about to tell you that she's had her heart broken again. She's too proud for that. I promise you this, though, I'll be there to pick up the pieces long after you're gone and you'll never get another chance to hurt her as long as there's breath in my body," Harry spat at him. "Now, you can do as you bloody well please, but I need a blood sample from somebody who's not on regular staff to use as a control, so are you going to give it to me or not?"

Stephen bristled a bit, then thrust his exposed arm at Harry. He told himself that Harry loved Sarah, and that he'd be good to her, but somehow it was cold consolation as Harry jabbed him perhaps a little harder than he might have under other circumstances.

Harry finished taking the blood, thanked him begrudgingly and left.

Stephen stared at the nameplate above his work area, which had been there since he first accepted the part-time job. "John Doe," it still said, as though that were normal.

That whole life seemed a dream to him now, and he wondered how he could ever have been that naive. Finally he looked at the clock and realized how late it was. Walking out of the room, he picked up the hallway phone's receiver and requested an outside line, then dialed Gloria.

"Hello," she answered, a sound of hope in her voice.

"Hello, Gloria, it's Stephen. I'm afraid I've been held up here at work for a while."

"Oh darling, I don't understand," Gloria said with obvious disappointment. "What kind of work are you doing and how could it be more important than us being together right now?"

"I know how you feel, but this is …" He scribbled idly in the margins of the paper as he stared at it. "I've been doing some engineering work for the UN, you see, and they've asked me to come in and help with... with an emergency." He picked up the paper and considered just chucking it in the trash. "I couldn't really say 'no', but maybe you can just come here to pick me up when I'm finished."

"Of course I will, sweetheart. How much longer do you think it will take?"

He erased the scribbles, deciding that he had to follow this through. "Probably another two or three hours. I'm so sorry."

"Oh," the happy tone in her voice disappeared. "Well, if you feel it's your duty, then I'll wait for you, Stephen. I hope you know how proud I am of you, my dearest."

He noticed the change in tone, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. "Thanks, Gloria. I'll call you when I'm through." He hesitated, then heard himself say "I love you."

He didn't realize how odd it sounded until she said "I love you too, Stephen."

They said goodbye, and he went back to work, thinking about it. Why shouldn't he tell her he loved her? He did, didn't he? He thought back to his conversation with Harry.

Looking back on it, he really had been uncharacteristically angry. It wasn't like him, he was sure of it. Which, of course, didn't make any sense. It was as though John was bleeding through, coloring his perceptions of Stephen. But still, of course Harry would be upset with him. And of course Sarah would be upset about everything, even if she didn't say anything. And Harry didn't even know the half of it!

By the time he'd finally completed the calculations, he'd decided that he couldn't let it go, and headed down to Harry's office to apologize. Sheepishly, he knocked on the door.


	24. Chapter 24

Harry opened the door and invited John in. He pointed to a stool next to the one where he was working. "Did you need something, Stephen," he asked, not rude, but somewhat cool.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm … er … I'm not myself. I suppose that's rather the problem. I mean, I know who I am, but … it's like a suit I haven't worn in a very long time, and it doesn't quite fit."

"In that case it would seem that there are some adjustments to be made, wouldn't you say." Harry stared hard at him, not angry, but sad on so many levels, considering what he had just discovered.

"I suppose so." He looked over Harry's shoulder at a series of chemical diagrams. "Is that what you wanted my blood as a control for?" Despite his frustration, he found his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Not exactly. Here, have a look at this old boy and tell me if you can make anything of it," Harry stepped aside to let him see what he had been doing.

"Compound B67," he read, looking at the molecular diagram. "It looks like a... a memory drug. Selective amnesia. Give this to someone and you can wipe out bits of their memory." He looked up suddenly. "Harry, is this why I lost my memory? Not the knock on the head?"

Harry shook his head. "Sorry, but we researched that and it wasn't the cause of your amnesia. I went back, and it wasn't in your blood when we originally examined you. However, it's very astute of you to understand part of what the drug does, try taking that approach a bit further and see what other conclusions you can come up with," Harry said, almost daring him to proceed.

"Well, I suppose that once you erased a set of memories, you'd need to replace them with something, or your victim would know that you'd messed with them. Like I knew I didn't have … " Realization dawned on him. "... any memory. Harry, you said it wasn't in my blood back in April, when I first came here. Is this in my blood now?"

"I'm afraid that it is, Mister Tinker," the Brigadier said as he quietly entered the room. "I apologize for the subterfuge, but we needed to make sure of what we were dealing with."

John took it all in. "So yesterday, when I said that I didn't think it was all real …"

"Sadly, you were correct. It took some doing, but I think you should see this," he said as he handed John a copy of the 1976 Saint Lawrence College yearbook, opened to a picture of the school's real physics professor, a dour looking man who definitely was not John.

"But I saw this yearbook yesterday, and it was me there," John said, but there was no conviction in his voice. "Are you … are you sure this is the real one?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but I had it verified. There's no one named Gloria Ridgeway in it either. I took the liberty of calling the Dean of the college for you and he told me he had never heard of either of you." The Brigadier placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. "I'm afraid none of what you've been told about your life as Stephen Parker is true. It was all brought on by this … compound B67, my boy."

John - and he was John, he reminded himself - suddenly felt like he had in Stephen Parker's house; as if he should be feeling something in particular, but he didn't. For example, he thought that he should be disappointed, even crushed, but he wasn't.

In fact, he thought he might be happy about it. Yes, he **was** happy about it. Very happy. "Harry, hand me that phone," he said quickly.

Harry looked over towards the Brigadier, silently asking for his permission. Friendship was one thing, but this was UNIT, and no matter how he felt about it, he knew that he needed to follow orders first.

The Brigadier nodded slightly, and Harry handed John the phone. He asked for an outside line and quickly dialed. It seemed like an eternity before anyone answered.

"Hullo," answered Sarah Jane. Her voice sounded small and empty.

"Sarah," John said excitedly. "Sarah it's me, John. I mean, really, John. I was right yesterday, it was all a fake, there is no Stephen Parker."

"What? I don't understand, just this morning you said you had gotten your memory back and you knew that you were Stephen Parker. What's happened since I last saw you?" Her heart was pounding. She tried to stay calm but her hand was shaking as she listened closely for John's answer.

"Turns out the whole thing really was a plot. I was drugged, this … Compound B67 let them wipe out my memory and then I guess that all those stories they told me just kind of filled the void."

Sarah smiled widely. "Then you're still John Tinker. Oh John, that's..." She stopped herself suddenly. "What I mean to say is that I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you. You must be so disappointed."

"But I'm not," he said, smiling now. "I'm not, Sarah, isn't that great? I'm going to make one stop and then I'm coming home."

"Oh John, be careful please. Let the Brigadier and the UNIT people handle this. Don't try to talk to any of them, your so-called family I mean, even to tell them what you think of them. It's not worth the trouble."

John laughed. "Are you kidding? That's not where I was going. I don't ever want to see those people again."

Sarah Jane laughed too. She was so relieved that she hadn't lost John. The moment he had told her he was coming home, she'd felt as if the weight of the universe had been lifted from her shoulders. She made up her mind then and there that when John walked through her front door, she was going to throw her arms around him and never let him go. She still loved the Doctor, but she knew now how much she needed John in her life. "Just come home, John, we have so much to talk about and so many plans to make."

"Absolutely," he said. "See you soon." He said goodbye, then asked Harry to call him a taxi while he gathered his things together. "I've got things to do," he shouted as he ran back to his workspace.

* * *

>Sarah Jane hummed to herself as she started to get the house ready for John's return. She ordered some special food delivered from the local gourmet shop and got out her best tableware and dishes. She also changed into a dress that she knew John really liked on her. She put on some soft music and looked over at the clock in the front room. 'John should be home any minute', she thought to herself, smiling with anticipation.<p>Lavinia had been prepared to comfort Sarah Jane, but when she saw her niece's demeanor, she suspected the cause. "I take it that your friend the Brigadier found something," she said.<p>

Sarah Jane ran over to Lavinia and gave her a huge hug. "Oh Auntie, John called and none of it was true. They somehow slipped him some sort of drug and he only thought he had his memory back. Those people weren't real at all, and not only is he happy about that, he's actually on his way home to us right now. He's going to walk through the door any second," she said, beaming with joy.

"It sounds like he's not the only one happy about it. I take it you've given some thought to just having one of them?"

"I have," she nodded. "I realized that even though I will always love the Doctor, I love John too and I really need him to be a part of my life. He's going to be a wonderful husband and father, just you wait and see, and I'm going to be the best wife and mother I can possibly be."

But two hours later, as Sarah Jane alternated between listening for traffic jams on the radio and trying to keep the food warm without drying it out, John still hadn't arrived.


	25. Chapter 25

Sarah Jane had been pacing non-stop for over half an hour. John should have been home long ago. She couldn't wait any longer. Finally, she picked up the phone and dialed the Brig. It felt like forever until she managed to get put through to him.

"Miss Smith, Benton says you sound upset. What's wrong?"

"Brigadier, is John still there," she asked anxiously.

The Brig cringed. "No, I'm afraid he left hours ago. One moment while I check with his driver. He wanted to take a taxi but I insisted he let us see him home." She could hear muffled speaking, and then he came back on the line. "The driver says he dropped Mr. Tinker off in front of your house several hours ago."

Sarah sat down hard. "He never came into the house," she said in almost a whisper. "Did he say anything to the driver about having a problem with coming home, or anything that indicated he didn't want to be here? When I spoke to him, he sounded as if he couldn't wait to get here."

More muffled speaking, then, "The driver says he didn't say much of anything at all on the way, but that he didn't stay to see if Mister Tinker went inside."

"Something's happened to him," Sarah said. "I just know he must be in trouble. What are we going to do?" She tried not to panic but it was useless. Deep in her heart she knew John was in danger.

There was quiet on the other end of the line for several seconds. "We're going to find him," the Brig finally said.

"Should I call the police in? After all, they're the ones that so-called family of his chose to go to when they wanted to claim him. Have you done anything about them yet?" She felt herself clicking into investigative mode. "It just occurred to me that they haven't called here looking for him. Doesn't that seem odd to you?" Now that she was sure that something was wrong, Sarah Jane was desperate, searching frantically in her mind for any clue that could lead her to John. If she had to she'd find him herself somehow, no matter what it took.

"As a matter of fact, Miss Smith, that is quite odd. But don't involve the police. I think that UNIT is going to handle this ourselves. Benton!" he shouted. "If you hear from him, Miss Smith, do call immediately, would you?"

"I want to be part of the search team you're getting together," she said firmly. "I don't mean that I want to be out with them looking, but you might as well know that with or without you, I intend to look for John until he's found and safe at home."

The Brigadier squeezed his eyes together. "All right, I know how you get when you're like this. But I should like to point out that we may all be over-reacting. He did say he had an errand to run before he came home, perhaps he realized he'd forgotten something and is still out getting it. What if he comes back to your home, and you're out looking for him?"

"Oh, never you fear, I'll be here alright, but that doesn't mean I won't be trying to find some way to help you." She said her goodbyes and hung up the phone with a determined expression on her face. 'Think, Sarah Jane, who could have taken John and why?' She headed out to John's workshop.

* * *

>Warrant Officer Benton made sure that all of his people were in place before banging on Gloria Ridgeway's front door. "Gloria Ridgeway, official business!" he shouted.<p>Gloria went to the door and opened it, giving Benton a look of confusion as she wondered who this man was and what he was on about. "What is it? Why are you shouting for me? Is something wrong?"<p>

"Miss Ridgeway," Benton said, "we'd like to speak with you about the disappearance of Stephen Parker, also known as John Tinker. May we come in?"

"This is about Stephen? What do mean he's disappeared?" she asked, her voice cracking. Gloria stood at the door, but didn't open it all the way. "Look," she said, recovering, "whoever you are, I'm afraid you've made a mistake. My fiance just called me a few hours ago and he was fine when I spoke to him. In fact, he's going to call me any moment to come pick him up at some place called UNIT."

Benton pointed to the patch on his shoulder. "Ma'am, we are from UNIT, and Mister … Parker has disappeared. We'd like you to come down with us in case you can help shed some light on the situation."

Gloria didn't budge an inch. Benton could hear a dog somewhere behind her start to growl. "How do I know this is real? Do you have any proper identification?"

Benton produced his identification. "Miss Ridgeway, being Mister Parker's fiancee, I'm sure that you're just as concerned his welfare as we are." He tried to look just menacing enough. "So I'd very strongly suggest that you come with us."

She looked at his ID and then back at him. "It seems to be in order. Can you give me a moment please? I want to call Stephen's brother so he knows where I am and I have to put the dog in the backyard so he's not locked up in the house."

"Of course," Benton said, stepping forward to make sure that he could enter the house with her.

Gloria seemed taken back when she realized that Benton was determined to enter her house. She looked past him and saw more men in uniform, then sighed as put her hand on Faraday's collar, both to hold him back and to be ready to let him attack if necessary. "Won't you come in," she said coldly as she stepped back to let him enter.


	26. Chapter 26

Warrant Officer Benton stepped carefully into the Ridgeway home, ready for anything. So far Gloria hadn't given him any trouble, but he didn't like having to come into the house with her, especially with the dog growling at him.

"Faraday, stop it," she said, and the dog sat carefully next to her, still watching him. She picked up a phone and dialed as Benton carefully made sure his people were on alert. He listened to what she told Mitchell Parker, knowing that both of their phones were tapped, hoping for some kind of clue as to John Tinker's whereabouts.

He doubted they would get it from this call; instead he waited for some sort of code word tipping Parker off to their presence, expecting an attack at any moment.

His soldier's reflexes sharpened with every passing second until the dog stood and before he could even react, it had knocked him down.

And licked his face.

It took Benton a moment to realize what was going on, and then Gloria was tugging it by the collar. "Farraday," she was saying, "behave yourself." She held a hand out to Benton, but his men were already helping him up, trying not to snicker. "I'm really very sorry, Officer Benton, I don't know what's gotten into him."

"That's all right," he said warily, noticing the dog's tail wagging enthusiastically.

Gloria handed him the phone. "Mitch would like to speak with you," she said, a hint of tearfulness in her voice.

Benton stayed cautious, not quite sure what was going on. "This is Warrant Officer Benton," he said.

"My brother's fiancee just informed me that my brother Stephen is not only missing, but that you're some sort of official and you want her to go with you someplace for questioning. Just exactly is going on and what do you want from us? I think some sort of explanation is in order here," he said. He sounded just the slightest bit confused.

"Mister Parker, I'm afraid that you have all of the information we do at the moment. Your brother has gone missing and I'm sure that you're just as anxious to find him as we are. As some of the last people to see him, both your information and Miss Ridgeway's will hopefully help shed some light on where he might be. In fact, you should be hearing from us -" Benton heard a loud pounding coming through the phone, then a muffled 'Mitchell Parker, official business!' He smiled. Not quite synchronized, but close enough. "That will be our people now."

"Just one moment please," Mitchell called out. "I need to answer the door before one of you people decides to bash it down Mister Benton. Is it really necessary to be so dramatic about it?"

"Mister Parker," Benton said evenly, "your Brother's life may be hanging by a thread. Is that dramatic enough for you?"

"What?" Suddenly Mitch realized how serious the situation really was. "How could this have happened? What can we do to help?"

Benton listened to the tone in his voice. Either these people were the best actors he'd ever seen, or they really didn't know what was going on. "Just come along with us, Mister Parker, and we'll go from there."

* * *

><p>Sarah opened the door to the fixit shop and stepped inside. As she looked around the room, it tugged at her heart. It was so like John, everything neatly in place except for the top of the work table. On it was a blender half taken apart, with the tools he had been using to fix it sitting alongside, abandoned. She ran her hand gently across the back of his chair. If only John were here so she could tell him how she felt about him. She sighed loudly.<p>

"Mistress," K-9 said, rolling up to her.

Sarah Jane jumped and spun around. "Oh it's you," was all she could bring herself to say to him.

"Affirmative, Mistress. I am the only other being present. No disambiguation required."

She eyed him for a moment. "You don't have any emotions do you," she asked cautiously. She didn't want to be cruel, but this tin dog was a painful reminder to her and she didn't want to deal with those memories right now; she was too concerned about John.

"I am a machine, mistress."

"Right, well look K-9, I've got a very serious problem I need to deal with right now, so why don't you just try to stay out of the way. I won't be here long and then you can go back to whatever it is you were doing." She turned her back to him and began looking around in the drawers at the sides of the table.

"May I be of assistance, Mistress," K-9 asked, remaining at a distance as she had requested.

"Sorry, I wish you could be, but I don't see how that's possible." She rummaged around in the drawers, but there was nothing useful in them as far as she could see. She looked around trying to think of the most logical place to search. She walked over to John's bed. It was unkempt and that was just not like him. Normally, the first thing he did in the morning was make the bed. "There's enough chaos in the world already," he'd told her. "No need for us to add to it."

She picked up his pillow and hugged it. "From the look of it, he must have tossed and turned all night," she mused out loud.

"Affirmative, Mistress. High degree of agitation evident. Behavior inconsistent with established norms."

Sarah dropped down on the bed and stared at K-9. "I wonder what else you could tell me about John," she mused, suddenly finding the littlle tin dog much more interesting. "Right then, tell me everything you know or have observed about John Sidney Tinker."

"John Sidney Tinker," he began, his ears rotating back and forth. "Human, approximately thirty-eight years of age, height and weight within established norms. Left-brained thinker with flashes of right-brained insight. Probable formal training in quantum and/or temporal physics and advanced mathematics. Highly organized, easily distracted unless engrossed in a project. Inconsistent behavior beginning this morning. Lack of fastidiousness and attention. Disposition decidedly negative despite positive outlook." He paused for a moment, a slight grinding noise emanating from him for just an instant. "Also, he snores."

"So I've heard," Sarah chuckled, remembering Harry's complaints. "Is there any way for you to locate him right now?"

"Negative, Mistress."

She leaned closer to him. "K-9, is there anything unique about John that could help trace him if he was missing? You see, I have reason to believe that he's been kidnapped and I need your help finding him."

K-9's ears rotated slightly for a few moments before he spoke. "Likelihood of John Sidney Tinker carrying tachyon particle micro-generator from incomplete beacon approximately 87.3298 percent. Suggest monitoring for Cherenkov radiation byproducts."

"Uhm, well I'm not sure if that's possible, but I'll be sure to pass that information on. In fact, I'm going to do that right now," she said, picking up the phone that had been installed in John's office just the week before and dialing the Brigadier's number.

"Lethbridge-Stewart," the Brigadier said curtly.

"Smith," said Sarah in return. "Look, I've got a possible clue that might lead you to John, but I'm not quite sure if you can use it or not."

"I'll take anything at this point, Miss Smith, what is it?"

"Do you have any idea what a tachyon particle micro generator is?"

"No, Miss Smith," he said tiredly, "I do not. Is it something Mister Tinker was working on? Should I get one of the boffins in here?"

"You might want to, you see John likely had one with him when he left this morning, it's probably in his pocket if I know him. At any rate, if he still has it on him you might be able to pick up some Russian sounding kind of radiation byproducts from it and trace him that way."

"Right, and how do you know all this, may I ask?"

K-9 rolled closer to Sarah Jane. "That would be Cherenkov radiation by-products Mistress."

The Brig pulled the phone away and looked at it for a moment. "Mistress? What sort of situation do you have over there now, Miss Smith?"

If Sarah weren't stressed out about John, she'd be laughing at this point. However, she was too concerned to find humor in anything right now. "That was just my source of information Brigadier, don't ask me about it now. Just get someone in there who understands about all this and see if they have a way to trace the radiation and find John."

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, calling in the scientists hadn't done the Brigadier any good. While they could detect Cherenkov radiation, its range was too short to be useful, and they didn't know of any "by-products" that would help. What's more, to a man they'd insisted that the existence of tachyon particles had yet to be proven, and that it was impossible that Mister Tinker had been carrying a tachyon generator, micro or otherwise.<p>

And if they'd been talking about anyone besides John Sidney Tinker, he might have believed them. But they weren't, and he was sure that if - no, he corrected himself, **when**- they did find him, he'd have a tachyon-whatever-it-was with him. But it wouldn't help anyway, so there was no point arguing about it.

There was also no point in berating himself about letting him go home in the first place, and worse, not putting a guard on the house. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20, he thought.

He sighed and looked over the reports of the detained individuals in the John Doe/John Tinker/Stephen Parker case. He'd given orders to arrest any members of the group if necessary, but fortunately they'd all come willingly, if a bit begrudgingly.

Unfortunately, they'd known absolutely nothing. Worse yet, all of them believed, one hundred percent, that they were, in fact, Stephen Parker's family.

And every single one of them had tested positive for Compound B67.

But then, that was hardly a surprise; so had the two body guards who had supposedly taken Mr. Tinker to Sarah Jane's house. The question now became, what was it, and where had it come from?


	27. Chapter 27

Sarah Jane stayed home and waited, pacing the floor and worrying about who had John and what could be happening to him and regretting her decision to tell Lavinia not to cancel her plans for the day. After all, she was a strong woman, right? She could handle this. But at the moment, she found her thoughts alternating between whether or not to call the Brig and see if he had any news yet, and calling her aunt home to be with her.

She was reaching for the phone to call the Brig when there was a knock at her door. She prayed as she ran to it that it was news about John, or better still, John himself with some crazy story about where he'd been that they could laugh about - later, when she wasn't so upset. She held her breath as she swung the door open hopefully.

But it wasn't John, it was Harry Sullivan.

"Harry, what is it?" she asked, trying not to panic. "Did they find John? Is he alright?"

Harry tried to look hopeful. "Not yet, but I'm sure that you know everyone's doing all that they can. As it happens, I thought you'd be going simply mad just sitting here and waiting, and that you might like someone to keep you company."

Sarah took a deep breath, relieved that Harry wasn't here to deliver horrible news. "As a matter of fact, I would love some company right now. My aunt is visiting with a friend who's quite ill, so I'm glad I won't have to call her to come home. I haven't even had the heart to tell her he's missing yet." She went to go put the tea kettle on. "Thank you so much for thinking of me, Harry," she called to him as she headed into her kitchen. "You're a good friend."

Harry tried not to wince; today definitely wasn't the day to be jealous. "That's the idea," he said, sitting down on the sofa as he'd done so many times in the past. "So UNIT has gone out and brought the so called 'family' in for questioning, but unfortunately, they don't appear to know anything. Seems they were drugged with the same thing John was."

Sarah was stunned. "Drugged," she said with surprise. "Then they really believe that they're his family, don't they?"

"They do. And according to the Brigadier, it's likely that all those neighbors and so on that supposedly remember him feel the same way. Nobody can explain the dog, though."

Sarah let out a snort. "Don't tell me they've got they dog in there too."

He smiled. "Not anymore, but they did have him there for a while to run a few tests on him. The dog's at home now, but I can't see how they could use a memory drug on a dog, can you?"

"Not really, but I suppose an animal can be trained to respond to someone, can't it?"

"I suppose it could be as simple as all that. After all, John's always leaving things about at UNIT, he might have left his jacket one day and they got hold of it, whoever they are, and used it to get his scent."

Sarah shrugged. "I'm sure whoever did this must have trained the dog to react that way."

Harry sighed. "Amazing that someone would go through all that trouble, though, isn't it? Makes you wonder what the real story is."

"It does doesn't it?" Sarah Jane looked away, trying to hold her emotions in check.

"Sarah," Harry said, putting an arm around her, "you don't have to be strong all the time. You can let people see you vulnerable. We won't think any less of you. You have every right to be worried about John."

"Worried? Harry, I'm absolutely frantic. It was difficult enough to think I'd lost him to someone else, but not knowing where he is and if he's alright or not, it's unbearable," she pushed the thought of how much danger John could be in to the recesses of her mind. "I just want him safe and home with me," she said with a helpless gesture.

Harry squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. Sarah had lost so much so quickly; first the Doctor, then John, and now John again. "It'll be all right. And let me tell you, you're not the only one who wants him back," he said.

* * *

>Sarah had gratefully accepted Harry's company, but after a while, she'd decided two things: one, she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts, and two, she didn't want to have to explain everything to Lavinia when she arrived home. So telling Harry that she was exhausted, she'd bid him goodbye and then lay down on the couch, pretending to be asleep when Lavinia came in. She almost felt guilty as Lavinia gently placed a blanket over her, but as soon as she was sure her Aunt had gone upstairs to bed for the night, she was back to pacing the floor.<p>Why hadn't the Brig called her yet? It was late, yes, but she couldn't imagine anyone calling it a day as long as John was still in danger. Surely they must have found a lead and were pursuing it. She tried to calm down and think.<p>

What had the Doctor taught her about finding clues when there didn't seem to be any? He said that even though it seemed like there were none apparent, there was always a clue and to rule out the most obvious ones first. But what was the obvious?

She wished the Doctor were here. He was always like Sherlock Holmes when it came to finding motives and clues. Suddenly, she smiled. She may not have the Doctor here to help, but she had what she hoped would be the next best thing. "K-9," she called out. "Come here, I need you."

Since he had helped her try to find out where John was, Sarah found herself softening toward the little robot dog, and had decided to allow him to come into the house. Now he rolled over the carpet, stopping at her feet. "Yes, mistress?"

She quickly gave him every bit of information she could think of, right down to minute details about John, including every second she could account for him. "That's it," she said when she was done. "What conclusions can you come to and what kind of clues can you think of?"

"Current technology insufficiently advanced to track movements, mistress."

Sarah sighed. Maybe K-9 was a little too much like the Doctor. He certainly knew how to excuse what he didn't know. "Well, can you think of anywhere to start looking at least?"

"Suggest contacting last known associates."

"Hmm, I think you may have something there K-9. Thank you for your help." Of course, she had thought of that already, but it gave her a good excuse to call UNIT and check up on what was going on. She went over to the phone and started to dial. She waited for either Mr. Benton or the Brig's secretary to pick up.

"UNIT," Benton answered.

"Mister Benton, it's Sarah Jane Smith. Can you please tell me who the last known person with John was?"

"That would be the driver, Sergeant Manning, and the body guard, Sergeant Simpkins. They've been found to have been drugged, however, so there's not much they can tell us."

"I suppose you've tried hypnotizing them, then?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "I'm not certain, hold on a moment."

"Alright," Sarah bit her lip and waited impatiently. She felt a little silly asking, but sometimes UNIT could be so … military, and a simple human thing like that could get overlooked. As she waited, she turned the situation over in her mind. 'They drugged the driver. How in heaven's name did they get to him, and who's doing this? UNIT has got to have a breakdown in security somewhere, and that's never good,' she thought.


	28. Chapter 28

It wasn't very much later that Lavinia came quietly down the stairs and sat down in front of Sarah Jane. "So are you going to tell me, or do I have to pull it out of you?"

Sarah looked over at Lavinia and sighed heavily. "John's been kidnapped and UNIT has no idea where he is or who's got him."

Lavinia looked stunned for a moment. "Well, I don't know what I was expecting," she said, "but that wasn't it." She paused for a moment. "You seem so … matter-of-fact about it. That's not like you."

"Oh Auntie, he was taken on his way home to me. I found out about it hours ago. I'm so sorry I didn't call and tell you, but I was hoping it was all a mistake and that the Brig and UNIT would have it sorted by now. I've been wracking my brain trying to think of a way to find him. Even K-9 doesn't have any idea of what to do." She gestured helplessly, just standing there fighting back her tears.

Lavinia took a deep breath and sighed, then held her arms out to Sarah. "Come here, child, you've been strong long enough."

Sarah ran into her aunt's arms and allowed herself break down. It felt so good to let go and surrender to her fears and heartaches. She didn't say anything; instead she just cried until she felt drained.

Lavinia let her cry. The bottle of hot sauce on the table told her that Sullivan had been here, but she doubted that Sarah had let herself break down in front of him - or anybody else, for that matter.

Aside from herself, and possibly the Doctor, Lavinia thought, there was only one person Sarah Jane had ever opened herself up to.

And he was missing.

* * *

><p>The UNIT psychiatrist sat down in front of the driver and held out his hand. "Hello, I'm Doctor Jeffries. How are you feeling? I understand that you were drugged earlier and that your memory may have been tampered with."<p>

"That's what they tell me," Sergeant Manning said, shaking his hand. "But I don't believe it."

"I understand. Would you mind if I tried to find out just what did happen?"

"No, I feel pretty bad that Mister Tinker is missing. I'd like to find out as much as anyone. But don't expect much, Doc. I've told everybody, we dropped him off at home and came back. That's it."

"Well, if you're willing to work with me, I'd like to find out exactly how much you remember. You would be surprised at what your subconscious could recall. I promise to only ask you questions about Mister Tinker. Before we start, is there anything about the procedure that you'd like to ask me?"

"No, I'm ready."

"Alright then, let's begin. I'm going to start with hypnotic induction. it's just a series of preliminary instructions and suggestions. All you need to do is try and relax and listen closely."

A short while after Jeffries started talking calmly to him, Sargent Manning fell into a deep trance-like sleep. Once he was relaxed enough, he was able to concentrate for the psychiatrist, and Jeffries began to ask him questions about his previous actions until he was able to suggest a role playing situation in which Manning could reenact and remember details of what happened when he was with Mr. Tinker.

"Now Sergeant Manning, picture yourself in the car. Where are you taking your passenger?"

"We're taking him home, but he wants to make a stop first."

"Where does he want to stop?"

"It's a shop. He wants to buy something, and then there's a man and we take him home."

"Stop for a moment please. Go back to the other man and tell me everything you can about him."

"What other man?" Jones asked.

"You said, 'then there's a man and we take him home.' What man, Sergeant, try and focus."

"I don't remember a man," he said, thinking back. "We went to the shop, and then we came out, there was a man in a coat, and we took Mister Tinker home."

"What did the man in the coat do, Sergeant Manning, try to picture him closely in your mind."

"What man in a coat," Manning asked angrily. "I told you, we went to the shop, we came out, there was a man in a coat, and we took Mister Tinker home! Where is there a man in a coat in that description?"

Jeffries decided not to go the direct route but to try a different approach. "When Mr. Tinker is done at the shop, does anyone approach you or speak to you?"

"No," Manning said. "We just take him straight home."

"When you drop Mr. Tinker off at his home, do you see him go inside, and is there anyone else around the area?"

"I watch him walk up the driveway, but I don't see him go in. As far as I know, there's nobody else around."

Now that his mind was elsewhere, Jeffries went back a bit. "Does he say anything to you after he leaves the shop?"

"No, there's the man and we go back to his house. He's pretty excited when he leaves the shop."

"Why is he excited?"

"He says he'd found just what he wanted, it's perfect."

"Do you know what he got?"

Manning thought for a moment. "No, he doesn't tell me."

"So you didn't go into the shop with him?"

"No, I waited out in the jeep."

"Are there people walking by while you wait?"

"I suppose so."

"Do any of them stand out in your mind? Can you describe any of them for me?"

Manning shook his head. "Nobody special," he said.

Jeffries stopped the recorder. "That's all, Sergeant." He brought him out of it and let him go.

He sighed. The results were the same as they had been for Sergeant Simkins; both remembered seeing someone at the shop, but not consciously, and not in enough detail for identification. Worse, neither had any idea what had happened to their charge, or where he might be now.

* * *

><p>John awoke with his heart in his throat, his thoughts jumbled as he tried to reconcile his last memories of feeling something heavy over his face with disconnected images of Sarah and UNIT and ghostly feelings that he thought must be the fading memories of Stephen Parker.<p>

He thrashed for a moment, screaming incomprehensibly, unable to orient himself in the pitch blackness, his heart pounding as he tried to curl himself into a ball and realized that he couldn't get free.


	29. Chapter 29

"Someone get Rainsford," a voice said, "and tell him his guest is up."

John thought he heard something and part of his mind told him that he needed to force himself to stop screaming, to stop thrashing, to stop his heart from pounding its way out of his chest. This last didn't quite work, but he tried to lay still and quiet, to hear the voice again through the throbbing of his heartbeat in his ears.

He tried to force himself to be rational. 'It's a puzzle,' he told himself. 'Just treat it like a puzzle.' He tried to cut through the panic and analyze the situation from what he had. Was it dark, or was he blindfolded? The air felt stale and hot, and he felt like there was something still over his face. And the voice. Did the voice come over a speaker and he was alone, or was someone in the room with him?

Mostly, what had happened?

He remembered being in the jeep, on his way home to Sarah. He remembered making a stop for … he tried to reach into his pocket but his arms wouldn't move. Where they tied down or was he paralyzed? His brain still wasn't working well enough to tell him, but he reasoned that he must be held down somehow; if he were paralyzed, he wouldn't have been able to thrash. That's right.

But why? Why would someone do this to him?

But then, why would someone have gone through all that trouble to convince him that he was Stephen Parker?

And what did they want?

* * *

><p>Benton watched as the counterintelligence team swept the common room, looking for bugs. Before he'd gone, Mister Tinker had completed enough of an analysis for them to reprogram their equipment to try and determine where the leak was coming from - if it were mechanical.<p>

They still hadn't been able to eliminate the possibility that the leak was human in nature, but he had a personal reason to hope that it wasn't. He wanted to know how someone had known how and when to snatch Mister Tinker, when there had only been a short time between when they'd made arrangements to send him home and when he'd been taken.

Because Benton had made those arrangements himself.

He remembered what he'd said earlier, about one not being able to trust oneself, and wondered: could he himself be the leak? He told himself it was impossible. He'd never betray UNIT, and certainly not like this.

But what if he'd done it without even realizing it? It hadn't been that long since Mike Yates had been drummed out of UNIT - drummed out nicely, but drummed out nonetheless - for the simple sin of being too susceptible to hypnotism. Benton was on the list of staff who'd been exposed to Compound B67, albeit not recently. But what if he were responsible for the kidnapping, and didn't even remember it?

He didn't want to think about it. But he'd been going back over the list of leaks, and the one thing he hadn't yet told the Brig was that there seemed to be only one common factor in a majority of cases.

He himself had been there.

He picked up a sensor one of his men had laid down for a minute, turning it over in his hands, wondering what was happening to Mister Tinker. Was he even alive?

Hands shaking just a little, he switched on the sensor.

* * *

><p>The Brigadier tried to focus on the task at hand, but lately he found himself spending more and more time in self-recriminations over his failure to realize the danger to Mister Tinker - and to UNIT itself - before letting him go. 'Snap out of it, Alistair,' he told himself, 'you'll never get anywhere this way.'<p>

A knock at the door helped him snap out of it, as Benton entered with yet another report. "Latest duty rosters, sir," he said, standing expectantly.

"Put it on my desk Benton, I'll look at it later," he almost snapped at him. The last thing on his mind right now was dealing with something as banal as duty rosters. "Just see to it that everyone knows what's expected of them. Oh, and for what ever good it will do, I want everyone on high alert as of now."

Benton seemed to falter for a moment, but didn't move. "Sir, if you could just review it and sign off, I'll be out of your hair." He stood at rigid attention, as though he were afraid to move.

"Very well," the brig did snap this time. "Let's just get it over with, then." He flipped the folder open impatiently. He looked down, read it, then quietly set it down on his desk.

His first reaction was one of shock. Of all of his men, the last one he would ever suspect of being the leak would be Benton. And yet, here it was, in a handwritten note from the man standing before him, explaining that he wasn't sure how, but that he himself appeared to be the listening device, or more specifically, to have the device implanted within his left upper arm.

He stared at Benton, still standing at attention, his eyes almost pleading with him to understand. At that moment he realized that Benton would be the most logical choice. His most trusted aide, Benton would be at the hub of everything.

Certainly this was related to the previous incidents of strange behavior they'd seen at UNIT in the last several weeks; this Compound B67 couldn't be a coincidence. Those were likely related to the alien/human hybrid recording device they'd found, and which Mister Tinker had decoded as well.

From there it was a short step to Torchwood.

Since the summit he hadn't uncovered much, if anything, more about the clandestine organization, but clearly it had something to do with extra-terrestrial activity, which made it the top suspect on his list in this case.

And it made sense that they'd try and snatch Mister Tinker in any way possible. Although the nature of the threat to the summit - in fact, the threat itself - hadn't been disclosed, within the clandestine community his role in saving London, and perhaps the world, had been heralded quite distinctly. Any organization in this business would want him.

Torchwood, and he was quite sure now it was Torchwood, was proving to be a very dangerous foe. However, since Benton had been smart enough to handle the situation, they could use this to their advantage. If he could set a trap for Dewhurst and his Torchwood people without them finding out about it, yes, perhaps he could indeed turn this all to his advantage.

He picked up his pen and quickly jotted down a set of instructions. "Mister Perkins is on sick leave, Benton, you'll have to find someone to fill in for him. I'm surprised you slipped up on that. See that it doesn't happen again," he said flatly. He put the pen down and handed the roster back to him. "Find a replacement at once and then post this, understood?"

"Yes sir," Benton said expectantly. He opened the file and looked at the Brigadier's response. 

_Act natural. We'll find a way to use this to our advantage._

_Good job._

"Thank you, sir," Benton said, almost managing to keep his voice even. "I'll do my best, sir."

* * *

>Now that he had a direction, the Brigadier's mind fired on all cylinders.<p>The first order of business was to find a way to use the fact that they'd found the bug. He considered trying to force their hand by telling Torchwood that UNIT had incriminating information on them, but that could easily backfire and convince them to kill Mister Tinker to put an end to this whole business.<p>

If they hadn't already.

No, he had to come up with something better, something more likely to lead UNIT directly to them.

He picked up the phone and dialed.


	30. Chapter 30

Sarah Jane ran to the phone and picked it up the second it rang. "Hullo?"

"Hello, Miss Smith, I'm afraid I don't have any news, I was just calling to see how you're doing," she heard the Brigadier say.

"Oh," her voice dropped. "Not as well as I'd like to be, I'm afraid."

"I'm certain of that. In fact, I'm certain that we all feel that way. But perhaps I can give you something else to focus on. I have an idea on how we might convince the people holding your fiance to give him back, but I'll need some assistance. Would you mind putting some of those legendary research skills of yours to use on UNIT's behalf?"

"Oh, and how," she said enthusiastically. "You had best believe I would, Brigadier, just tell me what I need to do."

"Good. I'm sending over some leads. These are people that may have something to do with the organization that we believe is holding Mister Tinker. I want you to find out all you can about them. But under no circumstances are you to leave your home. That's of paramount importance right now, is that clear?"

"I really don't see why not, what's my staying cooped up got to with the investigation anyway? Is this another one of your plans to make me stay put while you go around doing all the important things? Because if it is, Brigadier -"

"Miss Smith," the Brigadier said firmly, "if the kidnappers wish to offer a ransom demand, I need you to be there to accept it."

"Oh, well alright then, I'll stay put. Providing that you promise to update me on what's going on and what's being done as much as possible," she added.

"I promise you, as soon as we have any information, you'll be the first to know. And again, absolute discretion, all right?"

"Of course, I'll be completely discreet. By the way, thanks for the welcome distraction," she paused a minute then decided to be blunt. "Have you found the traitor in your midst yet, Brigadier? If not, whatever you do, be very careful who you send and keep a close eye on him before he leaves UNIT."

"Exactly, Miss Smith, exactly. The messenger will arrive shortly. Benton! Get your keys!"

* * *

><p>As agreed, Benton had behaved normally as the Brigadier explained the task of giving Sarah Jane a list of names to investigate. The Brig had been sitting on them for some time; now seemed as good a time as ever to see if they led anywhere in Torchwood's direction. But after Benton left, as he made arrangements for trusted men to stake out her house watching for anything unusual; he felt a bit of trepidation about putting her in danger like that. If she knew he was using her as bait ...<p>

He didn't regret it; it seemed like UNIT's only option for tracking down Mister Tinker. Still, he felt certain that there had to be another hand that he could play.

Because if his suspicions about Mr. Tinker were correct, Torchwood didn't just have UNIT's Xenotechnology Specialist.

They had the Doctor.

It was time, he suspected, to call in a favor or two.

* * *

><p>"Well bless me if it isn't old Port," the rather fulsome gentleman said with a broad smile as he stood up from behind his desk to meet his guest. "And to what do I owe this honor my dear fellow?"<p>

"Ah, Cornelius," the Brigadier said as he shook Lord Wentworth's hand. "Do I need a reason to visit an old friend?"

"You do when it's on such short notice. You usually don't just dash in here without calling, and we both know it."

"I'm afraid you have me there, Stout," the Brig said, dropping his pretense of cheerfulness now that the door was closed. "I do have some rather unpleasant business that needs attention, and I need your help."

"You know you can count on me, old friend. If there's anything at all I can do for you, just name it. But first, would you like to partake of a small libation with me?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm going to need a clear head for this. One of my men has gone missing, and I have an idea of where."

"I don't see how I can help, but carry on."

The Brigadier took a deep breath. "What do you know about an organization called Torchwood?"

Stout sat back in his seat. "Not much, but I can assure you, they're not to be trifled with. If they are the ones responsible for that missing chap of yours, I'm sure they felt that they had a good reason for it."

"Good reason or not, I want him back, Stout," the Brig said. "And I want them to keep their noses out of UNIT's business."

"I can't say I blame you. Tell me about this man of yours that's gone missing."

The Brigadier looked hard at his friend, trying to read his face. "He's just an ordinary man," he finally said. "Had a bit of a knock on the head, forgot who he is, but otherwise completely ordinary. Good boffin, though, which I'm sure figures into their reasoning."

"Has he been working on anything special recently that I should know about?"

"Not at all. I bring him in to decipher something once in a while when we've got too much work. Nothing valuable about him at all, except that he's one of mine, and I want him back."

Cornelius walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch, poured himself a glass of it and after he took a long pull, he turned back to his oldest and best friend. "There's something I shouldn't tell you, but I think you need to know. Torchwood and it's head are determined to shut you down. They've become especially intense about it since that whole business over the summit you and your lot rescued. Dewhurst got a proper chewing out for it. You made him look pretty bad and he isn't likely to forget the dressing down he got."

"I see," the Brigadier said. It certainly wasn't anything he didn't already know, and Cornelius couldn't have believed he'd be in the dark about it. "I don't suppose there's a chance you have some ideas on how I might 'persuade' them to be reasonable?"

"As a matter of official government business and on the record," he said, pointing around the room, "I'd advise you to go through the proper channels and appeal to the Crown to help you."

"And that's precisely why I came to you, Stout. You've still got a bit of pull. I thought perhaps you could point me in the right direction."

"I'm really sorry old fellow, but I'm afraid I don't have all that much pull anymore," he said, scribbling on a scrap of paper. "These day I feel like they only keep me around to drag out at parades and such because I still look damn impressive in my dress uniform with all my medals on. Sure I can't get you a drink old man?"

"No, thanks Stout, but I'm afraid I must dash," he said, clearly disappointed that his last hope hadn't panned out. "Official channels can be damnably slow, so I'd better get started." He stood. "Thanks for the advice, and we must get together for dinner some time soon. Tell Magda I miss her Paprikash."

He laughed and held out his hand. "Will do Port old friend, will do." As he shook hands he slipped a short note into the Brigadier's palm. 'I'll do all I can,' was the only thing written on it.

Cornelius watched as Alastair left, closing the door behind him. Then he sat back down at his desk and picked up the phone, waiting for his secretary to pick up. "Put me through to Dewhurst," he said.


	31. Chapter 31

PLEASE NOTE: The next couple of chapters get a little bit ... intense. We don't think we'll have to bump up the rating, and we hope it doesn't bother anyone, but we wanted to make you aware of it just in case ...

* * *

><p>Sarah Jane waited anxiously for Mister Benton to arrive. She let her breath out when she saw him pull up in her drive. She flew to the door and stood there as she watched him get out of his jeep. "Do you feel quite like yourself," she smiled as he reached the top of her steps.<p>

"I'm sorry, Miss Smith?" Benton asked. He was bone tired, having pulled double shifts for several weeks as the Brigadier tried to figure out who at UNIT was truly reliable, and who was potentially a Torchwood plant. Add to that the stress of realizing a) that he himself was the leak, and b) that he had to behave normally while still providing the information that would hopefully cause Mister Tinker's kidnappers to slip up, and he was exhausted.

"Never mind Mister Benton, I'm reasonably certain no one's tried to drug you," Sarah said. "Come in and have some tea and some biscuits. You do look exhausted."

"Thanks," he said, dragging himself in and sitting down at the table. "The Brigadier says to tell you it's a good call that there's someone on the inside at UNIT that shouldn't be there, and we're still not sure who it is."

"It has to be somebody pretty close to the top if you ask me," she said reaching for the tea. "How else could anyone be near enough to know what's going on and drug UNIT staff right under your noses." She filled a plate with biscuits and offered them to Benton.

"You'd think," Benton said, "but the higher-ups are pretty much me and the Brigadier, and neither of us are doing it," he said. The last thing he needed was for her to start questioning him about it. "The Brig's beginning to wonder if this is a UK problem, or if it's coming from Geneva." He rubbed his eyes. "At any rate, he's sent me over with these three names, and instructions to be absolutely discreet. These are dangerous people we're dealing with, but I suppose he's hoping that we can pressure them into letting Mister Tinker go."

Sarah looked at the list. "Well the names don't mean a thing to me, but I'll get on it right away. Tell the Brig if he needs it that I have a resource that can tap into computers and retrieve information, but he'll have to come to my house to use it. Oh, and I'm sure you've already swept everything for bugs, but maybe you should do that as often as possible. Have something please," she said pushing the plate of goodies closer to him, then pouring some tea into his cup. "Before I forget, any results from the hypnotism," she asked hopefully.

Benton chewed a biscuit, wishing he could just stay here for a while rather than heading back to UNIT. "I'm afraid not. Nobody seems to remember anything," he lied. "I'll let the Brig know you've got resources, thank you." He took a small handful of biscuits. "I really should be getting back. Do you mind?"

"Of course not Mister Benton, help yourself. I keep these in stock just for the UNIT people that stop by to visit. Harry likes Jammy Dodgers and I know that you're partial to Jaffa Cakes and shortbread."

He smiled. "Thank you. You do take good care of us." He stood. "Don't worry, we'll get him back."

Sarah Jane stood, then reached up and put her hand on his shoulder. "I know you will. Thank you so much," she said softly. "By the way, if you really find yourself in a jam and want to get on the Brig's good side, buy him a box of HobNobs. He's a total sucker for them," she smiled.

Benton thanked her and left, leaving Sarah staring at the list of names.

* * *

><p>Horace Dewhurst listened to the man screaming as he awaited his fate in his cell, smiling at how hoarse he had become, and how quickly. He slowly paced up and down the hallway outside the block of cells, enjoying the moment.<p>

He knew that rumors were spreading that Torchwood had finally captured the Doctor, and for most of the staff, that was exciting enough; they'd all been groomed on the fact that Torchwood was chartered to protect the realm from him.

But for Horace, this was much more personal.

Had it really been almost a decade since he'd gotten the call that some young upstart Colonel was trying to convince the Crown that Britain needed a permanent alien-fighting force?

They'd asked Dewhurst, then, what to do about it. Should they send him over as a potential recruit? After all, Lethbridge-Stewart had proven himself in a trial by fire, defeating an alien attack before Torchwood had even had time to ramp up and decide what to do. (And that was becoming a bad habit, he mused.)

Dewhurst had considered it. Unfortunately, there was one major problem: he'd achieved this miraculous feat with the help of the Doctor, which made him suspect, and Dewhurst had told them to simply pass. After all, it was aliens; the man would surely just go away, keeping the story of an invasion of the London underground by robot Yeti as one of those once-in-a-lifetime things to tell his grand-children about.

But he didn't go away, and before Torchwood had even finished solidifying the news that the underground had been closed because of a nerve gas leak, Lethbridge-Stewart had taken his idea straight to the UN Security Council, where it had been enthusiastically embraced.

At first Dewhurst hadn't taken him too seriously. No matter what the UN said or did, Britain was Torchwood territory; nothing was going to get between Torchwood and the Crown. He'd watched the Intrusion Countermeasures Group ply their trade since the 1950's, keeping up the appearance that the government was on top of things while leaving the real alien-fighting to Torchwood behind the scenes. Surely UNIT would be the same.

But it wasn't the same, and there were rumblings in the community that Dewhurst had taken a misstep. Some even called it a fatal error, though never to his face. UNIT wasn't just too big for its britches; they'd openly worked with the Doctor to the point where even the Crown had forgotten their animosity towards him. The Queen was even known to have him over for formal dinners!

UNIT was making a mockery out of Torchwood.

And Dewhurst was going to put a stop to it.

He listened to the screaming for a few moments more and headed back to his office. Even if this man wasn't the Doctor, he was UNIT.

And he would pay.

Overall, he thought as he took in the view from behind his desk, his plan was exceeding his expectations and was, in fact, ahead of schedule. So he was even able to maintain his good humor as his secretary buzzed him to inform him that Lord Wentworth was on the phone.

He picked up the phone, wondering what the old blowhard wanted. 'He should have been put out to pasture years ago,' he thought to himself. "Dewhurst here, how can I be of service to you, my Lord?"

"Dewhurst," Cornelius said, "I've just had an interesting conversation. Seems UNIT is missing a boffin."

'News travels fast,' Dewhurst thought. "Why come to me with UNIT's problems, your Lordship? I certainly don't bring my concerns about them to you," he said coldly.

"Of course you don't, Horace," Cornelius said genially. "Torchwood certainly wouldn't have to do anything like that. And honestly, I'm rather proud of you. After the summit I'd say the smart money is on whoever manages to have him on the payroll, wouldn't you?"

Dewhurst steamed quietly at the implication that he was correcting the mistake he'd made in not hiring Lethbridge-Stewart, but kept silent.

"Frankly, I'd be disappointed if you hadn't tried something like this," he continued, as though it were a foregone conclusion that Torchwood had the man in their possession. "But I'm afraid that Lethbridge-Stewart is an old friend, and if it were to get out that I let this happen to one of his people, it would put me in a rather difficult position. And I don't like being in a difficult position, Horace," he said, somehow managing to sound friendly and ice cold, all at the same time.

Dewhurst felt the last of his good mood slipping away, dissolving in UNIT-based acid. Lethbridge-Stewart again. "In that case," he said, careful not to grit his teeth, "I'll be happy to take care of that problem, as a favor to you, your Lordship." Dewhurst was as congenial as he could manage. It was in his best interest not to ruffle Wentworth's feathers. After all, it was budget season.

Especially if he was going to play this out to the end.

And he was.

"Good. I expect to hear that the situation is resolved in short order," Wentworth said, once again congenial.

"Of course, my Lord." He hung up the phone and smiled to himself. How convenient for him that the term 'in short order' was so vague.

Plenty of time to make Lethbridge-Stewart suffer.

* * *

><p><p>

Fletcher Rainsford stood stiffly in the interrogation room while he waited for the guards to bring in the prisoner. He glanced around, making sure he had everything he needed, and that it had all been cleaned and sterilized since the last time he had questioned someone. He liked these moments before he began; they were at once serene and exhilarating.

The door opened and two guards dragged a man with a mask on his head to the center of the room, ignoring him as he struggled and cried out to his captors.

Rainsford watched patiently as they secured him to the rings in the floor, sighing. He didn't like the noisy ones. After all that he'd read on the long trip back from Bombay, he had expected this man to be the brave and silent type. He much preferred that; he'd been looking forward to the challenge. If the man were going to cave so quickly, it seemed a shame to have been pulled out of India, where he'd been engaged in such important business.

'Ah well,' Rainsford thought, the sooner this was over, the sooner he could go back to it. And from the sound of it, he might be back on an Air India flight before lunchtime.

"Please," the man cried, "I don't know what you want! Please, just tell me!" He tried to struggle, but it seemed mostly a formality, as though he'd already learned that it was no use.

Rainsford looked at his watch and then strode over to the prisoner, standing over him and savoring the moment, breathing in the headiness of it. So many years, he'd been waiting for this one moment.

So when the door opened, he wasn't happy; this wasn't the time for interruptions. Nevertheless, he silently nodded and the man took a seat, nodding back and motioning for him to begin.

Rainsford put the visitor out of his mind and turned his attention back to the man kneeling on the floor. "Welcome, Doctor. We're delighted to see you. We've been waiting to have you as our guest for quite some time now."


	32. Chapter 32

For the umpteenth time, John wondered how he managed to keep finding himself in these situations. Surely being kidnapped and held captive was something that didn't happen to a person on a regular basis. Somewhere in the back of his head, he remembered the Brigadier saying something about this kind of thing being old hat to Sarah Jane. John decided this couldn't possibly have been what he'd meant.

Now, after what felt like days in the dark, strapped down without food or water, he was being dragged, seemingly for miles, by his aching limbs. Who knew being immobile could be so painful? And now what? Kneeling on a cold, hard floor and trussed up like he wasn't even human?

He was sure this was all just a mistake. It had to be. If he could just find out what they wanted, he was sure he could clear everything up. "Please!" he shouted, hoping they could hear him through the thick hood over his head. "I don't know what you want! Please, just tell me!" He tried to struggle, but he didn't have much in him.

He thought he heard footsteps, and it was as though he could feel someone standing near him. "Welcome, Doctor," he heard. "We're delighted to see you. We've been waiting to have you as our guest for quite some time now."

John was almost ecstatic. He wasn't a doctor of anything. This was all a bit of mistaken identity! "D … doctor? No, you don't understand, I'm not Doctor Steven Parker. That was all made up," he said, hoping against hope that it was that simple.

"We know you're not Doctor Parker," a voice said. "But, we also know that you are **the** Doctor. What sort of game are you playing at and why are you here on Earth this time?"

John thought he must have misheard. Certainly they weren't talking about …no, of course not. He was being paranoid. But then, he had said something about being here on Earth. "You mean … **the** Doctor? As in...the alien?"

"Yes, I mean you, Doctor. We have proof of your identity, so you might as well drop the silly games. Things will run so much more smoothly for both of us if you do."

John tried to process this. First he was nobody, just John Doe, then John Tinker, then Stephen Parker, now … the Doctor?

Time seemed to slow to a stop for him as what the man had said sank in. They thought he was the Doctor. The Doctor. The man Sarah Jane had been in love with. The father of their baby. It would explain so much, from his strange memory loss to the way everyone had treated him so oddly when he'd first appeared, to the fact that nobody had come forward to claim him.

There was only one thought that ran through his mind, and before he could think about it any further, he heard a raspy voice that could only have been his own say, "Are you BARKING** MAD!**"

He thought he heard a satisfied snort, or perhaps more of a grunt. "Look, this can be short and simple, or drawn out and ugly, it's your choice." The voice seemed to move to his right shoulder. "It's foolish to argue with us. Did you think that we went through all of that trouble to convince you that you were Stephen Parker for no reason? We knew where you were, we could have just taken you off the street. It was a test, of sorts. If you really weren't the Doctor, you would simply have continued to believe you were Parker, and we'd have recruited you as an employee. On the other hand, because you are the Doctor, you didn't quite fall for it as a normal human would."

John listened to what he was saying, a tiny part of him glad to finally have an explanation of why anyone would have put up such an elaborate charade. But he certainly wasn't going to tell them that he **had** fallen for it, and that Sarah Jane was responsible for his "recovery". The last thing he wanted to do was let them know about her. But apparently it was too late to worry about that, he realized as the voice continued.

"Besides," it said. "Here you are with no identity, living with the Smith woman, your last known companion. If that isn't enough, you look exactly like a sketch of you we have from 1879, and you're carrying what it took us quite some time to discover is a tiny tachyon generator. Surely you don't expect us to believe that it's all just a coincidence, do you?"

"I'm not an alien!" John shouted, pulling at the straps and getting nowhere. "I'm a human being!" He could hear the desperation as he tried to catch his breath. Obviously he had fallen down some sort of rabbit hole, and he couldn't see any way up again. "My name is John Sidney Tinker and I run a fix-it shop! I'm not even remotely important!"

"Odd that you should mention being human. However did you manage that?"

"I didn't do anything. I'm just a man who woke up on a strange doorstep one morning not knowing who I was. I'm telling you, I'm as human as you are!" John paused, a terrible thought coming to him. "You are... human, aren't you?" he asked quietly, a shiver running up his spine.

He heard a hearty laugh. "It's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor ... yet. Now I suggest you start cooperating before I lose mine."

"Listen," John said desperately, "I'm not joking here. I'm just an ordinary man. I'm not the Doctor, I promise you. I'm John Sidney Tinker, and all I want to do is go home."

"Well then, of course we'll let you go home. All you have to do is answer a few simple questions. For instance, tell me where you left the TARDIS and I'm sure we can accommodate you once we have it in our possession."

John wondered if he was talking about the DISTAR from Sarah's books. "The what?"

"Now I am really disappointed in you, Doctor. I was told you had a superior intellect. What a shame if that's not true."

John heard footsteps, then a click that seemed to come from off to his right. All at once he realized the straps were tightening, and his chest constricted. After a moment of panic he realized that he could still breathe, but his wrists and his head were now more than just a little uncomfortable, one strap pressing the rough leather into his forehead at the temples and pulling his head backwards even as another pulled the back of his neck forward ever so slightly.

His breath caught in his throat as he realized what was happening. "Oh dear heavens," he said aloud, "You're going to torture me. You're really going to torture me." He was amazed. "I'm telling you, I don't know what you're talking about! If you mean his ship, I wouldn't have the first idea where it is! I've been trying to find him myself, and he hasn't shown up! That's what the tachyon generator was for, to try and send him a message!" he screamed frantically. "I promise you, I don't know where any TARDIS is!"

"Perhaps I can jog your memory," came the emotionless response.

John felt the straps tighten once more and tried to ignore the growing pain in his skull, focusing on whether or not he could still breathe. So far, so good. But for how long? He tried not to think about how far back they might pull his head before his neck simply snapped. "I swear to you, I don't know!"

He heard a second set of footsteps approach, but before he could even brace himself, they retreated to whence they'd come, and he felt the straps tighten again. Ignoring the exploding pain in his head he focused on breathing through his diaphragm, unable now to expand his rib cage. And it didn't matter much, as he was sure his windpipe was starting to collapse even as he felt blood dripping down his wrists and ankles.

He heard the door shut, and a moment later he gasped as the pressure on the straps let up just enough so that he could breathe again. He was certain he heard the voice mumble "amateur," then the cold 'snick' of something being retrieved from a metal tray.


	33. Chapter 33

The hardest part of maintaining a stakeout, Corporal McManus thought to himself, was remaining vigilant throughout the hours of soul-crushing boredom. It was why the teams had been working unusually short shifts; they couldn't afford to miss anything. Not when they were cutting things so closely.

Truth be told, McManus wasn't all that comfortable with what they were doing. He didn't like the idea of using anyone as bait, but orders were orders, and if the only way to find Mister Tinker was to let someone get close to Miss Smith and then follow them to ground, that's what they were going to do. It was also why they had multiple teams in place; it wouldn't do for them to lose Miss Smith as well.

But it was a fine line they were walking; they wanted the kidnappers to get close to Miss Smith, perhaps even to attempt to take her - but should they attempt to simply kill her, the teams had to prevent that.

So when he spotted a small rustling in the bushes in her garden, he immediately sent the silent signal that would let all teams know to watch, and listen, and wait.

* * *

><p>Sarah Jane was sitting at her desk going over several pages of notes and making new ones. Every few minutes she'd look over a few of the pages in front of her and scowl. She was on to something, she could feel her reporter's instincts tingling, if only she could put all the pieces together. She kept pouring over the papers, but she quietly slid a desk drawer open and reached slowly into it. She took a sip of tea and casually placed the cup down. Turning in her swivel chair she calmly aimed her gun at the man who was about to pounce on her. "I wouldn't move if I were you." she said. "At this range you haven't got any chance to avoid getting shot at all. I advise you to sit in that chair there and prepare to have an informative chat. I will also caution you that I'm not in a mood right now to take grief from anyone. "<p>

The man seemed to be weighing his options; clearly he hadn't expected much in the way of resistance. "You should put that down," he finally said, "before somebody gets hurt."

"No," she snapped at him. "I'm an excellent shot. You should sit down before you get hurt."

The man kept his gaze on her, never breaking eye contact as he moved slowly - almost too slowly - towards the chair. "And you should know that I wasn't referring to anyone in this room."

Sarah smirked at him. "If I were you, I'd be considering right now just how disposable you are to your employers."

"That depends. How disposable is John Tinker to you?"

"Not at all," she glared at him. "Let's hope your people prize you as highly as I do John. I hope that your friend behind me doesn't want to see you hurt either. If he doesn't he should sit down in the chair next to yours as quickly as possible."

For a moment there was no reaction, and then a flurry of activity as the man behind her made a leap in her direction and Sarah Jane subdued him with a Venusian Aikido move he could never have seen before. But as she turned back to the first attacker, she had just a split second to see that he was out of his chair and on her, way too close for her to get into a good defensive stance.

A second later she heard the high-pitched whine and smelled the acrid smoke that signaled K-9's weapons system had been used, and it was all over, both men lying on the floor, moaning.

"Thank you K-9," Sarah smiled with satisfaction. "Are we done playing now, gentlemen?"

Simultaneously, both men reached for their guns and found such a movement uncomfortable at best, downright impossible at worst. "Very nice," one of them finally said.

"Thank you. Now I'd like some answers. Where is my fiance and is he safe?"

The man managed to smile at her. "Your fiance, eh?"

"Yes," she said kneeing him a little harder. "Where is he?"

"We're not going to tell you that," he said. "But maybe you'd like to come with us and see him."

"I would, and some of my friends from UNIT would like to see him as well. So I think I'll give them a call. You can show us where John is as soon as you wake up from your nap." With that, she gave each of their necks a precise squeeze by the jugular and waited till they passed out. She was heading for the phone when she heard someone on her porch.

It was at that moment that Corporal McManus first hit the door, kicking it in, rifle at the ready. "Miss Smith, are you all right?" he asked. "We heard a commotion."

"You did, but I'm afraid that you're a bit slow, Corporal. There's some rubbish over there I'd like you to take care of for me," she pointed to the two men, who were still unconscious. "These are two of the men the Brigadier was checking into. I have a strong feeling they may be able to tell you where John Tinker is. Make sure that when they wake up you do whatever is necessary to make them cooperate."

Three phone calls and twenty minutes later, both men were still unconscious as the Brigadier arrived to take charge of the scene. Given that she'd captured two Torchwood operatives, he was not as chipper as she would have expected. "Miss Smith," he boomed, "how is it that you have a such remarkable talent for finding trouble even when you are staying at home?"

"I didn't find it, it found me. Which shouldn't be all that much of a surprise to you Brigadier, seeing that you took the liberty of using me as bait."

The Brigadier sighed, wanting nothing more than to slump onto the couch with a nice big glass of Scotch. "If you knew that, Miss Smith, perhaps you might have been a bit more accommodating so that we could follow this lot back!"

"I waited as long as I could before I defended myself. In future, if you want to do that sort of thing again, kindly let me know about it. And while I'm at it, what in heavens name were you thinking? I can't go into it now, but there is far too much at stake here for me to be taking a risk like that." She started to put her hand on her stomach, but stopped herself.

"I was thinking," he answered, "that this organization is too far underground for us to find them quickly without some sort of lead. I was thinking of Mister Tinker. And if there's anything else you need to tell me, now is definitely the time."

She debated whether or not to tell him about the baby then and there. It would have been a relief at this point to explain it all to Brig. Why wasn't John her standing by her side to share the news with her? She longed for the touch of his hand on her shoulder and to see him smiling at her. She shook her head, John deserved that right. He had earned it. "All I want you to do Brigadier is to find John and bring him home to me safe and sound." She picked up the papers off her desk and handed them to the Brig. "I think you might find something useful in all this."

The Brigadier absently held his hand out for her notes, distracted by the metal dog by Sarah Jane's side. "Miss Smith, is this something Mister Tinker created for you?" He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Actually, no. He was a gift sent to me a few weeks ago by the Doctor. He just showed up in a box on the front porch one day."

The Brigadier was taken aback. "Do you mean to say that the Doctor was here, and you didn't let anyone know?"

"That's just it, I don't even know if he was here or not. There was just a box on the porch. We didn't have a clue as to who sent it until we opened it up and found K-9 inside."

The Brig sighed. "I take it, then, that this is the 'resource' you were referring to."

Sarah looked down at K-9 who was eyeing the Brigadier. His metal ears were turning back and forth as he scanned him. "I'm afraid so. Don't underestimate him though because of his looks, he's almost as brilliant as the Doctor."

"Miss Smith, unless he can lead us back to Mister Tinker, I'm afraid that right now he's not nearly brilliant enough."

* * *

><p>When Sarah Jane was alone, she sat down and rubbed her stomach protectively with both hands. No matter how much she wanted to be out looking for John, she had to put the baby first. She wished that she were more confident that everything would work out for the best and that John would be back home soon. Instead she curled up on the couch and cried. Now that she had done everything she could investigating the men on the list that the Brigadier had sent her, there was nothing else left for her to occupy herself with. Finally, she cried herself to sleep.<p> 


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's note:** This chapter is a little intense. We've upped the rating to K+, but if you are easily offended, please skip this chapter, and we'll give you a summary at the top of the next one. Thanks!

* * *

><p>The Brigadier was still irritated when he arrived back at his office, and still trying to find another way to locate John Tinker. He'd now been missing for more than three days, and the Brig got the sense that time was running out.<p>

As he passed by, his secretary nervously handed him a thick envelope. "A package arrived for you while you were gone, sir."

The Brigadier noted the rise in his adrenaline level. "Give it to me, quickly. Where did it come from, did you trace it? I see it's been dusted for prints," he said, wiping the black powder off his fingers.

"It was put through all the usual procedures sir, and it was untraceable. The fingerprints are being analyzed at the lab right now. The moment the results are in, I'll bring them right to you," she said.

He nodded and pulled open the thick envelope as he closed the door to his office, dumping a stack of photos and a short audio reel onto his desk.

Part of him had known, even before he opened the envelope, what he'd find inside. 'I suppose,' he thought to himself, 'I should be thankful there aren't any body parts.'

He looked quickly for some sort of ransom note, being careful not to touch any of the items more than necessary. But there was nothing. Nothing to offer any hope of getting Mister Tinker back. Unless …

He threaded the audio tape onto the recorder he kept on the shelf behind his desk and pressed "play".

As he listened to the unmistakable sound of John Tinker pleading for mercy, he stared at the photos. His training told him to be objective, to look at this as just another incident, a problem to be dealt with. But underneath his uniform beat the heart of a human being, and even if Mister Tinker had been a stranger, this would have been more than most people could endure. To think of what was happening to someone he knew and liked, someone who had become important to everyone at UNIT, and especially to Sarah Jane... it infuriated him.

He mused that whoever had put this package together had known that he would have to listen to the entire tape in the hopes that there was some sort of ransom demand on it, even though he was sure that there wasn't. What kind of sadist would do that? It almost seemed as if all this was somehow personal.

After what seemed like an eternity he heard only the flapping of the end of the tape, and tried to console himself with the thought that at least Mister Tinker was still alive.

For now.

* * *

><p>Unannounced, Rainsford walked calmly into Dewhurst's office and plopped himself on a chair. "How are you, Horace?"<p>

"Never mind the small talk," Horace said. "Did you get the information out of him," he asked, looking up from his desk. 'Smug SOB,' he thought. He couldn't stand the man, but he always achieved success, and Dewhurst grudgingly respected that.

"Not yet," Rainsford said, taking a long pull on his cigarette. "He's still sticking to his cover story. But I've broken him down. It shouldn't take much more for him to lead us right to the truth."

Dewhurst sighed. Among other reasons, he wanted this done so he could send Rainsford packing. There were a few people who'd been with Torchwood long enough to understand exactly why he felt as he did about both the Doctor and UNIT, but Rainsford was the only one with the guts to show it. "Well then, why are you here? Just finish this off and stop wasting time."

"These things take time," Rainsford said, as though it were perfectly obvious. "You can't just go in there and beat it out of him. Not if you want good information. The mind doesn't work that way. We need to draw the information out of him while he's still relatively sane. Go too far and ... " He drew his finger across his throat. "... he's worthless to us." He leaned forward. "It takes a bit of finesse, Horace. Besides," he said, leaning back once more, "Torchwood's waited almost a century, what's your hurry?"

Dewhurst sighed. He certainly wasn't going to give Rainsford the satisfaction of knowing he was getting pressured by Wentworth. "The longer we have him," he said, "the better his chances of escape are. No matter how frail he may seem to you, that's still the Doctor in there. He's infamous for getting out of impossible situations, so whatever you do, don't underestimate him." Horace paused a moment. "You weren't foolish enough to leave him alone were you?"

Rainsford laughed. "Of course not. And anyway, he's not going anywhere in that condition." He looked at Dewhurst skeptically. "You're not really worried about an escape, Horace, what's going on? Pressure from the Crown? Are they worried about their pet alien?" He put his feet up on Dewhurst's desk.

Dewhurst merely fumed. He thought about his operatives sitting in UNIT custody and wondered whether he should go through the trouble of trying to get them back, or just have them eliminated. He certainly wasn't going to consider a trade. Not at this point. "Just get on with it. So far, we don't officially have him, but certain … events have transpired that make it clear that this operation could lead certain parties straight to us. The longer he's here, the more of a liability he becomes. If he's not going to be helpful," he said, silently sliding Rainsford's feet back off the polished oak surface, "I want him gone."

"I promise you nothing. I'm sure that you can delay as long as you need to. That's what you bureaucrats are good for." Rainsford headed for the door without further comment.

Dewhurst glared at him as he watched him leave. He didn't know where Rainsford got his information, but if he ever became expendable, Dewhurst was going to take great delight in giving him over to his successor.

* * *

><p>Lavinia wasn't sure at first, but she thought she heard Sarah crying. She headed over to the front room. Yes, Sarah was definitely crying. She put her arm around her. "There, there, pet, everything is going to work out, you'll see."<p>

Sarah smiled through her tears. "Oh Auntie, look at this, John did this months ago and I forgot about it till just now." Lavinia looked at the TV screen. The words, "SARAH JANE IS TERRIFIC" flashed across it. "John put this computer together and this was the first thing he put on it when he got it to work."

Lavinia watched the screen, not even trying to understand how he'd done it. She'd given up trying to figure things out after her second day back. "He's very special to you," she said. "And you're very special to him."

Sarah nodded. "That's why I need him to come home to me, so I can tell him that."

* * *

><p>John didn't know how long he'd been unconscious, only that he was starting to wake up. The peaceful strains of a music box playing Christmas carols seemed to vibrate in his head, tempering the panic that had been with him since he'd been kidnapped, soothing him. The floor was hard, and his lips were dry and cracked, but his mind latched onto the music, and he curled up and put his arm under his head as a pillow, not wanting to open his eyes.<p>

He didn't move more than he had to; he tried not to think about what had come before, and how much every part of him seemed to hurt. The music … everything was all right, it had to be. He thought of Sarah, and of the baby, and how happy he was going to be to get home.

"What are you thinking?" a voice asked him.

"I'm thinking about home," he rasped, still keeping his eyes closed, not wanting to break the spell 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful' seemed to be weaving over him. "I'm so thirsty."

"What are you thinking about home?" the voice asked.

"How much I want to be there," he said. "Please, can I have some water?"

"I'd be happy to give you some water, but first tell me where home is."

John thought about what to say. Some part of him told him to protect Sarah Jane, and under no circumstances to mention the baby, and especially its father. But they already knew about Sarah, already knew where he lived. "Hillview Road," he said.

"Not that home," the voice said, now very close to his ear. "Your TARDIS, Doctor."

John's heart began to pound, and he tried to hold onto the music, still quietly playing in the background. "Please, I swear I don't know. I just want to go home."

"I know you do." A hand took hold of his chin and his eyes flew open to complete darkness. He took hold of the wrist and tried to pull it away, to stop the intrusion into the music, but he could barely lift his arms and he knew it was useless. "Just tell me and this will all be over."

"Please," John begged. A few moments passed, and the song ended, fading into another.

"You know," the voice said matter-of-factly, "you're really no good to me this way."

John was too weak even to panic as hands turned him onto his stomach. In his head, he focused on the strains of "Silver Bells" as his arms were pinioned behind him, thinking of Sarah and wondering if he would live to see their baby.

"No good to me at all."

* * *

><p>Cornelius Wentworth didn't often venture down to Canary Wharf. Certainly he was the Crown's liaison with with Torchwood, but that didn't mean that he liked actually seeing Horace Dewhurst.<p>

However, the operatives that had been taken at that Smith woman's home were "officially" on his payroll, which meant that Alistair had called him immediately to see whether this would give them any leverage.

He knew how Dewhurst operated, so he was sure that it wouldn't, but in the name of friendship he'd decided that he would put the utmost effort into getting this Tinker chap back. He remembered Port mentioning the girl a few months before; he'd been quite taken with her at the time, so if he was so intent on getting her intended back, it was important enough for a trip into the lion's den.

He didn't even slow down at Dewhurst's secretary, and simply walked right into the Director's office. "We need to talk, Horace."

Dewhurst looked up from his paperwork without any expression. "I'm always happy to talk to you your Lordship. But I must say, it's not like you to just pop in for a visit. Is something wrong?"

"Carrington and Boudoin," Cornelius said. "Surely you've noticed that they're missing." There was no hint of the jovial tone he'd used the first time they'd had this conversation.

"Of course I noticed. My men on are that right now. Is that what this unannounced visit is all about?"

"It certainly is. It seems that they were apprehended last night in the home of one Sarah Jane Smith, who just happens to be the fiancee of UNIT's missing scientist. I told you," he said, staring coldly at Horace, "that I did not want to have an awkward conversation with Lethbridge-Stewart."

"If he's making life difficult for you, I can arrange to have him quietly taken care of." Dewhurst absently rubbed the fingers of his right hand together; he was ready to jump on the chance if only he could get permission.

"Horace," Wentworth said, "let me make something perfectly clear to you. If anything should happen to Lethbridge-Stewart, or to that Smith woman, or to John Tinker, if they should suffer some unfortunate accident, I will be having **_you_** taken care of. You may consider Torchwood your own private playground, but it is still chartered by the Crown, and I'm certain that you are aware that your position is not nearly as … shall we say 'solid' as you would like it to be." He leaned down so close that Dewhurst could feel the heat radiating off his face. "Now **GET ME JOHN TINKER**."


	35. Chapter 35

**Author's note: **We are SO sorry for the delay in posting! As you know, we try to hold to a Wednesday/Saturday morning schedule, but we are in the process of opening a store, and we were up into the wee hours of the night putting up paneling and painting. We promise, we ARE replying to reviews right now! Thanks...

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><p>The Brigadier was sorting through investigation reports on his desk when he looked up to see Lord Wentworth. This couldn't be good. He held his breath, waiting.<p>

"Port, old man, I'm afraid I have some rather disturbing news for you."

Not even the normal pleasantries. The Brig's blood ran cold. "Give it to me straight, Stout."

Stout sat down across from his friend. "I promised you that I'd do what I could to get your man back for you. I even went down there to personally rattle some cages. But I'm afraid that things seem to have gone a bit pear-shaped."

"How badly pear-shaped," the Brig asked warily.

"I tell you, Port, I pushed as hard as I could short of actually removing him, which I told him I'd do if anything should happen to you or Miss Smith. I mean, I'd remove him now, but at least he's vulnerable, and -"

"How badly, Stout?"

Wentworth hesitated, then sighed. "They're claiming that he's missing, and that no-one knows where the blazes he is."

The Brig let that sit for a moment. Another man might have demanded answers, but they both knew what Stout was trying to say. "In other words," he finally said, "there's a good possibility that he is ... deceased."

Wentworth was quiet for a moment. "Officially, no one ever had him," Stout finally said. "Unofficially, I think you should assume the worst."

* * *

><p><p>

The Brigadier avoided Benton's gaze as he headed out to his Jeep. He'd have to deal with the listening device when he came back; he owed it to Sarah Jane that she should be the first to know what might have happened to her fiance, and he owed it to her to tell her in person.

As he drove to her house, he wondered if he might be going about this the wrong way. After all, he'd been so sure that Mister Tinker was the Doctor. Wasn't it just possible that he'd remembered who he was and escaped? Or perhaps he hadn't remembered, but he'd still managed to escape. After all, he and Sarah Jane had escaped from the D'itarka without him recovering his identity.

But try as he might, he couldn't fight the overwhelming sense of dread that hovered over him as he drove to South Croyden. Given what he'd seen and heard, he couldn't imagine that Mister Tinker was in any condition to escape from anything.

Which brought him to Sarah Jane. Would it be better to encourage her, to let her think that perhaps he had escaped? Or would that just be more cruel, dragging out the agony of thinking he was out there somewhere when he knew in his heart that whoever he was, wherever he had come from, the man they knew as John Tinker had very likely been murdered right here in London?

He decided not to decide; he'd see what kind of condition Sarah was in, and react to conditions on the ground, so to speak.

As he pulled up to Sarah Jane's house, he was acutely aware of the guards that were still watching her, even though they no longer had the element of surprise. Even so, the street seemed almost hauntingly empty, the trees from the park across the street waving gently in the breeze as he walked up to her front door.

Sarah ran to the door when the bell rang. Her heart stopped beating when she saw who it was. 'Oh no, oh please no,' she thought to herself. From the look on his face, she didn't need to be told that the news wasn't good.

"Brigadier," she exclaimed. "Why are you here? Something's gone wrong hasn't it? That's why you're here, isn't it, to tell me in person." The room began to swim and she felt as if she were about to pass out. "Have you found John? Is he..."

The Brig took her by the elbow and led her to the sofa. So much for taking it gently. "I'm afraid we've had some news, but it might not be as bad as all that."

Lavinia rushed to her side. "My poor dear, you should be upstairs in bed resting."

"No Auntie, I need to hear what the Brigadier came here to tell me." She turned to him. "Go ahead, I'm waiting," she said as she grasped his hand for strength.

He hesitated. Part of him didn't want to tell her, but he knew that she was a strong woman. He couldn't leave her in the dark. "I've had word that the organization that took Mister Tinker now claims that he's missing. It could mean that he's escaped, or that they simply have no intention of giving him up, or …"

"Or something terrible has happened and he's never coming home to me," she said, finishing his sentence as she squeezed his hand tightly. She could tell that the Brig was trying to break the news to her gently. How do you tell a good friend the worst news that they would ever hear?

The Brigadier looked up at Lavinia for support.

Lavinia sat down at Sarah's side and comforted her. "There's no point jumping to conclusions. You don't know that, dear."

"I'm not jumping to conclusions Aunt, and the Brigadier doesn't think I am either, do you Brigadier," she looked at him, begging him to lie to her, but knowing he wouldn't.

The Brigadier took a deep breath. The first time he'd met the Doctor, he'd had to personally deliver nine messages of condolences to next of kin. He'd done it countless times since then. It had never been as hard as it was right now. "No, Sarah Jane, I'm afraid not. It's unlikely that Mister Tinker is still alive."

There it was, the one thing she had been dreading had just been confirmed. John was gone. He had only been a part of her life for a few short months, but as long as she lived, she would have to face her regrets and sorrow, knowing that someone wonderful loved her and she let him go without telling him how much she loved him. She was too numb right now to even cry. She felt empty and alone. "Oh John," was all she could say.

Just then they heard tires screeching outside, and the sound of gunshots. Before anybody could stop her, she ran to the door and flung it open.

Just as she opened the door John tumbled out of a black Land Rover as it sped past. He rolled to a stop and lay on the pavement, bloody and still.


	36. Chapter 36

**Author's Note: **We know, we're late again, so sorry, but today is opening day at the store, so we're behind. We promise to reply to reviews sometime this weekend, and I'm sure that there are typos that we missed, so please let us know and we'll get them fixed. Thanks so much!

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><p>He was too still, it was as if she were reliving the day he showed up on her doorstep. But Harry wasn't here and she couldn't tell if John was breathing or not. He looked really bad, much worse than the first time.<p>

"It's John," she cried, looking up at the Brigadier, who had practically leaped over the two of them to fire at the Land Rover careening down the street. "I can't tell if he's alive or not. Oh, please, call an ambulance and have them send someone to help him right away."

As he ran back into the house, she turned back to John, kneeling down next to him. She put her head on his chest, but she couldn't hear anything. She felt for a pulse, but couldn't find one. "Oh John, please don't leave me. Not now, not after I've discovered how much I love you. You can't die," she begged him. "There's so much I haven't told you. The baby, our baby needs you, and so do I. You can't leave us like this. John," she called out louder. "John no, oh no, no, no," she rocked back and forth crying.

Thirty-eight seconds and an eternity later, an ambulance screeched to a halt in front of the house, the medics jumping out and running towards her. "Ma'am," one said gently, "you need to give us some room."

Sarah looked up with surprise. "Please save him," was all she could say. Then she moved away slightly, not wanting to be too far from him. She watched as the two men started to go to work on John. Everything seemed as if she were seeing it in slow motion.

The Brig had just hung up the phone and came back out to the street, marveling at their response time. He held Sarah's bloody hand as the medics worked.

One listened grabbed a stethoscope and listened to John's chest. "Set up to defib."

Sarah watched as John's bloody shirt was cut open and paddles were placed in his hands. The man put one of them just below John's collar bone and the other by his left armpit near his ribs. He turned to Sarah and asked her to move farther back. Once she did, he turned to his partner. "Clear," he shouted.

John's body jumped and stiffened. As Sarah looked on in horror, her body jumped too. When his body went limp, the EMT turned to his partner who was looking at a monitor. The man shook his head and his partner held the paddles firmly in place. "Clear," he shouted and once more John's body leaped into the air. Sarah jumped again too. It wasn't until the fifth shock when the EMT looked over at his partner, and finally got a thumbs up.

"It's thready, but it's there." said the second EMT. "Let's get him into the back and head out right away."

Sarah watched as they placed John on a stretcher and started to head for the ambulance. "Wait," she called out. "You're not taking him anywhere without me."

"Are you his wife?" the medic asked, opening the ambulance door. Off in the distance, another siren wailed.

"Yes I," Sarah Jane stopped herself. She suddenly realized that without knowing it, sometime in the last two weeks she had come to think of John as her husband and herself as his wife. "Well, no, not exactly," she answered. "I'm his fiancee and I'm his legal guardian as well. So I have every right to go with him," she said firmly.

"Then climb in, ma'am." And in a moment, they were gone, with the Brig heading back to his Jeep to follow.

As he started the engine a second ambulance stopped in front of the driveway and the medics jumped out. "Where's the patient?"

The Brig's stomach dropped. "Already gone, move that thing!" He jumped into his jeep and drove over the neighbor's lawn to get around it following the first ambulance, RT in hand. The ambulance he'd called had been the second to arrive, and he called in reinforcements, checking on the number plate of the first one as he followed it through the streets.

The plate was legitimate; it really was an ambulance, and when it pulled into the hospital parking lot five minutes later, he was relieved to see that it had simply been called before Mister Tinker had arrived, and that it wasn't a trap. He'd pursue who called them and why later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment they arrived at the hospital, Harry was waiting for them, having also received an anonymous call. The Brigadier made sure he was assigned to the case, then set about figuring out exactly where he needed to deploy his security detail. Now that they'd found their Mister Tinker, he wasn't letting him get lost again. Then he went off to find Sarah Jane.

Sarah was sitting all alone in the waiting room with her head in her hands crying.

The Brig sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulder.

Sarah turned to him and sobbed her heart out on his shoulder. "They won't let me stay with him," she cried. "I just want to be there with him. He shouldn't be alone right now, he needs me and I need him."

"Right now you need to let the doctors give him the medical attention he needs," he said. "I promise you that I'll see to it you're with him as soon as possible."

Sarah nodded. She put her head back on the Brig's shoulder and let him hold her while they waited.

In a few moments a nurse came out carrying a small bundle an a manila envelope. She looked over at Sarah. "Are you Mr. Tinker's fiancee?"

Sarah nodded almost afraid to speak. "Is he ... is he going to be alright?"

"I'm so sorry, I don't have that information. All I know is that they're still working on him." She handed the package and the clothes to Sarah. "These are his personal belongings. You need to be responsible for them until he's well enough to get them back."

"Thank you," Sarah said hugging it to her. When the nurse left, she looked at John's things. She rubbed her cheek against his jacket. "It smells like him," she said softly to the Brigadier.

He noticed a bulge in the pocket. "May I?" he asked, and gently took the jacket from her, reaching carefully into the pocket in case the item was dangerous. After a moment he realized what it was, and drew the small velvet box out, handing it to her. "Well, it doesn't tell us where he's been, but it does tell us what he went into that shop to get."

Sarah took it and opened the box to find a simple, yet elegant ring. The stone wasn't very big, but it was set beautifully. She closed it, tears running down her face. "Oh John, John," was all she could say before she broke down once more.

* * *

>It was several hours later, after the Brigadier had seen to it that Benton's listening device had been removed, that he returned to the hospital to see how things were going.<p>Sarah sat at John's bedside holding his hand carefully so as not to disturb the wires he was hooked up to, never taking her eyes off of him. She was just as determined as the Brig was not to lose track of him ever again.<p>

He silently pulled a chair up next to her and sat down. "How's he doing?" he whispered, as though the tubes and wires didn't tell the story.

Sarah didn't take her eyes off of John. "They still don't know if he's going to make it. We've had a bad scare a few minutes after they got him into this bed, but they were able to revive him. The doctors say it will be touch and go for a while. If he makes it through the night, his chances will increase."

He didn't say anything for a few moments, watching her. In all the years he'd known her, he'd never seen her like this. Oh, he'd seen her sad, angry, scared, even worried, crying over the Doctor. But he'd never seen her so … vulnerable. If he'd had any doubt that she really loved this man, it was gone now. He gently draped a reassuring arm around her shoulder. "Has he been awake at all? Did he say anything?"

"No," she shook her head. "He hasn't even moved. Oh, Alistair, you should see what they've done to him. His entire body is swollen and covered with bruises, and worse." The tears fell freely down her cheeks. "When I think of what they put him through, and the pain he must have felt. He's such a gentle person, how could anyone make him suffer so? What kind of monster could have done this to him and why?" She grabbed his arm and kneaded it. "Why would they try to torture him to death?"

Alistair had some theories, but he wasn't sure which he wanted share with her. He couldn't tell her about Torchwood; that was too dangerous. Should he tell her that perhaps they thought he was the Doctor, just as he did? He couldn't bear to tell her that perhaps it had all sprung out of a rivalry that he himself had created. Instead he just shook his head. "I suppose we won't know until he wakes up."

Sarah's eyes glazed over with resolution. "Yes, not until he wakes up. Not getter better isn't an option. I can't, I won't lose him again."

"You've lost enough," the Brig said quietly.

* * *

>Sarah stayed by John's side all night. She kept watch over him until she couldn't keep her eyes open any more. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, she nodded off, her head on the bed and her hand still holding John's.<p>John awoke slowly, and gradually became aware of how he felt, wondering where the pain was. He felt himself relaxed, floating, something in his hand. Not yet wanting to open his eyes, he squeezed it, trying to figure out what it was.<p>

Sarah moaned softly as John's hand squeezed hers, too deeply asleep to awaken.

He heard a moan and was pretty sure it wasn't his. His throat felt too sore from screaming to moan anyway. It occurred to him that his eyelids looked orange; it wasn't pitch black any more, and the air was cool on his throat, not hot on his face as he breathed into the hood. Gradually he forced himself to open his eyes just a little, squinting in the light.

A checkerboard ceiling that seemed familiar... Was he in the hospital? He felt something on his shoulder and saw Sarah sleeping, her head up against him.

He smiled. Suddenly, everything was all right. He wanted to give her a huge hug, but that was out of the question for now, he knew, so he squeezed her hand again, and watched her sleep.

A few minutes later, Harry walked into the room, chart in hand and prepared for the worst. He'd examined John the night before and he knew his chances weren't very good. He looked at Sarah first. How he wanted to hold and comfort her. Her face looked peaceful, but her cheeks had tear streaks on them. He was about to stroke her hair when he noticed that John's eyes were open. "I say," he said out loud with surprise and delight. "You're up, old chap!"

Sarah's head suddenly picked up and her eyes went immediately to John's face. "John, oh John, you did come back to me." She was crying again, but this time, it was with tears of joy.

"Of course I did," he rasped. Looking at her face, he didn't think he'd ever been happier in his life. "Sorry I'm late."


	37. Chapter 37

"Late? Oh no, you're not late John. I'm the one that's late and who needs to apologize." The expression on Sarah's face was unmistakable. It was one of complete joy and love. Knowing now that she wasn't going to lose John meant everything to her. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I have so much to tell you, I barely know where to begin."

Before she could, however, the room just exploded with activity. Harry and not one, but two nurses began examining John and calling out vital signs, with the Brigadier suddenly at his side asking about what had happened and what he knew about his kidnappers.

He tried to follow everyone, but there was just so much going on around him the he felt himself getting completely overwhelmed until he heard the Brig's voice boom, "All right, everyone just stop."

All eyes were on the Brigadier. "What do you need, Mister Tinker?" he finally said.

"A few minutes, please, alone with Sarah," he gratefully rasped.

"Right, then," the Brig said. "Everyone who's not engaged to Mister Tinker, clear off. We'll be back in a few minutes."

And then, as suddenly as it had started, the chaos was gone. Harry hung back in the corner, watching to make sure that he was all right.

John took a deep, painful breath. "As I was about to say, I have a lot to tell you, too," John said. Suddenly he frowned. "Oh no, I don't... my jacket, did I have my jacket with me?"

Sarah laughed. "As a matter of fact, they gave it to me along with your other personal effects. You seem to have a bad habit of showing up half dead on my doorstep with a ring in your pocket, Mister Tinker."

He looked disappointed. "You saw it, then. It was supposed to be a surprise."

"If you don't mind, John, I've had more than enough surprises lately. I'd much rather have things quiet and dull for a while."

"Well, you're going to have to endure one more, if you wouldn't mind handing it to me. I went through a lot of trouble to get this ring, and I'm going to make sure that you get it before anything else happens."

Harry handed Sarah John's jacket, but otherwise, he realized, he might as well not even be there. He'd had his reservations about John marrying Sarah, and even when he'd known that John's memory had been tampered with, it had been hard not to be angry at John's theoretical abandonment of her. But watching the two of them, it was obvious to anyone that they were genuinely in love, and he decided that the Brig was right; he'd give them a little bit of time before he came back to examine John. He quietly slipped out of the room, sure that they hadn't even noticed.

Sarah, meanwhile, handed the ring to John. "I'll make you a deal. You can surprise me as much as you like, but no more collapsing on my, well, **our**front porch, all right?"

"That's a deal," he said, looking at the ring one more time before looking back at her. He'd planned this moment out so carefully, but he supposed that none of that was truly important. "Now, I can't get down on one knee, so you'll have to just imagine that I have, all right?"

Sarah smiled adoringly at him. "I promise, in my mind right now John, you're not only on one knee, but I haven't see the ring yet and I have no idea what you're up to."

He smiled. "You're very kind." He looked around to make sure that nobody could hear them. "Now I know that the first time I did this it was a bit … er … well, it wasn't what I would have liked it to have been. So I wanted to tell you that I'm in love with you. No more looking for the past. I don't care who I was. I don't care if I was a King, or a Nobel laureate, or the most important man in the Universe. All I want to be is your husband. Now, I know that this ring," he said, turning the open box towards her, "I know it's not quite as big as the other one, but I think it's beautiful, and I paid for it myself, and it's just for you. Will you marry me?"

Sarah looked at the ring in his hand. She just hoped that she was worthy of all the love that John wanted to give to her. "I think it's a perfect ring and very beautiful John, but there are a few things that I'd like to say to you before I give you my answer. I hope you don't mind."

John looked stricken. "You're not going to say 'no', are you? I don't think I could take it."

She took a deep breath, realizing that she was about to take a very important step and that once she took it, her life and her future would change forever. "Before I say yes, and I will, I need to tell you that I spent a lot of time while you were missing thinking about my feelings for you. I want you to know that I've decided that I'm totally ready to put the past behind me too, John. The only future I want is with you. I'm just so sorry that it took losing you for me to realize how much I love you. I've been an idiot. I've been too busy pining away and for so long for what I thought I lost, that I was blinded to how wonderful what I had right next to me all the time was.

"With all my heart, I love you John. You're not only perfect for me, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. So yes, John, I will marry you, any time, any way you want to get married. I'm yours and no one else's, if you'll have me as your wife."

"Oh, I'll have you as my wife, future Mrs. Tinker." He took the ring out of the box and used every bit of strength he had to put it on her finger, then relaxed back into the pillows, exhausted. "I'll have you as my wife as soon as you can get a justice of the peace up here. If you want to wait, I understand, but I don't want to lose one more second."

"I don't want to wait either. We'll get married now and we can have another wedding in that little church as soon as you're well enough. Just let me make a few phone calls. I can get the Brig to marry us and I'll tell Auntie to hurry here as soon as she can."

And then she was gone, off to make some phone calls. A moment later, the Brigadier and Harry entered.

"Mister Tinker," the Brigadier said. "I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you several questions regarding your kidnapping. The first one being, do you have any idea of why you were kidnapped?"

John thought back to what he'd experienced since his disappearance and felt his heart start to race. At first he shook his head, but he knew that wasn't true.

Harry noticed John's heart monitor begin to rise rapidly. "Brigadier, I don't think Mister Tinker is ready to deal with this yet. His heart rate just rose to a dangerous level."

"All right, Mister Tinker," the Brigadier said, trying to be reassuring. "Don't worry about it now. We'll deal with it later."

John was relieved, but felt he couldn't let it go. "No, it's … Brigadier, they … I don't know why, but they thought …" He couldn't bring himself to say it. He couldn't bring himself to even think about it. Of course, the whole thing was ludicrous. Of course he wasn't the Doctor. Except … what if he was?

Monitors screeched, and the Brig didn't need Harry to tell him about John's heart rate. He put his hand on John's shoulder. "Steady on, it's alright, you needn't talk about it now, Mister Tinker. When you've recovered a bit more, then we'll talk about it. I will promise you though, that whoever did this will have to answer for it."

All John could think about was UNIT going after people who had become gargantuan monsters in his mind.

Harry took the Brigadier by the arm. "That's it," he said. "Out. Now." And with that he ushered a very surprised Brig from the room, then returned to the bed. "John," he said steadily, "you know I'm your friend."

John nodded, trying to remain calm.

"I'm also your doctor, and I'm giving you an order. Whatever you're thinking about, stop it right now and just focus on your bride. Because if you don't calm down right now I will have to give you a sedative, and then you can't get married until it wears off." He smiled. "Now think about Sarah Jane. Just her, and that's all."

John tried to push the images out of his head. "I'm getting married," he said. "I'm getting married." He said it again and again, closing his eyes and picturing Sarah Jane in the most beautiful wedding gown he could imagine. "I can't do this now, I'm getting married."

"That's right," Harry said. "You're getting married."

John felt his pulse - and the uncontrollable shaking - begin to slow. "I'm getting married. And you're going to be my best man, right Harry?" He looked up at him hopefully.

"Of course I am, old chap. I gave you my word I would, didn't I? Now you rest up and you'll be a married man before you know it."

John nodded again, just repeating, "I'm getting married," over and over again.

But when Harry left the room, he thought about what he'd seen, and he wasn't nearly as cheerful as he would have liked to have been.


	38. Chapter 38

Harry went off to find Sarah Jane, but he wasn't exactly hurrying about it.

He had a lot on his mind.

It was more than John's physical condition that was bothering him. Oh, certainly, that was enough; John's body had been through the ringer, and even when he'd been "released" it hadn't been over. Each shock it had taken to get his heart back into a proper rhythm had done more damage, and while they had ultimately brought him back from the brink, Harry was definitely concerned.

Especially with the high levels of C-reactive protein that he'd detected in John's bloodstream. It signaled a much higher level of inflammation than he expected, even with John's injuries. He was going to have to keep an eye on that; it pointed to the potential for even more heart trouble later.

Which made his other problem - John's reaction to questioning - even more troubling. It was natural that John would have a strong reaction, considering the torture he'd evidently experienced. But his actual reaction was akin to something more sinister.

In his early days in the Navy, Harry had been excited to find that he'd been assigned to work with a particularly revered instructor, who'd just returned from Vietnam as part of a mission to train Australian troops. For the life of him, Harry couldn't remember his name, but he'd never forget the look in the man's eyes when people asked him about the experience, because it was a look he'd seen so many times on his own father's face when he'd returned from North Africa in 1944 minus a leg lost to a German mine.

His father was the reason Harry had decided to become a doctor. He was also the reason that Harry had not, as many of his colleagues had, chalked his instructor's anxiety attacks and behavior up to "battle fatigue" and forgotten about it. Instead, it seemed to him a condition known as "post-Vietnam Syndrome", though he'd been hearing rumblings lately that some of those writing about it wanted to call it "post traumatic stress disorder".

He didn't care what anybody called it, it was clear that John was suffering from it, and they were going to have to be careful to make sure they kept it in check until he was strong enough to deal with it.

He found Sarah Jane fluffing flowers bought from the hospital gift shop and pulled her aside. "Congratulations," he said.

Sarah leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Oh Harry, I'm so happy right now that I'm in love with the whole universe. John's better and we're getting married in a few minutes, what else could I possibly ask for?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Sarah Jane, there's something we should talk about before the ceremony."

Her smile faded into concern. "I don't much care for the way you said that, Harry. What's wrong?"

"Well, it's John. He is going to be all right, but you need to know that he hasn't exactly come out of this unscathed."

"Oh is that all," she said with relief. "Of course I know that, it'll probably take him weeks to recover."

Harry saw her relax and felt terrible going on. "Probably," he said, trying to choose his words carefully, "but he's never going to be one hundred percent of what he was. His heart took a lot of abuse, and it's … well, it's not gone bad, exactly, but it's not quite good either. He's going to need to be careful. No more of those huge fry breakfasts he likes so much."

"So, he'll just have to take care of himself and he'll be fine, right?" Sarah's eyes were asking him, no pleading with him, for reassurance.

Harry looked at her, radiant as she prepared to get married. Oh, what he would have given to be the groom. But in the end, he wanted her to be happy, and he couldn't bear to crush her. Not today. "That's right," he said. "He'll be fine. But you're going to have to keep him calm for a while. And he's really going to have to be serious about it, and so are you. And he'll need regular checkups," he warned. "I don't care how much he complains about it."

"I swear to you Harry, he'll eat right, exercise, take medication and get as many checkups as you say he needs. You have my word on it. He will be able to lead a normal life though, won't he, and a long one, right?" Again she gave him that pleading look.

He nodded, a smile plastered on his face. He'd handle things later. "Of course. Now you," he said, pointing her back at her flowers, "you go get married."

"One more thing, Harry. We'll be able to uhm, try to have children once he's fully recovered won't we? You see, we've discussed it, and we really want to start a family as soon as possible." She could feel herself blushing and she put her head down.

'Oh, the temptation,' Harry thought, but he had to be honest. "Yes, but you're definitely going to need to let him recover first."

"Of course. I know we'll have to wait awhile, but as long as John's going to recover and we can have children, then all's right with the world," she was smiling again. See you in a little while, Harry. Don't be late for the wedding, after all, you're the best man."

'If only,' Harry thought.

* * *

><p>Shortly, Sarah was hurriedly changing into the dress she'd asked her Aunt Lavinia to bring to the hospital with her when she called to ask her to be her Matron of Honor.<p>

"So as long as John takes care of himself and I make sure he does, he should be fine," Sarah said as she finished catching Lavinia up on everything. "Can you help me with this zipper please?" She turned so her Aunt could oblige.

"It sounds, my dear, as though you've finally made up your mind," Lavinia said.

"Oh, I really have Auntie, and I couldn't be happier. I know now that I love John with all my heart. Of course, I will always care about the Doctor, but John is my life."

"Then I wish the two of you the very best," she said, pulling the zipper all the way up and kissing her niece on the forehead. "Now get out of here before my mascara starts to run."

"You have to go into the room before me Aunt, so after you," Sarah picked up her bouquet of pink roses and blue forget me nots with baby's breath. She bowed to her Aunt. "And don't forget your flowers. It took the florist fifteen minutes to make them look like a bouquet."

Lavinia picked up her flowers and signaled for Harry to press "play" on the cassette player. Pachabel's cannon gently floated through the room.

Lavinia walked in smiling at everyone. In a way she felt that this was her day as much as it was Sarah Jane's and John's. Of course, she wouldn't dream of saying anything, but to see her niece grown into a beautiful woman, married and happy, with a child on the way, made her feel very accomplished. She had raised her and fulfilled the promise she made to herself and her brother and his wife the day of they passed away. She had given Sarah all that she could and had succeeded in giving her a good start in life. Sarah was marrying a wonderful man who would be a good and loving husband to her and a caring father to their children. She couldn't wish anything better for her.

Sarah Jane followed her Aunt and when she walked into the room and saw John and their friends there, she felt as if she would explode with happiness. She knew that the room wasn't grand, and that her pink chiffon dress wasn't anything special and that they wouldn't have a wedding reception, but all that mattered to her right now was the look of love on John's face and that in a few moments they'd be man and wife.

John watched Sarah walk into the room and at that moment, there was nothing else in the universe. Weeks ago he and Sarah Jane had promised each other that they'd leave the past behind, but neither of them were really ready for it then. Now he meant it with all his heart. He had a future now, and it was walking towards him in the most beautiful pink chiffon dress he'd ever seen in his life. He couldn't imagine loving her more than he did at this moment.

The Brigadier winked at them and began the ceremony. He asked each of them in turn if they wanted to be married each other, then had them exchange vows. John slipped the ring he had given Sarah earlier on her finger again and he pronounced them married. It was a simple but elegant wedding in spite of the surroundings. There was an air of peace and grace about it. The Brigadier felt that it was as it should be when two people were that much in love. "Well," he said smiling. "What are you waiting for man? Kiss your bride."

John blushed; he hadn't realized this moment would come in front of everyone. He looked to Sarah for guidance.

She shrugged shyly. "We did it. We're married, John."

John motioned for her to come closer and slowly, tentatively kissed her.

Sarah gently put her arms around him and kissed him back. At that moment, she felt reborn and the world seemed bright and new and full of hope.

* * *

><p>Standing quietly in the back of the room unseen, Lord Cornelius Wentworth watched the ceremony long enough to assure himself that everything was all right again for UNIT, Mr. Tinker, and Miss Smith, now Mrs. Tinker. He slipped away unnoticed, pleased with what he had managed to achieve. This event however, would not be reported anywhere in Torchwood's annals.<p>

* * *

><p>After a little over two weeks John had recuperated enough to be released from the hospital, and a veritable convoy made its way down Hillview Road. Stopping in front of Sarah Jane's house, UNIT soldiers made sure that everything was in order, while Harry helped Sarah pull a wheelchair out of the boot.<p>

"Welcome home, Mr. Tinker." Sarah said, kissed John's cheek.

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Mrs. Tinker."

"Come on, let's get you inside and comfy. We'll get your things in later. Harry and I will help you stand and then you can lean on me until you sit down. After all, it's only fair, you've been letting me lean on you for some time now."

John chuckled, and stiffly pulled his legs out of the car so he could stand, then let them help him to his feet and into the wheelchair. He still felt silly about it, but part of the conditions of Harry approving his release was that he didn't do anything at all stressful or strenuous. (That and following what John considered the blandest diet on the face of the planet, but he was willing to live with it as long as it meant he got to go home.)

While Harry got the chair up her front stairs, Sarah reached for the keys, but before she put them in the door, she turned to him. "Hold on, I have to make sure you don't get knocked over when we walk in."

John was confused. "Pardon?"

"Just you watch, you'll see what I mean soon enough." She put the key in and opened the door slowly, making sure she was standing in front of John as she did. In seconds a huge lolloping dog came charging up to her. "Down, Faraday, behave yourself."

The dog sat and waited, tail thumping wildly.

John gasped - in a good way. He let Harry help him onto the sofa, then sat down and smiled again at Sarah. "I love you," he said, then "Come here, boy," he told Faraday. The dog immediately bounded over and started licking his face, but much to John's relief, he didn't jump up. He was simply the perfect dog.

Sarah laughed. "I didn't think you'd mind, dear. He's been keeping K9 company while we were at the hospital. You see, UNIT managed to get everyone that was a member of your so-called family's memories back enough that they could all return to where they belonged. In fact, Gloria had a husband who had been searching for her for months, but it seems they got poor Faraday at the pound. Mr. Benton said they didn't know what to do with him and I told him we'd take him rather than have him sent back to the kennel. After all, he can't help it if he was trained to adore you, and I can't blame him for it, seeing as how I feel the same way."

"Well then," Harry said, "I can see we're all a bit redundant here, so how about we leave you two alone. Can I trust you to behave?"

"Absolutely," John smiled.

"Oh, you have my word on it Harry," Sarah promised.

"Good, because I know this isn't much of a honeymoon for you, but it'll be even less of one if I have to come back here and sleep on a cot until you're well enough to be back upstairs instead of on the couch." Harry looked sternly at the two of them.

"Well, we certainly don't want that to happen, do we John?"

"No, we absolutely don't," he said.

"Good. Then we're off," Harry said as he gathered up the UNIT crew and left.

Sarah sat down next to John and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Well, love," she smiled at him. "We're home."

* * *

><p><strong>EPILOGUE<strong>

John was extra diligent about taking care of himself, following every instruction the doctors gave him, attending every appointment, doing every physical therapy exercise they assigned, and in just under four weeks he was deemed well enough to re-open the fix-it shop.

Sarah had helped him put up the sign he'd made before everything had come crashing down around his ears, and he was out in the workshop by himself, working on the backlog of appliances that had built up while he was ill when he heard a knock on the open door.

He looked up to see a gentleman looking expectantly at him. "Mister Tinker?"

"Yes, that's me," John said, motioning for him to come in. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I just moved in down the road and the neighbors say that you're the person to ask about fixing this radio," the man said. "I think it's got a loose connection. It keeps going on and off."

"Let's have a look," he said, taking off the back. "Looks like a simple enough repair, but as you can see I've got a bit of a backlog, so it'll take a few days to get to it. I've been ill, you see." John pulled a tag off a pile. "If that's all right, I can let you know when it's ready."

"Not a problem at all," he said.

"And your name?" John asked.

The man smiled, a big broad smile. "Jack Harkness."

* * *

><p><strong>... THE END<strong>

**PLEASE NOTE: **As many of you know, we post every Wednesday and Saturday, and we never start posting until a story is completed. Since we posted the last two stories back to back, that means that we have been posting twice a week since the beginning of last April. We feel that it's time for us to take a bit of a break. So rest assured that while we will not be posting next Wednesday, we will be posting the next story in this arc the minute we get back from our "working" vacation. We are hoping to start posting again in late January or early February, so if you're interested, PLEASE set us for Author Alert so you'll know when we start back up.

That said, thank you all so much for sticking with this story! We know it's been a long trip, and we appreciate all of you! Have a wonderful holiday and a fantastic New Year. All the best, Sarah Jane and Nick


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